


Family Expansion

by Gabby (Kirahsoka)



Series: Where I've Always Been [5]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Angst and Tragedy, F/F, F/M, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Found Family, Gen, Growing Up, Love, Rebellion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-06-14 03:13:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 40,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15379434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirahsoka/pseuds/Gabby
Summary: A set of loosely connected stories that revolve around Leia. The POV varies, but Leia is the constant.This work is part of the “Where I’ve Always Been” universe, which covers a majority of the Star Wars timeline in an AU fantasy setting. I have set the stage in the beginning notes, for those who have not read other parts. Though, I do give some explanation in-story, as I am able.*will contain spoilers for other stories in WIAB series*





	1. Family

**Author's Note:**

> Setting: The entirety of the Star Wars universe is contained on one planet. The culture resembles a medieval/ancient rome with fantasy elements. The worlds you know are kingdoms, ruled by familiar people. The Jedi fell long ago and are now legend. However, that doesn’t mean the Force doesn’t exist. We join events after Palpatine has already risen and the rebellion is underway.
> 
> Characters: These are the same characters you know. Some of their experiences vary in this AU world, leading to sometimes different development.
> 
> Critical facts that differ from SW canon:  
> -Anakin and Ahsoka have a shared mother (i.e. siblings) and were royalty in the kingdom of Shili, before Anakin fell and destroyed it.  
> -Barriss and Ahsoka formed the organized rebellion on this world, connecting the various rebel leaders together.  
> -Ahsoka is a near unstoppable warrior called the ‘Lady Jedi’.  
> -Barriss is a master spy. In her rebellion role, she is a mysterious figure known as the ‘Lady of the Rebellion’.  
> -Ahsoka and Barriss are married.  
> -Luke was 10 when Ahsoka found out he existed.  
> -Bail needed rebellion help to free Leia from imprisonment, which forced him to reveal her existence to Ahsoka. The first story picks up in the aftermath of the rescue.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Leia is rescued from imprisonment by Bail and his rebel allies, she grapples with having a whole new set of family members in her life.  
> [POV: Leia]  
> [Age: 15]  
> [Occurs during chapter 51 of “Where I’ve Always Been”.]

“I’m sorry about what I said at the prison. I didn’t mean you needed protecting or anything,” Luke said anxiously.

A bit embarrassed by her earlier petulance, Leia replied, “It’s alright, I really wasn’t upset with you. I was just worried about my father.”

The boy looked relieved and ran a hand through his thick, unruly blonde hair. Then, he swiftly removed his chest plate and gauntlets, straightening out the underlying, beige tunic and shrugging on a khaki jacket that matched his pants. Pulling a cloth from one of the jacket pockets, he picked up his sword and wiped it down completely, before sheathing it on his hip. The actions were smooth and automatic, speaking to practiced repetition.

Leia had been moderately impressed with her newfound brother’s skills. Despite being only fifteen, his swordplay in the escape had been well-executed. More surprisingly, he had moved stealthily and efficiently as they travelled to the rendezvous site. She assumed the latter was a result of Barriss’ training. _Well, I can learn that, too._

The girl’s mind saw the objective benefits of her situation. These new relationships could definitely enhance her skill acquisition. Despite having the best tutors in Alderaan, she didn’t have anyone close to Barriss’ level or areas of expertise. And, while Leia was competent in self-defense techniques, knowing the Lady Jedi must be deemed an advantage. _Assuming, she will teach you. Your first interaction consisted of you refusing to listen to anything she said and her threatening to carry you forcibly from the prison._

Her emotions, on the other hand, weren’t quite so settled at suddenly gaining a whole new set of family members. _Not my family. Not really. Well, sort of._

Luke, apparently finished with his post-battle routine, looked back at her and added confidently, “Don’t worry, Aunt Ahsoka will get your dad. She promised.” His face reflected nothing but sincere belief in the statement.

 _Wow._ Trying to hold back an incredulous expression, she responded carefully, “Um, right. But, I mean, she can’t control everything. There could be too many soldiers, or unexpected problems, or—”

“No,” he interrupted firmly, “Aunt Ahsoka always keeps her promises. It doesn’t matter what happens.”

Leia stared. There was an earnestness about Luke that disconcerted her. Part of her wanted to scoff at his naiveté. At the same time, she found herself drawn to it. The innocent faith he so clearly had was somehow enviable. He had been raised in a foster home, lost those caregivers to Palpatine, and then lived in the midst of a rebellion. Compared to her theoretically perfect life, his had been difficult. Yet, he seemed so untouched by the world around him. _I must be the most jaded princess ever._ She tried to put some positivity in her voice. “Well, I hope you’re right.”

“Oh, I am. I understand, though. You don’t know her well enough, yet. You’ll just have to take my word for it.” He grinned engagingly, bright blue eyes shining.

Leia involuntarily smiled at his grin. _He is… endearing._  

Luke beamed, apparently pleased at managing to get a smile out of her.

The man called Rex interjected, “Luke, I’m going to work on a fire. While I’m gone, why don’t you get out a few bedrolls and the med supplies? Hera and Caleb should be back with everyone shortly. It’s always good to be prepared.”

The boy straightened slightly. “Got it, Uncle Rex. You can count on me.”

Rex grinned fondly at him. “I know I can.” The man gave Leia an amiable nod and then walked into the trees, presumably to gather some wood.

As Luke grabbed a crate from a nearby pile, Leia asked curiously, “You call him Uncle Rex?”

“Yeah, I always have. Aunt Ahsoka said I could, because he is part of our family too. Other than her and Aunt Barriss, he has taught me the most. He knows loads about tactics, hunting, hand fighting, and other stuff like… women.” His face tinged red. After a brief pause, he added softly, “Plus, he cares about me.”

Her heart pinged at the grateful happiness in his voice. “Well, that’s nice,” she said brightly.

Luke flashed a grin and started unpacking the crate in what was clearly a prescribed manner.

 _There’s so much more to learn._ Leia was adept at diplomacy, negotiation, and strategic planning. Part of her education also included a working knowledge of logistics, organization, and information gathering. However, she was quickly realizing how impractical it all was, in an everyday sense. _Well, that’s going to change._ She moved closer and knelt beside him. “Can I help? I don’t know what you’re doing, but I’d like to learn.”

“Sure.” Luke pointed to a smooth, stiff piece of fabric. “Lay out one of each bandage type and tool on this. Be careful not to get dirt on anything. Then, pull out the leather pouches, but don’t open them. They have special medicines that can’t be contaminated.” He handed her a large jar of a thick, gooey substance. “Put this on your hands, first. I’ve already put a layer on the holding sheet, but normally you’d do that too. After everything is out, arrange the metal tools by size. Aunt Barriss likes them that way.”

As she spread the strange substance on her hands, Leia asked, “Barriss is a healer? Is that how you learned to do all of this?” She flexed her fingers curiously. They were tingling, but not in an unpleasant way.

“Yep. She taught me the basics, but I still have a lot to learn. Aunt Barriss can do pretty much everything, actually. She is amazing.”

Mentally adding that item to her ever-growing of list of training requirements, Leia arranged everything as instructed, while Luke laid out bedrolls.

After a few minutes, a clambering of horses and voices echoed nearby. Luke swiftly drew his sword and moved in front of her protectively.

 _I thought we already covered that I can take care of myself._ Taking a deep breath, Leia pushed the annoyance away. _Calm down. It’s not like you can do much with just a dagger. He’s probably just being practical._ Still, she took out the modest weapon and stood beside him.

It turned out to be unnecessary as a half-dozen rebels appeared from the treeline. Leia stiffened. Her father was being carried. She ran forward to meet them. Intense relief rushed through her as he smiled weakly. “I’m alright. Don’t worry.”

Ben Kenobi and the man from the egress team— _Caleb? I think?_ —carried him to one of the bedrolls. “Luke,” Kenobi called, “we need you. Barriss and Ahsoka might not be here for a bit. You’re the next best healer we’ve got.”

Leia gaped. _All of these people and Luke is the best?_ He had underplayed his skills, apparently. _That really shouldn’t surprise me._

The boy grabbed some supplies and sprinted over, examining her father intently. “Aunt Barriss will have to make a diagnosis, but I can clean and bandage the wound. We need to better stem the bleeding.”

Kneeling on the other side of her father, Leia took his hand. “What happened?”

“My own fault,” the man replied, “I accidentally walked into a nest of soldiers. Then, I almost got everyone else killed trying to save me. Actually, if Ahsoka hadn’t arrived when she did, we might have all died.”

Grinning triumphantly, Luke glanced up at Leia. “See. Told you.”

She glared at him, but the edges of her mouth formed an unbidden smile.

There was another sudden set of arrivals. A boy a bit older than Leia strolled into camp with a small team of rebels behind him. She did a double-take at one of them. It was rare to see a Mandalorian outside of their home kingdom. And, this one was clearly unusual, given the brightly painted armor. These rebels were increasingly piquing Leia’s interest.

Caleb commented, “It’s about time, show-off. How long were you planning on continuing that assault?”

The young man produced a cocky grin. “You expected less from Ezra Bridger, soldier of destiny? It comes naturally.”

The Mandalorian snorted, before removing the neon orange, zig-zagged helmet to reveal an attractive, young woman. “I told him we should go. But, the soldier of destiny was on a mission.” The girl’s obsession with color apparently extended to her purple-tinted hair. However, Leia kind of liked it.

Ezra replied innocently, “Don’t be jealous of my warrior skills, Sabine. Maybe, next time, they’ll let you lead the assault. You know, if I’m unavailable or something.”

Sabine punched him hard in the arm and the young man let out a yelp. Then, the woman snorted again. “I need to have a serious talk with Ahsoka about your disturbing tendency toward reckless plans that might get us all killed.”

Caleb remarked dryly, “Um, have you met Ahsoka? You better try Barriss first.”

“Good point,” the woman replied with a grin.

Rubbing his arm in semi-annoyance, Ezra retorted, “Whatever. I just wanted to make sure everyone had time to get out.” He glanced around with seeming concern. “Speaking of, where are Ahsoka and Barriss?”

A woman Leia thought was named Luminara answered, “Still inside the compound. Ahsoka had to fight her way through five squads of soldiers that has us pinned down. She insisted we get Bail out, while she held them off. Barriss stayed to cover her.”

Luke looked up worriedly. “But, they’re coming soon, right?”

A firm voice came from the treeline. “Of course, they are.” Rex strode back into the clearing with a huge pile of firewood. He handed it off to Ezra. “Here, soldier of destiny, make yourself useful.”

The young man glared at him, but did as instructed.

Rex crossed over to them, gripping Luke’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, kid. They’ll be here.” Looking at Bail, he commented lightly, “Well, this is the last time we put you on the infiltration team.”

The man grinned weakly. “No arguments here, Captain.”

Leia watched Luke’s pensive face as he wrapped a bandage around her father’s chest. Despite his earlier bravado, she could tell he was worried about his aunts. _He could lose his family, because of me. No… he won’t. No matter what, he will still have me._ The girl leaned over and kissed his cheek. “You were right. She kept her promise.”

Luke gazed at her with a vacantly happy smile on his face.

She smiled back. _I have a brother._

_______

“We need to go back, Rex. What if they’ve been captured or injured?”

Leia didn’t stir from the resting position next to her father. However, she slitted her eyes to observe the nearby conversation.

Rex nodded. “I know, Caleb.” Glancing around quickly, he added, “Keep your voice down. I don’t want to alarm everyone.”

The girl suspected by everyone, he meant Luke. Leia had seen how careful the man was to project confidence in his interactions with her brother. Though, she also noticed Rex tended to do that with everyone. Unsurprising, as he was clearly the leader in the absence of Ahsoka and Barriss. Everyone treated him with the deference due to the person in charge. This interaction merely confirmed it.

For some reason, Leia was incredibly interested in these rebels, who appeared to all have personal relationships with the women who were… _My aunts, I guess?_ The term didn’t quite feel right, though she supposed it was factually accurate. Somehow, having a brother was easier, even pleasing, to accept. _You make no sense, Leia._

The captain continued, “It’s also possible they couldn’t get to the horses and they’re on foot. Or, unexpected problems have forced them to improvise. Charging in without more information is not strategically sound. I expect better from Barriss’ protégé,” the man ended with a chuckle.

Leia shifted curious eyes to Caleb. _Protégé, huh?_ Now, she wanted to know his story, too. Apparently, Barriss and Ahsoka had a habit of mentoring people. _That’s good for me, objectively speaking. They’re likely excellent teachers._

Caleb smiled and shook his head. “I wasn’t suggesting a swords blazing strategy. I think a small infiltration team. Perhaps, myself, Sabine, Kenobi, and Luminara? They have the strongest skill set for this kind of mission. Hera can monitor. We just need to ascertain their location.”

Rex considered. “It’s probably the best approach. There is a flaw, though. Do you think Ezra and Luke are just going to sit around and do nothing? We need a secondary strategy.”

“Well, they’ll just have to deal with it.”

“Caleb,” Rex said intently, “you have to account for the individual in your equation. Following orders, when people they love are at risk, is not their strong suit. We could end up with an unmitigated disaster on our hands, if they take it into their heads to charge off impulsively.”

A small amount of relief washed over Leia. She had been feeling unaccountably upset about her earlier behavior upon meeting Ahsoka. But, if the woman was used to it, maybe it wasn’t so bad. _Why do you care what she thinks of you? Besides, she may not care enough about you to let you off the hook._

Sighing, Caleb acknowledged the point. “What if we let Ezra assist Hera? It won’t hurt anything and he’s competent in that role. I’m not sure about Luke. He doesn’t have experience with this kind of work, right? His stealth skills seem adequate, but this requires significant expertise in infiltration. Plus, I suspect Ahsoka and Barriss would be extremely unhappy, if we put him in danger to rescue them.”

Rex chuckled. “You’re better at this than you pretend. Ahsoka would beat me senseless, before Barriss efficiently disposed of my body. In fact, they’ll be livid we left Leia even slightly less well-protected or risked any of our lives by sending people after them. Hmm… I’ll talk to Luke. I might be able to convince him we need him here, somehow.”

Not able to stop herself, Leia spoke up quietly, “Tell Luke I need him to stay, in order to take care of my father.”

They both jerked around to look at where she was laying. Leia shrugged slightly and sat up. “Sorry, but you are holding a clandestine conversation right next to me. It’s a little hard to ignore.”

Rex grinned. “Point taken.” Then, his expression turned thoughtful. “You think your strategy will work?”

“Yes, knowing he is needed here, that I need him specifically, will convince him. He probably still won’t be happy about it, but it will work.”

Caleb looked at Rex. “What do you think, Captain?”

The man nodded slowly. “Luke tends toward protective behavior and needs to feel useful, like his Aunt Ahsoka.” He grinned fondly. “And, despite appearances, he has some of Barriss’ more level-headed, evaluation skills. Reason combined with an emotional appeal should work. Yes, I think you’re right, Princess.”

Leia replied confidently, “Of course, I am.”

Rex chuckled. “Gods, it’s like talking to a young Ahsoka—except, more rational.”

The statement made Leia pleased and disconcerted at the same time.

“Alright, Princess, we’ll try it your way. We may need some well-timed support on your part,” Rex said impishly.

She raised knowing eyebrows. “Of course, you will.”

Both men laughed and Leia felt suddenly happy. But, she wasn’t sure why.

_______

All of the planning ended up being unnecessary as a short time later Barriss arrived, carrying an unconscious Ahsoka.

Leia had been rearranging her father’s blankets, but was distracted by the commotion as everyone rushed over in concern. _They all love her so much._ Continuing to watch with fascination as the entire group hovered over the wounded woman, she contemplated her own reaction. _I don’t even know her. Why am I so interested?_ Even more strangely, the whole thing made her feel… special.

Her father suddenly asked, “Leia, are you upset that I didn’t tell you about Ahsoka and Luke?”

She glanced back down to him quickly. “No, of course not. I’m sure you had your reasons.”

“Yes, that’s true. Still, you’d be within your rights to be angry about not knowing you had a brother and an aunt.”

Leia said carefully, “I’m not angry. I am just a bit—I don’t know. I’m not sure exactly how I feel about it all.”

“I guess that makes sense,” he replied contemplatively. “Having family members you didn’t know existed thrust upon you could be disconcerting.”

“I suppose,” she said uncertainly. Having more or less family shouldn’t make such a difference. Yet, it apparently did. Her reactions weren’t logical.

Her father placed a gentle hand on her cheek. “Adding them to your life doesn’t change what already is, Leia. You’re still my daughter.”

An unexpected sense of relief surged through her heart. _You already knew this. Why are you acting like an irrational child, lately?_ She attempted a confident smile. “I know.”

A hint of regret seeped into his voice. “Your mother and I struggled with this for a long time. We did it to protect you. At the same time, we felt you deserved the truth. It was additionally difficult, because we’ve known Ahsoka for many years. Keeping your existence a secret from her gave us no small amount of guilt. She is incredibly special, as you have no doubt realized by observing the people around us. Not letting you have that relationship, which could only result in happiness for you, was extremely hard.”

She stared at him in surprise. “You think that I should—well, think of her as my aunt?”

Her father smiled softly. “Absolutely. I believe you will find she is worthy of the title. Plus, having a brother—a twin, no less—is a wonderful thing. And, he is a very special boy, like his aunt. I can tell you already think so, as well. Not to mention, having Ahsoka means you also get Barriss. Knowing you, I’m sure you’ve calculated the benefits of that relationship.”

Leia gave him a guilty grin. “She’s already promised to teach me anything I want to know. I am making a list.”

He laughed. “Of course, you are. In any case, circumstances forced this decision upon us and there’s no going back. Still, I’m pleased on some level. It means you now have more people who love you in your life. That’s never a bad thing. Not only that, they are all amazing people that you deserve to know.”

Contemplating, she glanced across the camp to see Barriss making her way over to them. A comforting thought flew into her head. _Having an aunt doesn’t change who I am._ Leia looked back down at him. “Alright, I’ll keep it in mind.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” was the dry reply.

_______

Leia frowned at the rips in her dirt-covered, favorite blue dress. There was no way to salvage it. Washing it in the stream might make it smell better, but that was about it. “You know, one would think that if you went to all the trouble of bringing the mythical ladies of the rebellion to rescue me, you could have also managed to bring a change of clothes.”

Her father chuckled. “I’m sorry, my princess. I was a bit distraught.”

“Hmm… likely excuse,” she said with a small grin, “but, since you did almost die rescuing me, I’ll let it go. This time.”

That got her an exaggerated eye roll. “I appreciate your forbearance.”

“Leia,” a voice said from directly behind her. Jumping in violent surprise, the girl spun around so quickly she nearly fell over.

Barriss was gazing at her impassively and holding a small crate.

Leia exclaimed in annoyance, “Were you trying to sneak up on me or is it just an unbreakable habit?” Her voice had shifted automatically into superior princess mode and she felt immediate regret. _I’ve somehow regressed into a petulant child._

The woman quirked an eyebrow. “Next time, I’ll be sure to yell from halfway across the camp, so you can adequately prepare yourself.”

There was a snort from the bedroll. “Don’t mind my daughter. She isn’t accustomed to someone getting the jump on her.”

Leia glared at him. _A little help here, please. I already looked like an idiot, thanks._

“In any case,” Barriss said, “I brought you some clothes. I thought you might want to change, given you’ve been stuck in that dress for over two weeks.”

“Oh,” Leia uttered awkwardly, “um, thank you.”

“These are my clothes, as I’m closest to your size. Unless, you’d like to battle Sabine for pieces of brightly colored, Mandalorian armor.” The blue eyes flashed with amusement. “These will likely still be a bit big on you, though. If you don’t want to change, that’s fine. I won’t be offended.”

The girl rushed out, “No, I do.” She met the woman’s eyes gratefully. “Truly, I appreciate it.”

There was a slight smile in return and Barriss set the crate down. “Well, I’ll leave this with you.” Then, she headed back across the clearing.

Leia stared after her, hoping the woman wasn’t offended. She didn’t typically feel a need to impress people. However, in this case, the urge was strong. Barriss had promised to teach her and Leia wanted to start off on a better footing than she had with Ahsoka.

Her father spoke up, “That was nice of her. In fact, this worked out even better. A piece of clothing from the Lady of the Rebellion could bring in enough on the black market to build a new wing in the castle. Actually, if you pick out a really memorable outfit, we could get a whole new castle out of the deal.”

Sending her eyes skyward, Leia commented shrewdly, “I think you’re just glad I won’t be complaining all the way back to Alderaan about my dress.”

He grinned. “Now, that did not cross my mind at all. Ok, maybe once… or twice.”

She shook her head in amusement and then knelt down to dig through the crate. Many of the items were utilitarian, yet still elegant and stylish. “I have to say the Lady of the Rebellion has excellent taste in clothing.” _Hopefully, something in here actually fits and I don’t look like a nerfherder._

There was a groan from the bedroll. “I can see that not only is Barriss never getting her clothes back, but I’m not getting my new wing in the castle, either.”

Leia smiled impishly. “Well, I am a bit of a princess, you know.”

_______

Stepping out of the woods, Leia glanced down at the hunter green, linen pants and matching singlet in satisfaction. The arms and legs were slightly long, but manageable. It wasn’t as form fitting as her usual clothing, but it was more comfortable. _I’m sure these look much better on Barriss._

Wrapping a jasmine-colored sash around her waist, she carried the crate back over to her father. “Well, what do you think?”

He gazed at her in satisfaction. “Actually, this may be one of my favorites. You look very nice and it is much more practical for travelling. Is there a matching cloak, as well? If you’re going to be the Lady of the Rebellion, you should go all in,” he added with a grin.

She laughed. “Hmm… yes, there were a few cloaks in here. Let me see. Ah, here we go.” She pulled out a billowing, emerald cloak with rich, velvet trim. “What about this one?”

“Wow. I like it.”

Leia slid her arms into the overly long sleeves, wrapping the voluminous fabric around her. “I feel like I’m inside a cocoon.”

There was a dry chuckle behind her. This time Leia didn’t jump quite so high, but it was close.

Barriss commented, “Tell me about it. It’s deliberately oversized. I use it in my Fulcrum persona to add an extra layer of anonymity. On a positive note, it keeps me warm.” She dug into the crate and pulled out a thinner, smaller, mahogany-colored cloak. “Here, try this one. I think it will suit you better.”

Switching cloaks, Leia tested the sleeves and the movement. She smiled. “Perfect. Thanks.”

“Excellent,” the woman replied, “and good choice of outfit, as well. It’s one of my favorites.”

Bail groaned. “Oh no, we’re in trouble, Leia. She’s going to want her clothes back. How will I fund my new wing of the castle?”

The girl glared at him. “I can’t believe you just said that.” She looked askance at Barriss. “He’s just joking.”

Barriss glanced between them with amusement. “I know, my dear. I’m familiar with your father’s sense of humor—too familiar.”

The man produced an exaggerated expression of wounded pride. “Ahsoka appreciates my jokes.”

Raising a snarky eyebrow, the woman replied, “I don’t doubt it.” Then, she approached Leia, smoothing out the fabric on the cloak. Warm eyes gazed at her. “You look lovely, Leia. They’ll look even better in a few months, when you get a bit taller. Keep them.” Moving away, she picked up the crate and turned to go.

“Are you sure?” Leia asked uncertainly.

Barriss looked back at her with a slight smile. “Yes, I’m sure. Consider it a gift for my amazing niece.” Then, she added impishly with a glance toward Bail, “Plus, you never know when you might need some emergency funds for castle upkeep.” With that, she walked away.

Following the woman’s progress across the campsite, Leia grinned. _I have an… aunt._

_______

Leia sat cross-legged, running fingers through long, dark brown strands of hair, trying to get the tangles out. Finally giving up the fight, she coiled them into a bun and pinned it near the top of her head. Refocusing curious eyes on the unconscious woman beside her, she attempted another appraisal.

The elegant lekku, symmetrical face, and graceful neckline gave Ahsoka a somewhat regal beauty in the soft moonlight. Her well-honed, warrior physique evoked commanding strength, while the white markings and defined cheekbones added a level of fierceness to the other features. Leia had already noted the woman’s radiant, expressive blue eyes in the prison. Overall, the combination was striking. _I’m surprised soldiers don’t just run at the sight of her._ Meeting Ahsoka on the battlefield would be memorable, even before she tore through the enemy lines.

No matter how she approached it, though, Leia couldn’t find anything of herself. Clearly, many of Ahsoka’s physical characteristics came from her half-Togruta bloodline and minimal resemblance might be expected. Still, Luke was there. Leia could see him in several places. _But, not me. Perhaps, the chin?_ Giving a frustrated sigh, the girl gave up.

They had arrived at a new encampment a few hours ago, but Ahsoka still hadn’t woken up. Leia found herself getting more and more concerned about it. _Why are you so worried? You don’t even know her._ It would be a loss for the rebellion, of course, and for Luke. _Yes, that’s it. I’m just worried about Luke._ Somehow though, Leia didn’t quite believe herself. _This only happened because of you._ Also true, but she wasn’t sure that was the real reason, either. _What if right when you’ve decided you’d like to have her around, she’s gone?_

A quiet voice interrupted her thoughts, “She’ll be alright, don’t worry.”

Leia jerked up to see Barriss hovering over her. Pride at not jumping out her of skin mixed with the concern. “Are you sure?”

The woman settled next to her. “Yes, I’m sure. Ahsoka has been injured much more severely and survived.”

Her worry vanished. _Strange._ Despite having just met the woman yesterday, Leia apparently had complete confidence in Barriss’ assessment. “I’m glad.”

“Me too,” Barriss replied with a bright smile.

The unexpected expression accented the woman’s delicate facial structure, slightly crinkling the unique diamond tattoos and lightening the intensity of her deep blue eyes. Leia abruptly realized that Barriss was just as striking as Ahsoka. It was a quieter effect, more lithe and enigmatic, but equally remarkable.

The girl wanted to know more about the unusual woman, but wasn’t sure how to approach it. The Lady of the Rebellion was supposedly mysterious and unknowable. Leia had overheard rebel operatives say it many times. She now knew that wasn’t completely true. Though, showing herself was clearly reserved for the few people Barriss loved, which only served to increase Leia’s desire to know. Technically speaking, the woman didn’t have any obligation to her. Yet, it was clear Barriss intended to be her aunt, as well. Once again, Leia felt inexplicably special.

Barriss continued, “You should really get some rest. Sitting around staring at Ahsoka doesn’t make her wake up any faster. Believe me, I know.”

“I know, but I rested a lot with my father at the rendezvous. Plus, I have spent the last couple of weeks in a cell with nothing to do, except sleep. As exciting as that was, I thought I might try a change of routine.”

The woman laughed and the sound was startling. _Barriss Offee laughs._ Leia was pleased with herself for eliciting it and was tempted to try again. _You've lost it._ “Oh, I almost forgot,” she exclaimed, pulling the sheathed dagger from her sash, “this is yours. Thanks for letting me borrow it.”

Barriss smiled softly and ran her fingers over the hilt, before putting it back on her belt. “You're welcome.”

Leia gazed at her. “Is it special?”

“Yes, it's very special. Ahsoka gave it to me, so I would remember,” Barriss vaguely replied, eyes distantly happy. Then, they refocused on Leia. “Which reminds me, I owe you a story about how Ahsoka and I met when we were your age. Since you can't sleep, would you like to hear it now?”

“I’d like that very much.” Leia's mind filled with anticipation. This would give her more information on both of her… aunts. The word still felt weird, but, this time, also pleasing.

“Alright then,” Barriss said warmly, “let me tell you about an emotionally-challenged spy, a shining young warrior, and their long night trapped in a pit.”

Shifting to face the woman, she focused intently. Leia briefly wondered why she was so excited. _I don’t care. I am. And, I’m going with it._

_______

Observing carefully from the other side of the fire, Leia watched Ahsoka interact with everyone. While it was clear the woman cared deeply for them all, Luke and Ezra seemed to get extra attention. The girl found herself a bit annoyed by that, but didn’t understand why.

Over the last few days, it had become obvious that the group operated as one big family. Leia found the concept both strange and fascinating. Her mind had tried to place people into standard roles at first. Casting them as parents, siblings, spouses, children, or any other relationship she could think of to make it work. In the end, she had given up. None quite fit the mold. At the same time, they were clearly a family. It was all very different, but Leia found herself liking it. However, it was also uncomfortable, as if she didn’t quite belong.

She gazed at Ahsoka, once again noting the easy way she accepted the teasing and the engaging grin flashed so often. The woman must be in pain from her injuries, but didn’t show it. _She is… something._ Leia couldn’t find an appropriate descriptor. Her father had said special and that word worked as well as any other.

 _I want to belong._ The thought startled her, but she knew it was true. _I’m not sure if they want me, though._ Well, that wasn’t exactly accurate. Luke and Barriss wanted her. Ahsoka, though… _You’re being irrational. She did risk her life to rescue you. Of course, that was before you acted like a spoiled princess._

The story from Barriss had only increased Leia’s interest in getting to know her… _aunt?_ No matter how much she rolled it around, the word never came out smoothly in her head. In any case, Ahsoka had barely seemed to notice Leia existed over the last few days. The girl typically wouldn’t let that stop her from taking the initiative. However, the woman was always surrounded by people. It made it near impossible to have a normal conversation with her.

Suddenly, Ahsoka caught her eye and winked. Leia, pleased at the unexpected attention, flashed a small smile. The woman threw a bright grin back, before returning to the conversation.

The girl fixed her with a determined gaze. _I’ll get her attention, somehow._

_______

Leia finally got her chance, after half of the group departed a day outside of Alderaan. Kenobi, Rex, and her father were sitting around the fire chatting about past exploits, an enraptured Luke hanging on every word. Luminara and Asajj were catching dinner in the nearby stream, while Barriss was busily preparing to cook it upon their return. That left a lone Ahsoka propped against a nearby tree, apparently deep in thought.

The girl headed over slowly, unsure about disturbing her. Then, the woman’s gaze abruptly shifted to Leia with an engaging grin.

Approaching more confidently, Leia sat down next to her. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yes, my dear, thanks for asking. How are you doing? We really haven’t gotten to chat.”

Leia replied politely, “I’m fine, thank you. And, well, you had quite a few people who needed your attention.”

Ahsoka laughed. “I suppose that’s one way of putting it. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to spend time with you, as well.”

“Oh. Thanks.” The girl was pleased with the response, but uncertain about its intent.

The woman’s expression turned serious. “Leia, I know we didn’t get off to the best start, but I’d like to make it up to you. I mean, if you’ll let me.”

Leia stared at her. “You don’t have to make up for anything. I’m the one who acted childish. I wasn’t sure if you would want to…” she trailed off, dropping her eyes to the ground.

A gentle hand gripped her chin. “You're my niece, Leia. You may not want to be and that’s ok. I know you have a family already. However, I’d like it if we could be friends. Either way, I want to spend as much time with you as you can handle.”

Bringing disbelieving eyes up to the ones facing her, she saw nothing but earnest sincerity. Leia suddenly realized she had completely misunderstood. Ahsoka wasn’t upset or unsure about her. The woman had just been giving her space—space she thought Leia wanted. _Do I want it?_ Opting for honesty, she replied, “I’m not sure what I want. I do know I want to spend time with you, though.”

Tears sprung into the fierce blue eyes. Ahsoka released the hold on Leia’s chin and then brushed affectionate knuckles over her cheek. “That makes me very happy.”

Leia smiled brightly in response. _I have an… aunt._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this story was supposed to be a random one-off. I only intended to explore a bit of the rescue and recovery in Chapter 51 of WIAB from Leia's perspective. I wanted to tease out her slow acceptance of having a different family than the one she's known. We only see this from Ahsoka/Barriss POV in WIAB. The adopted kid meeting blood relatives and trying to reconcile it sort of thing. 
> 
> Trying to balance the various dichotomies was an interesting challenge. I wanted to show Leia as rational, determined, and confident, but also add a layer of insecurity and natural teenage angst that should also be there. Quite frankly, it was extremely difficult. She's not an easy character to write, since we only know her as the settled leader she becomes and not the inner workings beneath the calm, confident demeanor. It's much easier to write her from an outside perspective. Fortunately, this is when I say to myself "Gabby, this is an AU. Minor differences should be expected." Sometimes that makes me feel better. A little. :-) In any case, you may like it or not. I won't be offended, if you don't.
> 
> Anyhow, this story led me to the next story of her first promised visit to rebel HQ for training, which will be posted next. Then, I kind of went from there with other story ideas that are in different stages. What ended up spawning was a random set of stories that involved Leia. So, I decided to make it a work all it's own. And, here we are! Now, I'm wondering how I get the two Leia 'aftermath of Alderaan' stories out of the deleted scenes work and in here without messing everything up. They would fit in nicely. Hmm...


	2. Training for Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia arrives at Rebellion Headquarters for the promised visit to her newfound family. However, she's more interested in training than fun. Barriss and Luminara help her as they struggle to overcome their own ingrained training. Meanwhile, Ahsoka, Luke, and Obi-Wan practice being supportive. 
> 
> [POV: Various, primarily Barriss and Luminara]  
> [Leia: Age 15]  
> [Set between Chapters 51-52 of "Where I've Always Been"/during Chapter 10 of "True Failure"]

“You were eleven paces behind this time.” 

There was a frustrated exhale. “Alright, I'll keep working.”

Barriss shook her head. “No, my determined girl. You've been at this for hours. It's time for a break.” Since arriving for her first promised visit to them, Leia’s primary objective had been training. She learned quickly and was well on her way to mastery of several skills. However, this particular one took time. Something that was clearly frustrating the girl.

Leia glared at her. “I'm not giving up. I can do this.”

“I know you can,” she replied simply, “just not today.” _I’m so tired._ Barriss had made teaching the girl a priority. However, that meant she had also been staying up most nights to ensure her other duties were completed. On top of that, Ahsoka and Luke were frustrated at Leia spending significant amounts of time in practice, rather than with them. Which, in turn, made them irritable with Barriss. Trying to communicate the need for balance to the girl, though, was a skill she hadn’t mastered. _Probably, because you’ve never learned it yourself._

“I’ll never succeed, if you keep stopping me from trying!” Her face took on a red tinge, mahogany eyes flashing with defiance.

Sighing heavily, Barriss tried again. “Leia, I told you mentally keeping track of time would not be a skill you could learn quickly. Practicing for extended periods is counterproductive. It takes patience to master. I'm not stopping you from succeeding. I'm showing you how to succeed.”

There was a harrumph, but no other response.

 _Alright, that’s it. I don’t have the energy for this._ Barriss said flatly, “Fine. Keep at it, if you want. Let me know when you’re ready to listen to my advice again.” With that, she stalked back up the hill toward the base.

_______

Luminara halted her evening stroll around the grounds surrounding the rebel base. Young Leia was muttering to herself and walking back and forth in the grassy field below. The woman watched with interest. _What is she doing? Wait… yes, she is. And, she's failing._

She wasn’t sure if intervention would be welcome. Luminara didn’t know the girl very well. Their only significant interactions were in the days after her rescue from imprisonment, nearly six months ago. After watching the increasingly frustrated face, however, Luminara decided to try. _She's so much like Barriss._ Approaching quietly, she said, “Your stride is off by a half inch.”

Leia jumped violently and flipped around to face her. “Um, what?”

“You're trying to learn how to keep mental time. But, your stride is off.”

The girl stared at her. “How did you know that?”

“Who do you think taught Barriss how to do it?” she replied with a slight smile.

Sudden interest peaked in the intelligent, brown eyes. “You taught her?”

“Indeed. You may not recall that Barriss was my apprentice for many years. In any case, your stride is short at random intervals. That suggests you know the proper form, but aren't executing it. There are two possible reasons. You haven't practiced it enough, which I doubt, given the quality of the rest of your technique. The more likely reason is you are mentally exhausted. Surely, Barriss told you this is not a skill you can practice for extended periods and achieve success? In fact, doing so often causes setbacks.” Luminara raised a knowing eyebrow.

Leia's eyes widened and then dropped to the ground. “Perhaps.”

Chuckling lightly, Luminara said, “You remind me so much of Barriss.”

Eyes darted back up with surprise and a bit of hopefulness. “Really?”

“Yes, my dear. She once learned the same lesson. Though, between you and me, it took her much longer to admit it. I found her the next morning, still pacing in circles like a lost bantha.”

The girl grinned slightly. “Well, that makes me feel a little better, I suppose.”

Luminara smiled. “I'm glad. My point is that you have the same intensity, discipline, and determination—all admirable qualities. However, they can be counterproductive, when not tempered by reason. And, when you don't have the experience to know what is reasonable, you have to trust the people who do for guidance.”

There was a resigned sigh. “I know. I was just so frustrated that I couldn't get it. Plus, I wanted—I guess, I wanted her to be impressed.”

 _Oh, Barriss._ A pang of regret hit Luminara's heart. Meeting the girl’s eyes intently, Luminara said, “I'm sure she's very impressed with you.”

Leia looked at her doubtfully.

“Truly, Leia. I'm impressed you've managed to achieve the level you have in such a short period. And, believe me, I’m hard to impress. Why do you think Barriss was still trying the next morning?” _I’m so sorry, Barriss. I’ll do better this time around._

The girl smiled diffidently. “Thanks.” Then, her expression turned thoughtful. “How long did it take her to master this skill?”

“Oh no, my dear, you're not getting a comparison point. That will end in either crushing disappointment when you don't match it, or obsessive overdoing it in order to best her.”

There was a small chuckle in response. “I suppose.”

“Though, I will tell you this. Assuming you have been working on it since arriving two weeks ago, your progress is fairly equivalent to hers. As I said, impressive.”

The girl’s eyes shined brightly.

Trying to put as much warmth into her voice as possible, Luminara continued, “Come on, let's head back. You probably haven't eaten in hours—also, a counterproductive situation for properly learning. If you like, I'll help you practice tomorrow. Then, by the time you show Barriss your progress, she'll be appropriately impressed.” She lifted an impish eyebrow.

Leia produced a brilliant smile. “I'd like that.”

_______

Ahsoka strode into their bedroom, scanning the corners for her gauntlets. Then, she blew a frustrated breath through clenched teeth. _Barriss has put them away again. Somewhere._

Huffing to the closet, she halted upon rounding the bed. Barriss was sleeping on the settee at an odd angle, parchment rolls hanging limply from her outstretched hand. _Well, that’s not good._

Approaching quietly, Ahsoka knelt down and examined her. _Oh, Barriss._ Her eyes had dark circles under them. Despite being asleep, the woman’s body and face were tensed tightly. Ahsoka knew this condition very well. _How did I not realize this was happening? Because, you’ve been a complete child lately._ She had been so upset at Leia spending all her time with Barriss, she’d been practically avoiding her wife—afraid of accidentally redirecting ever increasing frustration toward her. _This is what happens when you’re a selfish idiot._

Running her fingers over Barriss’ forehead, she tried to massage away some of the tension. _I’m so sorry._

Tired eyes fluttered open with a confused murmur.

“Shhh… go back to sleep, my amazing wife.” Ahsoka slid her arms underneath the slender body, cradling it gently, and carried her to the bed.

As she tucked her in, Barriss began to stir. Swiftly crossing to the other side of the bed, Ahsoka laid down and put a restraining arm around her wife’s stomach. “Nope. It’s not morning yet, my dear.”

A head shifted groggily, eyelids fluctuating. “Mmm… k.” Barriss’ hand found the one around her, resting on top of it, as she fell back to sleep.

Ahsoka weaved their fingers together and whispered, “Sleep.” She curled her other hand around Barriss’ head and ran small circles in her forehead, watching the face relax into a vaguely content smile.

Exhaling with relief, Ahsoka nuzzled into Barriss’ neck, kissing it gently. “Don’t worry. I’m here now. Everything is going to be alright.” _I promise._

_______

“I'm sorry about yesterday. I know you were right. I just really wanted to get it.” The girl's voice was penitent.

Barriss looked up in surprise from her desk. “It's alright, Leia. I'm sorry I got frustrated. If it helps, I know how you feel. It was hard for me to accept as well, when I learned.”

Leia asked tentatively, “So, we're ok, then?”

 _Oh._ Rising from her seat, she crossed to the girl and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Of course. We were never not ok. Just because I get frustrated doesn't mean I don't care about you. Never, ever think that.”

A relieved voice replied, “Thanks.”

“If you like, I'll come help you once I get these communiques finished,” Barriss said with an encouraging smile.

“No, that's alright. You're busy and I just have to practice. There’s no need for you to watch me over and over again. I'll come get you when I'm ready for an evaluation.”

Barriss stared for a moment. Something about the reply seemed off. “You know I'm not upset, right?”

Leia nodded. “Don't worry, I know. I just want to surprise you.”

“Hmm… alright, if that's what you want. But, don't forget I'm here if you need some extra help.”

“Thanks, I won’t. And, I'll let you know how it goes!” the girl said quickly as she hurried out the door.

Barriss gazed after her. There was something strange going on.

_______

“Shouldn’t you do it for a longer distance or something?”

The women stared impassively at him.

“Oh, sorry, am I interrupting?” Luke grinned. “I _thought_ this was a learning session and all.”

Leia said in exasperation, “My learning session. You just decided to show up and critique from the sidelines.”

He replied airily, “Um, how can I learn if I don’t watch? Besides, I have nothing else to do as my sister is too busy pacing in circles to spend time with me.”

Her eyes rolled in annoyance. “I’m not here just for your amusement, you know. I’m trying to learn important skills!”

“You aren’t very good at the whole ‘having fun’ thing are you?” was the semi-frustrated reply.

Before the girl could respond, Luminara cut in, “Alright, let’s continue shall we? Leia, we’ll do a few more practice runs for today and then break, anyway. So, Luke, if you can manage to hold back your enthusiasm for a bit, I promise your sister will soon be available for fun.”

“Excellent. Because, I have a whole list,” he replied impishly.

Leia glared at him, but Luminara saw amused affection in her eyes.

Jumping to his feet, Luke continued excitedly, “Ok, I’m going to get something special ready, for after you’re done. I’ll be back to get you in…”

Luminara smiled. “Thirty minutes.”

“... thirty minutes.” The boy grinned and ran up the hill with barely concealed glee.

Leia glanced over with a wan smile. “I’m not sure I even want to know.”

Chuckling lightly, Luminara said, “He is right about one thing, though. You really should take some time to relax with the people you care about on occasion. Life goes by quickly. You don’t want to waste it.” _Like I did._

The girl gazed at her for a moment. “Speaking from personal experience?”

Surprised by the insight, Luminara replied slowly, “Yes, actually. I wasted a lot of time trying to be my flawed idea of perfect. Barriss suffered as a result. Now, we are… Well, it’s up to you, but just know that time with people you love is something you can never get back, my dear. So, try to have some… fun.”

Leia seemed contemplative. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

Luminara smiled warmly at her. “Good.” Then, she quirked an eyebrow. “However, tomorrow, I think we should find another place to practice.”

There was a small snort. “Definitely.”

_______

After three days of not seeing a Leia in need of direction, Barriss decided to take the initiative. Even at dinner, the girl was strangely recalcitrant when asked how practice was going. The lack of pestering was beginning to pass odd and move into the concerning stage.

As Barriss made her way down the hallway to head outside, she halted at the sound of voices from one of the unused rooms. _Who would be loitering in an empty storage area?_ Moving closer, she was startled to hear Leia say, “Do you really think she'll be impressed?”

Even more surprising was the voice that replied. Luminara said wryly, “Yes, Leia. As I've told you, I'm sure she already is. That said, your progress is amazing. So, yes, Barriss will definitely be impressed.”

“Thanks,” was the tentative reply, “I hope so.”

Barriss inhaled sharply. _She doesn't know I'm proud of her._

Luminara spoke again, “Alright, one more attempt today and then we break. Agreed?”

“Agreed. How much longer do you think until I'm good enough to show her?”

“You're already good enough, my dear. However, since you are determined to try to make her fall over with pride, let's do one more day of work on your stride. After that, we'll see where we are.”

Leia said excitedly, “Really? You think I'm that close?”

Luminara chuckled. “Yes, I do. I promise, Barriss will be the proudest aunt in the planet.”

Backing away from the room quietly, Barriss returned to her office. Conflicting emotions flooded her heart. _She doesn't know I'm proud of her. But, that means she cares what I think. Luminara is helping her. And, doing it so well._ Barriss could tell they had formed a good rapport and that made her surprisingly pleased, somewhat guilty, and strangely… sad. _Get it together, Barriss. It doesn't matter now. Tomorrow, you’re going to fix your mistakes. In fact, you're going to be the proudest aunt on the planet._

_______

When the time came, Barriss found she needn't have worried. She literally _was_ the proudest aunt on the planet. “Wow. I don't know what to say. That was incredible. Impressed doesn't even cover my feelings at this moment.” And, it was all true. The girl had a gift.

Leia beamed happily.

Barriss put a hand on her shoulder. “Truly, Leia. You are amazing. Though, I'm not surprised. I knew you'd be able to succeed.”

“Thanks,” the girl replied quietly.

Brushing her fingers across Leia’s cheek, Barriss said, “You are very special, my amazing niece. I hope you know that.”

Happy eyes gazed back at her and then petite arms suddenly wrapped around her chest. “So are you… A-aunt Barriss.”

Tears formed in Barriss’ eyes as she returned the hug. “In that case, what do you say we go find some of our other special people and beat them in a game of Yoda’s Gambit to celebrate?”

Leia leaned back and grinned. “Sounds like fun.” Then, she paused. “But, can I meet you in a few minutes? There’s something I need to do first.”

_______

“Now, tell the truth, you did not realize that squad was behind the door.”

Obi-Wan put his hand over his heart. “Ye of little faith! I totally knew they were there. I just wanted to test out my newly enhanced sword hilt in a real-life situation.”

Luminara quirked a highly doubtful eyebrow. “Is that why I had to save your life?”

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration. I would have survived. Maybe, without a leg or two, but still,” he replied innocently.

Not able to hold back a laugh, Luminara said, “In that case, next time, I’ll just let you get on with it.”

Leaning forward, Obi-Wan kissed her forehead. “Absolutely not. If that happened, how could I shower you with my undying gratitude, in every way I can think of, for the foreseeable future?”

Stroking his chin tenderly, she murmured, “Mmm… I’ll have to save your life more often, then.”

Obi-Wan pulled her into him, angling for a kiss, when there was a sound of footfalls at the sitting room door.

They both twisted around to see Leia running in with an excited face. She halted in place at seeing their positioning. “Oh, um, I’m sorry to interrupt.” Her face fell as she edged back toward the doorway.

Luminara quickly rose from the settee. “It’s alright, my dear. Don’t leave.” She turned to Obi-Wan and grinned. “Sorry, my love, we’ll have to continue this conversation later.”

He looked at her in mild surprise and a hint of disappointment, glancing between her and the nervous-looking girl at the door. Then, the corners of his mouth edged up. “I see where I stand.” Rising from his seat, Obi-Wan strolled toward the door, giving Leia a shrewd look. “Apparently, I have something I’ve forgotten to take care of elsewhere.”

Leia stared at him nervously, as if she wasn’t sure whether he was angry or not. “I’m sorry… I can—”

Obi-Wan interrupted with a smile, “Leia, I’m just joking. Don’t worry.”

Her shoulders slumped with relief. “Oh.”

He glanced back at Luminara, who gave him a look of reproach. Obi-Wan raised suspiciously amused eyebrows. “I’ll be… doing something, somewhere, if anyone is interested in finding me.” Then, he flashed an impish grin, before exiting the room.

Luminara snorted lightly and then smiled at Leia. “Well, my dear? Anything to report?”

Her earlier embarrassment evidently forgotten, the girl raced across the room, throwing her arms around Luminara. “It went even better than we thought.”

Feeling a rush of pleased contentment, Luminara returned the embrace warmly. “Excellent. I’m so very glad.”

Leia looked up at her earnestly. “Thank you… for everything.”

“No thanks needed. It was my pleasure.”

Pulling away, the girl said, “I have to go now. I promised Barriss we’d play a game with Ahsoka and Luke. But, I wanted to find you first.”

Luminara smiled softly. “I’m glad to hear you are going to reward yourself with some fun.” _Good work, Barriss._

“You could come too, if you want?”

Tempted at the idea of spending time with Barriss, Luminara considered. _No, this is time for them to bond, to make a better future. Not time for you to make up for your past mistakes._ Shaking her head, she replied, “No, my dear, you go have fun with your family. Besides, I probably will need to hunt down Obi-Wan, before he gets himself into trouble without me.”

Leia grinned. “Alright. Maybe, next time?”

Luminara met her eyes warmly. “Definitely.”

_______

“Hi there.”

Ahsoka glanced up from her desk and grinned. “Hey you. How did it go?”

Barriss smiled brightly. “Excellent. She was very happy.”

Rising from her seat, Ahsoka crossed the room and wrapped Barriss in a hug. “I always knew you could be the proudest aunt on the planet.”

Giving a small snort, Barriss raised an impish eyebrow. “Well, next time, you get to be the proudest aunt on the planet. This is a totally unfair workload, you know.”

“Hey, it wasn’t my idea.”

Barriss laughed. “I know. I do have some more good news for you. We are to meet Leia in the study for a game of Yoda’s Gambit.”

Ahsoka’s beautiful, blue eyes shined excitedly. “How did you manage that one?”

“I don’t know. I just suggested it and she said it sounded like fun. Not sure I’ve ever heard the word ‘fun’ uttered by the girl.”

“Oh, that must be Luminara’s influence,” Ahsoka said thoughtfully.

Barriss stared at her. “Um, I think you have my master confused with someone else.”

Chuckling, the woman replied, “No, I’m serious. Luke mentioned Leia had been spending more time with him lately. Apparently, Luminara told her she should have more fun with the people she loved. At least, that’s what Leia told him. So, I guess, she’s taken the advice to heart.”

 _Seriously? I’m in an alternate reality._ Barriss’ mind glazed over as she tried to reconcile those words with the woman she knew. _Or, thought I knew._

Arms tightened around her. “Barriss, you really should spend more time with Luminara. She actually can be quite fun. I mean have you ever heard her and Obi-Wan battle? Come on, now. Surely, you can’t be that surprised by this revelation?”

Barriss looked at Ahsoka in disbelief. “I-I don’t know. I am surprised. But, I guess you’re right. I suppose I’ve never thought about it…” _My master is not fun. Is she? Well, not with me she isn’t. What is that supposed to mean, Barriss?_

"I'm getting a little concerned." Ahsoka gazed into her eyes intently. “I thought you two were ok now?”

“We are,” was Barriss’ immediate reply. _Aren’t we?_

“Hmm… in that case, maybe you should drop by and thank her for helping Leia.”

Stiffening slightly at the idea, Barriss tried to keep her face impassive. “Yes, I probably should. You’re right.”

Grinning mischievously and kissing her forehead, Ahsoka said, “Yes, I am. Definitely right. Like, all the time. How come you don’t mention it more often?”

Barriss raised a snarky eyebrow. “Don’t overdo it, my darling wife.”

“Perish the thought!” Ahsoka laughed. “Now, shall we go have fun? Oh, don’t think I didn’t notice the game you suggested just happens to be the one you _always_ win.”

Smiling innocently, Barriss replied, “Well, I have worked hard over the past few weeks. I thought I deserved a reward.”

Ahsoka sent her eyes skyward, before grabbing Barriss’ hand and tucking it into her arm. “Come, my lady. I shall escort you to the fun forthwith.”

Waving a superior hand, Barriss declared in a haughty tone, “Excellent, my good warrior. Let us proceed to the fun zone.”

_______

Barriss hovered indecisively outside the room. Despite them both coming to terms with their past relationship and moving forward, Barriss still found herself strangely nervous spending time alone with her master. _It’s been nearly two years, Barriss. How long does it take to get over it? It’s not like she hasn’t been trying. And, apparently, she is fun._

Something, Barriss had no idea what, had been holding her back. So, she had just avoided thinking about it, simply dealing with things as they came. In this case, though, she was marching herself into whatever it was. _You can do this, Barriss. Get it together. You love her. She loves you. What’s the problem?_

Suddenly, the door jerked open and a surprised Obi-Wan stopped in his tracks. “Um, was this just perfect timing on my part or have you been standing outside our door in the desperate hope of catching sight of me?”

Fixing him with a playful glare, she replied, “Perhaps, I was trying to give you another chance to practice your smarmy, master of snark routine. I’m afraid there’s been little improvement.”

He grinned. “Either way, it clearly means you think I’m worth the effort. Not that I can blame you. I am kind of amazing.”

Barriss rolled her eyes. “Well, I’m sorry to crush your fragile sense of your own amazingness, but I’m actually here to see my master.”

A small laugh came from inside the room, followed by a triumphant voice, “Oh, this is potentially the best moment of my life.”

Obi-Wan glared at Barriss. “You are supposed to be on my side, you know.”

Barriss simply stared at him impassively, though she could feel the corners of her mouth edging up.

Giving an exaggerated sigh, Obi-Wan spoke in a put-upon voice, “I can see I’m being kicked out of the room once again! This is turning into a very bad habit, my dear, and I might not put up with it for much longer.”

A dry voice wafted from behind the door. “Um, I believe you were already exiting the premises, my melodramatic love. And, this is only the second time it’s happened. Ever. Calling it a habit is a bit of an overstatement.”

“How do you know? Maybe, I was just pretending to go, or maybe I would have suddenly realized I couldn’t possibly leave your luminous presence? And, twice in two days? You could at least space them out a little!”

There was a snort from the room in response.

 _Maybe, this wasn’t such a good idea after all._ Barriss found her anxiety level increasing exponentially as the conversation continued. “Nevermind, I can see I’m interrupting an ongoing battle. It’s not that important, anyway.”

Obi-Wan’s expression abruptly turned serious and he grabbed Barriss’ arm. “No, my darling girl, you aren’t interrupting. Go in.” He met her eyes encouragingly, adding quietly, “She’ll be happy to see you.”

Barriss gazed back at him. _She will? Of course, she will. You’re being stupid._ Giving a wan smile, she said, “Well, in that case, you’re going to have to move out of the way, I think.”

He grinned and squeezed her arm. Glancing back quickly, he seemed to give a supportive nod to Luminara and then headed down the hallway.

Her nerves pulsed as she walked into the room. _Why am I so anxious? Look at how well she did with Leia._ An unexpected sting of bitterness shot through her heart. _What was that? Are you seriously upset about her spending time with Leia? Oh. You are._ It had demonstrated what the woman was capable of being—a capability she had never shown for Barriss. _You weren’t worth it. No. That’s not true. Stop it!_

Luminara was curled up on the bed, fully dressed, with a parchment in her hands. She smiled warmly. “Hello, my dear, I’m happy you’re here. I feel like I haven’t talked to you in days. I’ve… missed you.”

Unexpected joy flooded her heart at the words. Then, she frowned at herself. _Really, Barriss? Your emotions are all over the place today. Just thank her for helping Leia and call it a day. How hard can this be?_

The woman gazed at her uncertainly. “Are you alright? Did I—are you upset with me for something?”

Shaking herself back into reality, she moved across the room, sitting down on the end of the bed and pulling her legs up to her chest. “No, of course not. I’m a bit distracted today, I suppose.”

Luminara seemed relieved and then looked at her curiously for a moment, but didn't comment. Instead, she shifted in the bed, so they were facing each other. “Well, what can I do for you?”

 _Just say it._ “I wanted to… thank you for helping Leia.”

The woman started, but then smiled slightly. “I knew you’d figure it out.”

“Don’t give me too much credit. It was luck. If you hadn’t been practicing in the storage area near my office, I likely would have been none the wiser,” Barriss replied with a self-deprecating grin.

“No,” Luminara stated intently, “it might have taken you longer, but you would have gotten there eventually. There is a reason you are the most amazing spy in the 47 kingdoms, as Ahsoka would say.”

Barriss stared at her, unable to formulate a response. Her heart filled with a strange, piercing happiness. It was a different kind of happiness than she had ever felt. But, she definitely liked it. And, that scared her.

Uncertain eyes darted nervously around the room as Luminara continued hesitantly, “Barriss, I know I haven’t told you how special you are very often, if at all. And, I intend to remedy that mistake. Because, you always were amazing.” The eyes swung back to hers. “I’ve always been so very, very proud of you.”

 _She’s just saying that to make up for everything. It can’t possibly be true._ “Thanks. You don’t have to—I mean, I know you feel bad about things, but don’t overdo it. I don’t want you to feel like you… Oh, nevermind.” Barriss couldn’t figure out a way to express what she meant.

Luminara's expression fluctuated. The emotions flickered too quickly to identify. All of a sudden, she moved to the end of the bed and gripped Barriss’ face firmly, locking their eyes. “You don’t understand, my amazing child. Everything I just said is the absolute truth. Now that I’m not afraid to say it, I doubt you will ever hear the end of it.” She flashed a small grin.

Holding her eyes, Barriss saw nothing but sincerity. _She means it._ Traitorous tears abruptly hit Barriss’ cheeks. “Oh.”

A gentle hand wiped them away. “Leia reminds me so much of you. Spending time with her the last few days made me realize how much I am still failing to give you, because of my own guilt. That will never happen again. Because now, I think I’m finally able to communicate what I’m feeling. But, if you ever doubt how I feel about you, just think of how proud you are of your family, how much you love them. Because, that is exactly how I have always felt about you. Even, if I was terrible at showing it.”

 _She's always been… proud of me._ Barriss gazed at her, the strange happiness spreading again. This time, though, it didn’t scare her. Leaning forward, she laid her head on Luminara’s chest and whispered happily, “Good.”

_______

“No way! Again?!” Luke cried, “This is so not fair.” He tossed his cards on the table in frustration.

Leia put on an innocent air. “I can’t help it if I’m better at this game than you.”

He scowled at her.

Ahsoka laughed. “Sorry, my amazing nephew, I think we’ll have to get used to it. It appears your aunt and sister have decided to gang up on us. This is _their_ choice of game, after all.”

Barriss quirked an eyebrow and glanced at Leia. “It appears our superior skills at this particular game are causing consternation. Perhaps, we should beat them at a different game instead?”

The girl could barely conceal a grin as she attempted to match Barriss’ impassive tone, “Yes, I do believe this may be a teaching opportunity.”

That got her two glares from the other side of the table.

A soft chuckle wafted across the room.

Heads twisted to see Luminara leaning against the entryway with a dryly amused expression. “Oh, don’t let me interrupt. I am anxiously awaiting the outcome of this discussion.”

Leia exclaimed, “You came this time! Are you going to play with us? We were just about to choose a new game, anyway.” She shot an impish look at Ahsoka and Luke.

Ahsoka’s eyes glinted. “Only if you plan to be on our team. Because, those two don’t need any expert help.”

“I don’t know that I…” Luminara trailed off uncertainly, glancing toward Barriss.

“Yes, please do.” Barriss smiled warmly.

Luminara gazed at her, something resembling happiness shining from the cerulean eye, before a wry grin formed. “Hmm, perhaps, I will help to even the odds. I do believe the next game should be…  Eye of the Rancor.”

Luke and Ahsoka perked up excitedly.

Barriss groaned. “That’s not evening the odds. That’s an entirely new playing field! It is only Ahsoka’s favorite game in the history of games.”

“Yeah, and you never let us play it!” Ahsoka retorted.

Leia glanced around in confusion. “What is Eye of the Rancor?”

Looking at her in distress, Barriss said, “It’s the worst game on the planet. You will hate it. Believe me.”

Luminara sat down at the table, fixing Barriss with a stern expression. “Don’t influence her, my dear. She can decide for herself whether she likes it or not.”

The woman stared at her master in disbelief. “You know she will hate it. It’s totally based on luck! There is no strategy at all!”

“That’s not true,” Ahsoka put in as she shuffled the deck, “it requires you to make decisions about what you want to risk where, in a quick and strategic manner.”

Luke nodded eagerly. “Yeah, you just have to know when to risk it all.”

“But, there is no way to predict when that time is!” Barriss replied with exasperation.

Luminara chuckled and turned to Leia. “It’s a game of intuition. You have to play almost on instinct and hope it leads you correctly.”

The girl’s face was beginning to resemble Barriss’. “Oh.”

“Leia, do you remember what I told you about listening to experience?” Luminara asked intently as Ahsoka started dealing the cards.

There was a wary nod in response.

“Playing a game you have already mastered is fun, of course. But, playing ones that go against your natural inclinations are what truly expand your skills. In this case, honing your ability to trust your instincts. Even losing becomes a learning experience. Besides,” Luminara added mischievously, “combining fun with training is always preferable.”

Determination slowly appeared in the girl’s eyes. “I’m so going to master this game.”

Luminara laughed and then glanced at Barriss, giving her a small wink.

The woman gazed back at her in astonishment. Then, Barriss raised a sardonic eyebrow. “That sounds like a challenge, Master.”

“Oh it was, my amazing girl, it was.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story started as me planning to write a small snippet about Leia learning to count mental time, as referenced in WIAB. Then, it turned into Luminara/Barriss relationship progression combined with Leia development. I really have no idea how these things happen. Their relationship was so troubled that I always assumed they struggled with it for years afterward. It wouldn't be a-ok after a couple of conversations. I've hinted at this in other works. However, I wanted to tackle it more directly here.
> 
> I also wanted to fold in both family dynamics from WIAB and TF into one story. i.e. melding Lumi/Obi as the semi-parental figures of Ahsoka/Barriss, who end up being semi-parental figures of Leia/Luke in WIAB. I love the 'found family' concept (in case you haven't noticed!). 
> 
> Finally, Leia's rational mind, determined nature, and greater good dedication leads her to prioritize work over family. (I think there is a good deal of evidence for this in SW canon.) So, I wanted to play with the idea of early influences on this mindset. In this world, she has mentors she respects, who themselves struggle with this and others she loves who value family over everything else. Given this, would she end up with a slightly different priority scheme? 
> 
> p.s. Wait until I get to my next thought exercise... if she was more balanced and less intensely committed to her work, would she have been the amazingly pivotal leader that she was?


	3. Coming of Age

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While visiting Alderaan, Luke finds his mettle tested as Leia faces a terrible new reality.
> 
> [Set directly before Chapter 52 of "Where I've Always Been"]  
> [POV: Luke]  
> [Leia/Luke: Age 17]

“Luke, find your sister. I want you both in the blast wall, now.”

“No,” Luke objected, “I can help—” Another explosion suddenly rocked the castle and they both leapt sideways as a rafter slammed to the ground beside them.

Bail grabbed his shoulders, eyes anchoring to Luke’s with intensity. “Please, your aunts need you to be safe. And, _I_ need you to keep Leia safe. Promise me.”

Warring emotions pinged chaotically around his mind. Then, Luke focused on the pleading expression of the man in front of him. A sense of determined purpose pushed the conflicting feelings aside. He met Bail’s eyes firmly. “I promise.”

The man slumped in relief and then smiled. “I knew I could count on you.”

“Father!” A steady yet worried call rang out.

They both flipped around as Leia came running in the door of the sitting room.

Bail gathered her in a tight embrace. “Go with your brother. No arguments. Now.”

She pulled back, opening her mouth to undoubtedly object, when Breha flew into the room.

The woman's concerned expression faded at seeing them. Then, it turned resolute. “Luke, Leia, into the blast wall immediately.”

The girl jerked from her father’s grasp. “No! I won’t leave you both here.”

Luke rushed over and gripped her arm. “Come on. Let’s go.”

Leia twisted around to stare at him in disbelief. “You want to run and hide?! I can’t believe I’m hearing this!”

Wincing at the accusation, he didn’t release his hold. “We have to go now. There’s no time.”

Bail took her other arm. They started guiding her toward the hidden portion of the wall that contained the small, reinforced compartment for emergencies.

Leia broke free of their grasp as they reached the blast wall. She spun on her parents, eyes glistening. “No. Please, don’t make me.”

Breha strode forward and gripped the girl's shoulders. “I’m sorry, my darling. This is the price of being a leader. You can’t have everything you want. We need you to survive. Alderaan needs you to survive.”

Leia gazed at her mother, bitter tears streaming down her face. She choked out, “What about you? Alderaan needs you, too,” her voice broke painfully, “and so do I.”

The Master General suddenly sprinted into the room. “My Lady, we’ve identified the enemy position, nearly thirty klicks away. I’ve dispatched troops, but it will take more time than we likely have to reach it. I recommend immediate evacuation of the castle. I can redirect soldiers from the city to assist.”

The Sovereign Master faced him calmly. “No, Wolffe. Work on evacuating the civilians in the city. Try to protect as many as you can.” She glanced at Bail, who nodded agreement. The woman continued, “We will go to the situation room and help coordinate efforts here. You take care of the surrounding areas.”

The man wavered reluctantly. “What about the princess?”

Breha shook her head. “We have a backup plan for her safety. I believe it will be more effective than trying to escape through the firestorm outside.”

Wolffe's expression lit up. “Can you also use this strategy?”

“No,” Bail answered, “it is limited to two people at most. Her cousin will accompany her.”

“Go now, General,” Breha interjected with authority. Then, her expression softened as she added, “Whatever happens, I thank you for your loyal and dedicated service to Alderaan. May the Force shine brightly upon you.”

Face tightening, Wolffe stood to attention and saluted. “And you, ma’am. It has been an honor.” Giving them a final, pained look, he purposefully strode from the room.

Luke turned to the wall and started steadily working the hidden compartment open.

Bail pulled his daughter into a tight hug. “You are very special, my princess. You have a greater destiny in the world. No matter what today brings, always remember we are so very proud of you. Not just the woman you already are, but also the person we know you will become.”

A quiet, tearful breath escaped Leia’s lips as she buried herself deeper into his embrace.

Breha wrapped her own arms around them both for a long moment, before whispering, “Bail, we have to go. We need to show the people we are still with them. They can not lose hope.”

The man nodded, wiping away a tear, and tore himself away from Leia. He glanced at Luke, repressed strain in his face. “Don’t forget. I’m counting on you.”

Pausing his efforts, Luke drew himself up to his full height as distant explosions thundered and dust fell like specks of rain from the ceiling. Locking their eyes, he tried to project confident resolve. “I won’t fail you.”

The distress in Bail’s face melted away, replaced by a calm certainty. “I know you won’t.” Then, he added, “If we don’t make it, tell Ahsoka… we have faith in her and she knows what to do now.” Taking his wife’s hand, they headed swiftly toward the hallway.

Pausing at the door, the couple looked back at Leia with encouraging smiles. Breha said softly, “We love you very much, my darling. Be strong.” Then, they were gone.

Finally managing to wrangle the opening wide enough for a person to slide into, Luke said, “Come on, you first. I’ll squeeze in behind you and close it up.”

Leia silently stared at the far end of the sitting room, where her parents had just disappeared.

He grabbed her hand. “Please, we need to go now.”

The girl suddenly jerked away from him. “No! I won’t!” She began to run.

Momentarily stunned, it took Luke a few seconds to react. By the time he started sprinting after her, Leia had already made it out the door.

As he reached the hallway, a violent blast seemed to shake the very foundations of the castle. Luke flew backwards into what remained of a sitting room wall, but rolled up quickly. His eyes burned with smoke and dust as he frantically scanned for his sister, finally spotting a flash of movement.

Stumbling over jagged rocks and splintered wood, dread looming larger with each step, Luke made his way down the hall. Reaching the prone figure, he released an unsteady breath.

Leia was lying on her back, bloody and battered. However, she was alive and struggling to raise herself up.

He crouched next to her, examining the damage through fuzzy vision. “Leia, are you alright?” There didn’t appear to be any life-threatening injuries, but there were small pieces of shrapnel lodged in her skin that must be painful.

She had managed to partially sit up, anxious eyes darting around the area. Her face seized with silent terror, fixated on something in front of her.

Luke spun around to follow her gaze, rubbing stinging eyes, and then let out a surprised gasp. In his half-blind state, he hadn’t noticed the extensiveness of the destruction. The entire set of rooms seemed to be gone. Stone supports and wooden beams haphazardly littered the ground. There were no walls, no structure, no… anything.

Another vibration shook the castle. The echoes of thudding debris refocused him and Luke began to twist back to his sister. He froze mid-turn as chilling shock rolled over him. Blinking rapidly, his spinning mind tried to process what it saw. There were two pairs of familiar legs protruding ominously from beneath huge pieces of stone ramparts.

Luke’s soul crashed with waves of intangible horror. A surreal hissing rushed through his ears leaving a deadly quiet in its wake, like the noise of leaves blown through a silent forest. Sucking in a choked breath, he gripped the stone flooring for support, unable to tear disbelieving eyes from what moments ago had been Bail and Breha Organa.

Then, a deafening crack pierced the terrible daze as nearby rafters collapsed. Jerking back to Leia, his heart spasmed. She was staring unblinkingly at her parents, small tremors running up her body.

Fierce determination filled him and he scooped her from the ground. Leaping over chunks of rocks and beams, Luke raced back to the still standing blast wall. More explosive concussions rumbled around them and he struggled to maintain his balance.

Luke decided to risk a few extra moments to examine the wall for structural flaws and damage. Hiding in an unstable space that might crumble on top of you would be, as his Aunt Barriss would say, an ineffective strategy. Reasonably satisfied it would hold, he carefully slid Leia in and then hopped into a crouched position beside her.

Crunching himself as much as possible to avoid the low ceiling, he gripped the handholds on the inside of the wall. Taking one last look at what had been, Luke whispered, “I won’t fail you. I swear.” Then, he sealed the compartment and stretched out next to his sister in the oppressive darkness.

Small shudders were cycling through Leia. Not knowing how to make it better, he simply wrapped supportive arms around her. A miserable, aching helplessness spread through him, until an image of his Aunt Ahsoka’s confident eyes blazed into existence. Tightening the embrace, Luke spoke with quiet surety, “Don’t forget. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed the top of her head gently. “It’s going to be alright. I promise.”

After a moment, there was a small release in the trembling body. Quiet, strangled sobs punctuated the confined space as Leia leaned into his chest.

Luke held her silently, while they both listened to the terrible death raining down around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is one I've wanted to do for quite a while. Ever since I wrote the aftermath in WIAB, I wanted to explore what it must have been like for Luke and Leia on the day Alderaan fell. I focused on Luke, as we got Leia's reaction in WIAB and elsewhere. I tried to hint in WIAB that he had stepped up, but never detailed it. 
> 
> I also liked the idea of this being a crucial moment for both of them--a turning point where they are forced into adulthood, so to speak. Despite being strong and capable already, Alderaan allows them to show who they have become and what they have learned. Leia gets this in Chapter 52 of WIAB, but since Ahsoka tends to over-protect Luke, we don't get to see a lot of the man he has become. Here, he has to take total responsibility and put everything he's learned together, in a sense. And, of course, he rises to the occasion.


	4. Survivors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of Alderaan, Ahsoka finds an old friend and Leia finds out about her heritage. 
> 
> [Previously posted in "Life Behind the Scenes"]  
> [POV: Ahsoka]  
> [Leia: Age 17]
> 
> Occurs directly following Chapter 52 in "Where I've Always Been". Draws on elements from that story and "Loyal Soldier". If you like, you can think of it as a chapter in the overall universe.
> 
> Spoilers for WIAB, not so much for LS. If you haven't read either, you may still enjoy it, but I really have no idea. Speaking of, if you haven't read the main line of stories that goes with all of these... um, why not? Part 1 awaits! :-)

“Princess!”

Both Ahsoka and Leia looked up at the call. Ahsoka grimaced. _Why would they mean you? You really have fallen into some kind of trauma-induced state._ Since arriving in the remnants of Alderaan, Ahsoka had been having more and more trouble banishing the images of Shili from her mind. The destruction invaded nearly every thought as she arranged logistics, moved supplies, and searched for survivors.

Leia glanced at her strangely, before turning gingerly toward the approaching man. The girl’s injuries were barely treated and must be painful, but she was doing a good job of not showing it.

_She should be in bed._ Ahsoka noted the supportive grip on the crates piled next to them, but decided to let it be. She knew what it was to feel helpless in the face of losing everything. _Too well._

Trying to banish the unbidden images from her mind, Ahsoka shifted her attention back to the map identifying the next set of search and rescue zones.

Then, the voice rang out again, “Princess—Commander Tano!”

She flipped around in shock, staring in disbelief at the man who had finally reached them. “Oh Gods—Echo? Is that you?”

He grinned excitedly. “It is you! I thought it was. I’m very glad you’re alive and well, Commander.”

Ahsoka shot forward, grabbing him in a tight hug. “I didn’t know you were here in Alderaan. I’m so happy to see you.” She felt tears forming in her eyes.

Echo returned the embrace, before pulling away to give her a brief salute. “I’ve been here since—well, since it happened. Most of us settled here. Didn’t Rex tell you?”

She nodded. It was a fact she had been trying to avoid remembering as she worked through the destruction. Ahsoka had visited Alderaan more than once, trying to find people she knew. Unfortunately, her well-known status as an enemy of Palpatine meant she couldn’t exactly announce her arrival. As a result, Ahsoka had only been able to surreptitiously locate a few survivors through the years. _They’ve lost their home again. And, once again, I could do nothing to stop it._

The man continued, “I served in the Alderaanian army for a while. I retired from service a couple of years ago, though.” He nodded toward Leia, following it up with a formal salute. “Princess Leia, I’m glad to see you survived, as well. It gives me hope for the future.”

Leia seemed entranced by the interaction between the two and gave a small jolt at being addressed, but recovered quickly. “Thank you, Echo was it? I appreciate your service to Alderaan and am happy you—” she paused, perhaps unsure how much she should reference both prior and recent events, “found a home here with us.”

Echo smiled sadly. “Thank you, Princess. It was a good home. Apparently, though, I’m not meant to keep one…” he trailed off, looking into the distant horizon.

Ahsoka put a hand on his shoulder. “I know, Echo. But, we are still in this together. We’ll survive again. We always survive. Because, we are Shili. And, Shili means strength. Seeing you makes me even more sure of it.”

His eyes refocused and he gave a confident nod. “Knowing you are with us makes me sure of it, as well, Princess.”

She smiled warmly at him. “Are there others from our battalion here? I’d like to see them again. When I visited, I could only find a handful.”

Echo shook his head sadly. “There were. But, I haven’t located anyone in the camp, so far. Is the Captain here, as well? I haven’t seen him in years.”

“Yes, Rex is in the city at the moment, helping to coordinate search and rescue teams. He should be back in a few hours and you two can catch up.”

He grinned with anticipation. “Excellent. Can I lend a hand in the efforts? I’d like to be useful.”

“Absolutely. In fact, I’ll put you in charge of the next rescue party. Your skills would be a great asset. Our teams are dedicated, but don’t have your kind of experience. If you’re sure?” She didn’t need to say the implied question.

Straightening to attention, Echo said firmly, “I’m positive, Commander. I can handle it. I’ll find survivors and get them back here safely. I give you my word as a soldier of Shili and a citizen of Alderaan.”

Ahsoka gripped his shoulder. “I expected no less. Get yourself some gear from the supply tent over there and report back here in twenty minutes for deployment.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He walked purposefully toward where Ahsoka had pointed with more confidence in his step than before.

She watched him go, pain and guilt filling her heart. Some people had more than their share of trauma and misery. Echo was one of those people. And, yet, here he was—still going, still believing, still serving. It made Ahsoka feel so lacking in comparison. _You can’t even rescue people without having a meltdown._ A petite hand suddenly wrapped around hers, jerking her back into reality.

Concerned young eyes gazed at her. “Are you alright?”

Ahsoka plastered a smile on her face. “Of course, my dear. Now, let’s figure out where to send Echo’s new team, shall we?”

Leia opened her mouth slightly to speak, but then seemed to change her mind.

_The girl just lost her entire world and now you’ve got her worried about you. Get it together._ Ahsoka squeezed her hand. “Truly, Leia, I’m fine. Let’s focus on getting as many of your people out of here as we can. Ok?”

There was a quick nod and they both turned back to the map.

_One day, Ahsoka, you will make this right for your people. Not today. But, one day... you will._

_______

“Alright, my tenacious niece, it’s time for you to rest. Your people are settled and nothing is going to need your attention for a while. Those wounds aren’t going to heal if you keep pushing them, you know.”

Leia grimaced in annoyance. “I’m fine. I can keep going.”

Ahsoka grinned engagingly. “Nope. Never gonna happen. If Barriss shows up in Chandrila and you aren’t in bed, do you know how much trouble I’ll be in?”

A reluctant smile crept up the sides of her face as Leia responded, “Um, that sounds like a personal problem to me.”

“Oh no, my dear. If I suffer, you will suffer. We’re in this together. Besides, you don’t want to send Barriss into overprotective mode. You will regret it. Believe me.”

That got a laugh from the girl, swiftly followed by a resigned sigh. “Alright, you win. But, only because you promised me free stories. You haven’t forgotten, I presume?”

_Unfortunately, I’ll never forget the story you want, my dear._ Producing an innocent expression, Ahsoka replied, “Did I say something about stories? Hmm… I can’t recall.”

Leia gave her a determined glare. “Well, maybe I can’t recall saying I would be in bed as you told them to me.”

Ahsoka laughed. “I suppose I could manage a story or two. On the other hand, I could just throw you over my shoulder and carry you to your room, if you prefer?”

“Don’t even think about it!” Leia exclaimed as she made her way expeditiously to the hallway.

_______

Adjusting her sitting position on the bed, Ahsoka glanced down at the girl laying beside her with a wan smile. “And, that’s pretty much it,” Ahsoka said, trying to keep her voice light.

The brief recitation of the destruction of Shili had taken a toll, though. The crushing weight that had been on Ahsoka’s heart since Alderaan seemed to be increasing, now almost suffocating in its intensity. Still, she had promised Leia the story. And, Ahsoka would tell the girl anything she wanted, if it would help her to cope. _Keep it together. You can do this._

Leia gazed up at her for a long moment. “Did you—do you blame yourself for it happening? Do you still feel… helpless?”

Ahsoka considered for a moment, finally opting for honesty. “Sometimes. I know, on some level, I couldn’t have done anything. It took a long time for me to accept that, actually. If it hadn’t been for Barriss, I might never have. Still, when it—sometimes, when I find a survivor or experience something like Alderaan, the feeling comes back. I try to think of ways I could have stopped it, but always end up back where I started. It’s not a very healthy exercise. I’m sure Barriss would slap me for it,” she said with a weak grin, “but, I can’t help it somehow.”

“So, this feeling will never go away?” Leia’s eyes were tearing up slightly.

Brushing gentle fingers over her cheek, Ahsoka replied earnestly, “Probably not completely, my dear. But, it will lessen. And, in some sense, you’ll get stronger from it. You just have to learn how to deal with it as it comes, I guess. I wish I could tell you differently. Then again, you’re stronger than I was. You also have a more rational disposition. So, for all I know, you will handle it better than I did.”

“I’m not sure about that. The way that man Echo looked at you… well, you must have been a very inspiring and strong leader. I mean, you are now, but you must have been then too.”

_Um, I think you have me confused with somebody else._ Ahsoka said wryly, “If you say so. I’ve never thought of myself as a leader, really. It’s not one of my skills. I was the most un-leadery princess you will probably ever encounter,” she grinned and continued more seriously, “but, you were born to it. I’ve never seen such leadership in the face of trauma as I saw from you the day Alderaan fell. I was so proud. Your parents would have been proud, as well. You, my girl, have a special gift.”

Leia smiled diffidently. “Thanks. I just tried to think of what my parents would do.”

“You had good role models, for sure. And, not just that, your mother—your birth mother, I mean—she was a true leader, as well. It’s in your blood.”

The girl’s face perked up with interest. “I never thought about the fact that you knew her. Which is silly, because of course you would. Who was she?”

Staring in disbelief, Ahsoka asked slowly, “You don’t know?” _How have we never talked about this? Because you didn’t want to, Ahsoka. You and your stupid guilt._ “I guess I assumed Bail or Breha had told you about her.”

Leia shook her head painfully. “No, we didn’t talk about that kind of stuff. I think they were trying to protect me. Even after I found out about you, they’d didn’t tell me much. And, I never asked. I suppose… I thought it didn’t matter or something. Now, I wish I had.”

Ahsoka considered how much to tell her. _No, I’m not making the same mistakes I did with Luke._ “Well, I’m happy to tell you anything you want to know. Her name was Padmé Amidala. She was a master negotiator and a royal herself, from Naboo. Padmé was brilliant, strong, determined, beautiful—a fighter and a leader. She was known as the voice of the voiceless. Your mother was… a magnificent woman.”

Leia gazed at her with rising excitement. “Wow. I’ve heard of her. She was in my history of the kingdoms lessons. And, isn’t there a famous statue of her in Naboo?”

“Yes. It’s a memorial to her from her people. She inspired many and was well-loved.”

“How—how did she die?”

Inhaling sharply, Ahsoka steadied herself. “Trying to save your father—your birth father, I mean.”

“Save him from what?” Leia asked quizzically.

Closing her eyes, Ahsoka replied softly, “From himself. I told you the Master General of Shili led the coup that resulted in its destruction, on orders of Palpatine.” She re-opened her eyes and looked at Leia intently. “Well, that Master General was… my brother, your father.”

Her deep, brown eyes filled with horror. “My—he destroyed his own home? K-k-killed his own people? Joined Palpatine?”

Not able to speak, Ahsoka only nodded, feeling repressed tears starting to overwhelm her control.

“How could—why would—what kind of person would do that?!” Her expression became more furious and repulsed by the moment. It clearly stated that such a man was not her father. Even if the actions themselves weren’t horrifying, any man who had helped the evil that had destroyed her world could never be any part of her.

Ahsoka didn’t blame her, but it wrenched her heart painfully. Things could have been different. They should have been different. But, they weren’t. _And, I can’t do anything about it now._ Placing a hand on the girl's cheek, Ahsoka choked back tears. “I-I don’t know, Leia. I wasn’t there. I… should have been, but I wasn’t. That’s the part I—I just know the man who was my brother, the man your mother loved, the man who was a legendary hero would have never done such a thing. So, all I can tell you is that I don’t understand, either. I’m… sorry.”

Leia sucked in a deep breath and shut her eyes, obviously trying to regain control of her anger and revulsion. Flipping her eyelids open, she raised a hand to Ahsoka’s and laid it on top. “It’s ok. It’s not your fault.”

_She is so strong._ Ahsoka twisted her fingers to interlock them with Leia’s, resting them again on her cheek. “I don’t know what to do with you, my dear. Why is it everytime I try to make you feel better, you end up making me feel better instead?”

The girl quickly replied, “That’s not true. You make me feel better, too.”

Ahsoka smiled, in spite of the pain. “You are so very special, like both of your mothers.”

“And… like my aunt.” She fixed Ahsoka with intense eyes.

Ahsoka’s heart swelled and she suddenly realized the terrible weight on it had lessened. Gazing warmly at her niece, she kissed her forehead. “Whatever you say, my amazing girl. I just know I feel better now than I have in weeks.”

Leia flashed a happy grin. “Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this to tie in the plot thread from LS that Shili survivors settled in Alderaan, since we all knew they would eventually lose their home again. And, we knew from WIAB that Ahsoka would be there to witness the aftermath... again. Echo was an obvious choice for a solider we would remember, who probably has his own story yet to be told. And, I always wanted to explore Leia finding out about her lineage, as well as Ahsoka keeping her promise to tell her about Shili. Lastly, I felt like Leia and Ahsoka didn't get enough bonding time in WIAB and I wanted to remedy that. Basically, I killed about five birds in one story, because I just don't know when to stop, ha.


	5. Here for a Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of Alderaan, Barriss and Leia have to find their own reasons to move forward.
> 
> [Previously posted in "Life Behind the Scenes"]  
> [Leia: Age 17]
> 
> A sequel of sorts to the previous chapter "Survivors". Occurs between Chapters 52-53 of "Where I've Always Been".

“Leia, you need to rest now.”

The girl exhaled in exasperation, immediately straightening from her supportive lean against the table. “Barriss, I’m fine. We are working here.”

Barriss simply stared impassively at her in silence. _You are fighting a losing battle, my girl. I’ve got years of experience in this arena._

Leia glanced at Ahsoka, clearly wanting help.

Ahsoka grimaced. “Sorry, my dear. You might as well give up now. It’s easier in the long run. Believe me, I know.”

Barriss held back a satisfied smile, keeping her focus on the girl in front of her. “Leia, I know you are invested in helping to combat this weapon. And, your help is important to the efforts. However, the more you rest, the faster you are back at full strength. The stronger you are, the more useful your help will be. And, I know you want to give all you can.”

The girl’s eyes wavered, but she replied firmly, “It’s more important for me to be available right now, as this is the area I can most assist.”

Giving an impressed smile, Barriss replied, “That’s why I haven’t pushed the issue, until now. At this point, we aren’t discussing anything of import and will likely conclude for the evening soon. That means this is the ideal time for you to retire, in order to continue contributing tomorrow.”

Mon Mothma observed the discussion with a barely perceptible smile playing around the edges of her mouth.

Intelligent, brown eyes flickered desperately as Leia tried to come up with a counter-argument. Then, there was a defeated sigh. “Fine. You win. But, if you end up discussing additional strategies, you better wake me up.” She fixed Barriss with a determined stare.

“Of course. Go on. I’ll come by after we finish. I want to check you over.”

Leia blew a frustrated hiss through her teeth as she walked out the door. If her legs hadn’t been injured, she probably would have delicately stomped. Still, her body language managed to convey the same message.

An impish grin formed on Ahsoka’s face. “You know, I can’t properly express the delight I get from seeing that happen to someone other than me.”

Barriss glared, but couldn’t help a small grin. “Well, like another princess I know, the girl is stubborn. Fortunately, she is a little more receptive to reason. Good news for my sanity.”

Mon chuckled lightly. “Young Leia is quite tenacious. I’ve been impressed with her resolve and strength in enduring such trauma. She also has a keen, analytical mind. Her contribution to our efforts will be considerable now and in the future.”

 _Yes, like her aunt, being strong is not her problem._ Barriss merely nodded tiredly. “Indeed.”

Ahsoka glanced at Barriss strangely, but turned back to the plans on the table. “Before we finish up, I want to return to the deployments in Coruscant…”

Barriss found it difficult to focus through the final hour of discussion on rebel team and operative assignments. _I must be more tired than I thought._

“Returning to our primary objective, are we still agreed that the best action for the moment is to continue with the plan to get the detailed schematics?” Ahsoka asked.

Mon nodded. “Yes, I think that is the most we can do right now. However, we should probably also discuss some supplemental strategies for the interim.”

Barriss chimed in, “Agreed. I think ascertaining location and working specific contacts may be indicated. We need to ensure there aren’t any immediate targets in danger. I never want to see another Alderaan.” _Or anything else._ The losses seemed to keep coming and Barriss was… tired.

“Alright, it is late and we all need rest, as Barriss pointed out to Leia. I also have some matters of state to attend to, before retiring. Let’s break for now and reconvene in the morning to detail out additional actions,” Mon said.

Nods of agreement were exchanged and the Sovereign Master exited the room.

Feeling suddenly overwhelmed by the last few weeks, Barriss leaned against the table. _I’m so tired._

Warm arms wrapped around her and Ahsoka said softly, “You need to rest, as well, you know.”

“As do you.” She leaned back, feathering her fingers over Ahsoka’s cheek. “I know Alderaan must have been difficult. Do you want to talk about it?”

Ahsoka smiled wanly. “I’m ok, actually. It was not great for a while. But, I talked to Leia about Shili and I’ve felt better since then. She insisted on hearing about it. I guess she wanted to know she wasn’t the only one or something. I don’t know. But, I couldn’t deny her the story. And, surprisingly, it helped me.”

 _Interesting._ Apparently, Ahsoka was willing to do just about anything for Leia. “And, did it help her, as well?” Barriss asked.

“I don’t know, honestly. She said it did, but I don’t see how. If anything, it would just remind her how terrible a place the world can be and how much the pain never dies.” Ahsoka’s expression took on a distant quality.

Quickly gripping her face, Barriss angled it to meet her eyes intently. “Still, maybe, just knowing her aunt understands helps.”

“Hmm… that might be true. Having you certainly helped me,” Ahsoka replied, running her lips over Barriss’ forehead.

“Good.” Barriss smiled and traced Ahsoka's warrior markings with her fingers, before finally dropping her hands to pull away. “In the meantime, I’ll check on her.”

Ahsoka tightened her arms. “Not until you tell me what’s wrong. You act like I’m the only one who tries to be strong. It’s not your job to take care of everyone, when you need to be taken care of yourself. I can see it in your eyes. You’re… hurting.”

Staring at her in surprise, Barriss contemplated the words. _Am I? How am I feeling?_ “I… don’t really—I know I’m tired. Maybe, I just need some rest.”

“No, it’s more than that.” She appraised Barriss thoughtfully. “I may not know what you’re feeling, but I do know when the woman I love is in pain. And, I’m definitely not going to let her exist there. So, think about it.”

Barriss responded slowly, “Alright, I’ll think about it.” Then, she brushed her lips over Ahsoka’s. “I love you.”

Shining blue eyes gazed back at her. “Good.”

_______

Finishing up her examination of Leia’s injuries, Barriss’ mind started to wander. _How am I feeling?_

A small voice interrupted her thoughts, “Is everything alright?”

Refocusing quickly, she looked down at a concerned face. “Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts a bit, but I’m fine.”

Leia gazed up at her. “I don’t think you are, actually. You are here but not here.”

Barriss stared at the girl. “I’m not sure what that means. But, really, I’m fine.”

An emphatic head shake accompanied the response. “No, you’re not. I don’t know how I know it, but I do. Please, tell me. Maybe, I can help.”

Pursing her lips, Barriss considered. The girl obviously was convinced. Denying it would likely result in Leia feeling overprotected or helpless. _I have too much experience dealing with that mindset. I guess I don’t have much of a choice, do I?_ “I’m not sure what’s wrong. I know I’m tired. You’re right that there’s something else going on, but I don’t really know what it is. I suppose I’ll figure it out at some point. I usually do.” She smiled wanly.

Leia seemed to contemplate for a moment. “Is it because all of this reminds you of Shili?”

“Maybe? I don’t know. That was a terrible day. But, it wasn’t my home. I was only there for Ahsoka. She is the one who lost everything. I had already lost everything.” Barriss was startled at her own words. _When did I lose everything? I never had anything in the first place. No, that’s not true. I always had Ahsoka. Until, I threw her away. Until, I failed the only mission that had ever truly mattered. Until… Cardota._ Gasping slightly, Barriss realized she did know. Her failure to stop Palpatine had come back once again. Alderaan was burning, just as Cardota had burned. And, her heart was so very tired of it all.

A hand grabbed hers. “You figured it out, didn’t you? Tell me about it. Please?”

Meeting her eyes, Barriss was shocked to see they held mild desperation. _Perhaps, she’s looking for a way to cope or needs to feel useful. Or… she wants to talk about something, but can’t figure out how._ Whatever it was, Barriss realized she couldn’t deny her. _Please, don’t let her hate me._ She responded tentatively, “Ok, my determined girl, I’ll tell you. It won’t be… a happy story. And, it might result in you feeling very disappointed in me. In fact, you may find you would rather I not be your aunt anymore. Are you sure you want to hear it?”

Pensive eyes gazed at her for a moment and then Leia said softly, “I don’t think anything you tell me would cause that to happen. Besides, I’ve just found out my—the man who should have been my father destroyed his entire world for Palpatine. Nothing you did could be worse than that.”

Barriss ran a hand over the girl’s cheek. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that on top of everything else. Maybe, I shouldn’t add my issues.”

The girl gripped the hand stroking her face. “No. Please tell me. I promise to try to understand whatever it is. I want to understand. I… need to understand something.”

 _I suppose she’d eventually hear about it anyway. I am the mad bomber of Cardota, after all. And, perhaps, hearing about my failure will help her one day._ Barriss sighed and moved to the chair next to the bed. _She might not want to be laying next to a murderer._ “Alright. Let me tell you about a young spy, who thought she had a mission. It was a mission to prevent death and destruction that only resulted in death and destruction—a mission that nearly destroyed her and the woman she loved. This is the story of Cardota, the story of failure.”

_______

“... and that was how Cardota fell and Palpatine rose.” Barriss looked at a distant point above the bed as the tears she couldn’t hold back seeped onto her face. “But, if you can listen to my advice after knowing all of this, I’d like you to remember that sometimes the most logical path isn’t the right path. The strategy with the highest success rate may not be the right one, if you don’t recognize the value of the individual in your equation. That was how I failed, by not realizing what true failure actually was.”

There was silence for a few moments. Then, Leia abruptly sat up in the bed, swinging her legs over the side to face her.

Turning her head back in surprise, Barriss expected to see disappointment or even disgust in her eyes. But, there was only concern. _She doesn't hate me._

The girl hesitated, before saying, “Aunt Barriss, it wasn't your fault. The deaths you caused were, I suppose. And, I can tell you're still living with that. But, I understand—especially, after what I’ve just experienced—the desperation involved. Ahsoka has obviously forgiven you. If the person who actually endured it doesn’t blame you, I definitely am not going to. Unlike… others, you were working toward the greater good, trying to prevent something much worse.”

Barriss gazed at her, trying to stem the unbidden tears. “I don’t think you should let me off the hook that easily. Still, I can’t say I’m not grateful for it. You are very, very special, Leia.”

A rare shy smile graced the girl’s face. “I don’t know about that, but I can tell you that you shouldn't take on the rest of it. If you couldn't succeed, then no one could. It was obviously a losing battle from the beginning. The fact that you tried at all, when you probably knew that, tells me who you really are.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Barriss replied wanly, “And, I do know I shouldn’t blame myself for all of it. That doesn’t change the fact that I might have succeeded if I'd done things differently. But, I didn't and Palpatine was never stopped. And, here we are. Sometimes, being reminded of that is a little much, I suppose.”

Leia made an exasperated sound and grabbed her hand. “No. You are still blaming yourself. Cardota was not your fault. Alderaan was not your fault. Palpatine is not your fault. Just like you told Ahsoka that Shili was not her fault.”

Barriss gazed at her thoughtfully for a moment. _Perhaps, that’s the most important lesson I can pass on._ She smiled slightly and said, “Just like it’s not your fault?”

The girl gave a start. “Fine, you’re right. It just feels like—I should have done something more. I don’t know what. Maybe, saved someone or been more involved in the rebellion… something.”

 _Hmm… seems like a stretch, my girl. That’s not the source of your guilt._ “Yes, the idea of what might have been is the worst part.” She squeezed the hand holding hers. “But, it didn’t happen that way and we can’t go back. Sometimes that hurts. In the end, all we can do is work toward a better future, where it doesn’t happen again.” Barriss looked at her shrewdly. “You already know this, though. You’re already doing it.”

Leia averted her eyes. “I guess. I probably couldn’t have done anything to stop it, anyway. Someone else might have been able to, though.”

 _Ah. There it is._ Barriss said softly, “Leia, I hope you know that you are here for a reason.”

Leia’s eyes shot back to her, tears forming behind them. She hesitated, before blurting out, “But, what reason? Why me? Why am I still here, when everyone else is gone?”

 _Finally._ Barriss slid forward and brushed Leia’s cheek lightly. “I used to ask myself that question. It’s strange, really. Despite the terrible things I’ve done, I always seem to live, while good people die. In Cardota, I tried to make it happen differently. I intended to die, so that others could live. But, it didn’t happen that way. And, as I said, we can’t go back.”

A broken voice whispered, “Well, I’m glad you’re still here.”

Placing both hands the girl’s face, Barriss shifted it to look directly into her eyes. “And, I’m glad you’re still here. Because, you see, I eventually figured out that I survived for a reason. I was needed. Not for a rebellion—others could have filled that role. No, I was needed by specific people. People who are truly and uniquely needed in this world, like Ahsoka. More importantly, I was needed by those who will continue making the world better after I leave it.”

Barriss rubbed reassuring thumbs over the girl’s cheeks as she continued,  “People like _you._ One day, you might be telling this to another you. And, _that_ is why I’m still here. Only you can decide your reason and that might take a while to figure out. But, for me, the fact that you still exist gives me the strength I need to keep going. Because, you are my reason.”

Misty eyes stared into hers and then Leia suddenly leaned forward into Barriss’ chest.

Wrapping her in a warm embrace, Barriss said firmly, “I promise, though, you won’t be here alone.”

Small, quiet sobs came from the girl in her arms.

Holding her tightly, Barriss felt a surge of strength in her soul and some of the tiredness fall away. _This is why I’m here._ Kissing Leia’s head, she added softly, “Always remember, my darling girl, losing everything _never_ means everything is lost.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this as a direct follow-up to "Survivors". Ahsoka and Leia bonding over past/current events leads to Barriss and Leia doing the same. Both stories give us development for Ahsoka, Barriss, and Leia, which I always like to happen. Both help Leia process the grief she would suppress and not deal with under normal circumstances--perhaps, sending her down a slightly different path of development than the canon-SW universe. 
> 
> Also, Ahsoka instilling the concept that the world is a complicated place, i.e. choices are not always black or white, allows for Leia's more nuanced acceptance of Barriss' past (which may not be Leia's natural inclination). Of course, it also helps that Barriss and Leia already have a strong relationship. In any case, Ahsoka paves the way for Barriss to hit clean-up, so to speak. 
> 
> Plus, the idea of sharing failure as part of the teaching process is interesting. [Side note: I have a complicated relationship with "The Last Jedi", but that idea is one I found kind of cool.] In any case, hopefully you enjoyed them both! I enjoyed exploring the concepts, anyway. Whether that means you liked it or not, I have no idea!


	6. The Form We Take: Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few weeks after Alderaan, Leia faces a set of new challenges, one of which may cost her life. Ahsoka struggles to help and discovers a remnant of her past in the process. Meanwhile, a young soldier grapples with her legacy and her future. 
> 
> "The form we take in this world is merely a reflection of who we truly are."  
> \--Gabby makes up famous-sounding quotes that could be real ones for all she knows
> 
> Set a few weeks after chapter 52 (destruction of Alderaan) in “Where I’ve Always Been”  
> [POV: Various, primarily Leia & Ahsoka]  
> [Leia: Age 17]

“Brilliant plan, as always, my dear. Though, I think we’ll have to be at the base to make it work. We need to distribute assets, redeploy several teams, and brief new assignments.”

“Agreed,” Barriss replied, taking a sip from a steaming mug of tea, “it’s too complicated to do by messenger and the communication channels have been spotty in the aftermath of Alderaan. That gives us four days to get home, if we want to keep the timeline. I’d prefer three. How long until Mon’s operation is concluded?”

“End of tomorrow, at most,” Ahsoka said, “for the final target. Shouldn’t be a problem. If it comes down to it, though, we can split up.”

Leia’s chest tightened. They were leaving. _Of course, they are._ They’d already been in Chandrila for more than three weeks and there was a rebellion to organize. Still, the idea was causing unexpected anxiety. _It’s not like you’ll never see them again._

“Leia, are you alright?” Barriss asked in concern.

 _Get it together. You're seventeen, not a child._ “Yes, I’m fine,” she managed, grateful her voice came out evenly.

The woman looked like she was going to follow up, when they were interrupted by a royal attendant.

The man halted respectfully at the guest quarters doorway that lead into the shared sitting room. Bowing deeply to Barriss, he said in a clipped, formal tone, “The Sovereign Master has requested your presence in her royal chambers, m’lady.”

Raising a surprised eyebrow, Barriss replied, “Very well. Please, inform her I will come at once.”

He bowed again and exited their quarters.

Barriss stared at the door for a moment with an odd expression. Shaking herself, the woman shrugged at them. “I guess I’ll be back in a bit.” Then, she walked out, the strange look still on her face.

“What could Mon want with just Barriss?” Ahsoka murmured.

Leia tried to focus on the question, but found it difficult. She stared into the sitting room fire, ordering herself back to sanity. _You run mercy missions by yourself. Your parents were away often. You’ve been on your own before. You are trained to function alone._ It wasn’t working. If anything, the anxiety was intensifying. _You’ll be fine, the same as always. Are you sure about that? Of course, I am. Shut up._

Strong hands gripped her shoulders and Leia looked up in surprise.

Deep concern shined from Ahsoka’s eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine,” she rushed out quickly.

The hands tightened. “No. You’re not. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Leia tried a small smile. “Really, I’m fine. I think I’m just tired.”

There was a knowing sigh. “Don’t bother, my dear. You are trying to be strong. You’re good at it, but I can spot it a mile away. Do you know why? Because, this is exactly how I look when I do it.”

As she gazed into her aunt’s supportive face, the resolve began breaking down. “I-I can’t—I don’t want…”

Arms wrapped around her, pulling her close. “It’s alright, Leia. You don’t need to be strong for me. We’re family. That means you don’t have to deal with things on your own.”

 _That’s not true._ Leia jerked back angrily. “Then, why are you leaving me?”

Ahsoka gaped at her. “What?”

Regretting the outburst, she slammed her eyes shut, trying to quiet the emotions. Hands gripped her shoulders again, but Leia was afraid to do anything about it, for fear of losing what little control she had retained.

“Leia, talk to me. I don’t understand. What do you mean leaving you?”

“Nevermind, it’s fine.”

“No,” Ahsoka said anxiously, “it’s not. You meant what you said. I just don’t understand why you think we are. _Please,_ explain it to me. I can’t fix it, if I don’t know what’s going on.”

 _Maybe, I misunderstood?_ She slowly opened her eyes to see a desperate-looking Ahsoka. Taking a calming breath, Leia said, “You said you were going back to rebel headquarters.”

Ahsoka’s expression changed to open confusion. “Why did that make you think we were leaving you?”

Leia stared at her, now feeling just as confused. “Um, because I’m here in Chandrila?”

The woman’s face fluctuated, until understanding seemed to flash. “Oh Gods. Leia, you are coming with us. I thought you knew that. You think we could ever leave you somewhere we were not? That will never happen.”

“What?” Leia asked in consternation. “You want me to come live at the rebel base? But, my people are here—some of them, anyway. Besides, I don’t really belong there. I’m not a warrior or a spy or even a communications expert.” _I’m not really anything, now._

The grip on her shoulders tightened and fierce, blue eyes drilled into hers. “You belong with us. It doesn’t matter if it’s a rebel base or the underside of a sarlacc pit. Where we are, you are. That’s what family means. You can visit your people—not just those here—whenever you want. In fact, you’ll be better able to help them from a central location with rebel resources. But, when you come home, it will be to us. Do you understand?”

Leia rolled the idea through her mind. It made logical sense. She wanted to help the rebellion. In fact, she had gone straight into doing so in the weeks since Alderaan. _Why does it matter where I do it?_ It also made her heart swell with strange relief to not be alone. Her brother, her aunts, other people she cared about would be at the base. Yet, something inside her still resisted calling it home. It didn't fit. _I can go there. But, it’s not where I belong. I don’t belong in Chandrila, either. I don’t really belong anywhere._

“Oh,” Ahsoka said softly, “I should have remembered how long it took me…” Her eyes glazed over, pain swirling through them.

Concerned, Leia lifted a hand to the woman’s cheek, trying to bring her back to the present.

Ahsoka swiftly refocused. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to drift off. I just had forgotten. When you lose everything, it’s hard to find a new place to belong—a place that feels like home. You are a bit lost yourself. I knew I didn’t want to be alone, but that was it. Eventually, I realized that home wasn’t a specific place. Home is with the people you love. And, that was where I belonged.”

 _Home isn’t a place._ The words somehow seemed wrong. Still, there was no place. She was a princess without a kingdom. _Who am I now?_ There was no foundation to build on. _Home is with the people you love._ That one felt better. _But, not all the people I love are there. They’re not anywhere. They don’t exist anymore. Maybe, neither do I._

Evidently anticipating her reaction, Ahsoka added, “Reconciling who you were with who you are now is difficult. Especially, if you spend your whole life believing you are one thing and then find that thing no longer exists.” Her aunt continued regretfully, “I’ve not only scared you into thinking we were leaving you, but also assumed you were ready for something it took me a very long time to understand. I am so sorry, Leia.”

She replied slowly, “I just—I can’t process it or something.”

“It’s alright.” Ahsoka kissed the top of her head gently. “Think about it. It gnaws at you, if you ignore it. Coming with us or not won't make it better. But, if you feel like you need to stay here while you work things out, just tell us. We’ll try to arrange for one of us to stay with you most of the time or figure something else out. No matter what, you’re never going to be alone. Ok?”

Leia gazed at her aunt, small tears slipping out. She grabbed Ahsoka, resting against the woman’s chest. “Thanks.”

Warm arms wrapped around her. “Don’t worry. Everything is going to be al—” Ahsoka jerked away, eyes alert and body tensed. “Something’s wrong. Stay here.” Before Leia could get a word out, the woman was out the door.

The girl stared after her in shocked confusion. _What was that?_ Ahsoka had said to stay, but Leia wasn’t about to follow that order if her family was in danger. She quickly tried to locate the short sword Ahsoka had given her. _I thought I left it by the parchments? Gods, you’re turning into Luke. You only took it off an hour ago! Maybe, it’s with my cape?_

A smooth voice said, “It’s about time. Your glorious entourage are a bit slow on the uptake.”

Leia spun around to see the attendant from earlier hovering in the sitting room door, small crossbow pointed at her. _Wonderful._ She ran a swift, assessing gaze over him. The man was mid-twenties, solidly-built, with gray-flecked, hazel eyes. _Nervous eyes, relaxed body._ His wavy, ash brown hair was stylishly coiffed around his face, ending mid-neck. _Pride in his appearance. Not the close-crop of a soldier._ He looked human and had a tanned, rugged complexion. _Spent most of his life in the elements. Does what is necessary to get by?_ Fixing him with a regal glare, Leia asked haughtily, “What do you want?”

He continued conversationally, “Kinda obvious, isn't it? Speaking of, I would have thought a royal summons of a princess’ lady-in-waiting would have spiked more suspicion. It took an unreasonable amount of time for your bodyguard to follow-up. Guess you can’t find good help these days.”

The unusually-small crossbow remained steady in his hand, finger gripping the trigger. _Practiced confidence._ The weapon was clearly custom-designed for portability and quick action with a multiple bolt spinner for rapid reload. He’d be able to fire quickly at the expense of power and range. _Not usually a killer._ It was a weapon built to evade, rather than assassinate. “Perhaps, your plan just wasn’t that good?” Leia maintained an impassive expression, while her mind worked through options.

The man smirked. “You've got nerves of steel, Princess, I’ll give you that.”

Obviously, he had no idea who Ahsoka and Barriss were and had mistaken them for members of her court. That meant he hadn’t been listening to their conversation. _Not a spy or intelligence agent._ Expounding his plan also spoke to a lack of expertise. _An amateur._ His commandeered attendant clothing was ill-fitting on his six-foot frame. _If I hadn’t been going into a panic attack earlier, I might have noticed it. I bet that’s what confused Barriss._ “Who are you?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” was the casual reply. “Come on, your worship, time to go. I’ve arranged for an accident to befall your loyal, if charmingly clueless, entourage. Not life-threatening, of course, but I’d hate to be here when they return.”

Leia considered. _Direct assault._ She was fast, but not faster than his trigger finger _. Stall._ He couldn’t have incapacitated both Ahsoka and Barriss. It would take an extremely skilled agent to accomplish that, if it was possible at all. No, they had likely escaped whatever he’d arranged and were heading toward Mon Mothma’s chambers, expecting her to be the target. _If she’s not there, it will take even longer for them to figure out what’s going on._

 _Refuse to move._ If the man intended to assassinate her, he would have already done it. There was another purpose or a need to kill her elsewhere. However, despite his surface demeanor, she could tell he was anxious. That made him potentially unpredictable if refused. It also meant she would likely get a better opening later. _Stall and cooperate._ “If you insist,” Leia replied calmly. “Do you mind if I get my cape? If we’re going outside, I might get cold.”

The man raised eyebrows of disbelief. “Let me get this straight. I’m standing here, threatening you with a crossbow, and you’re worried about getting cold?”

“Well, I do so dislike being chilly,” she said in a superior voice.

His mouth twisted in disdain. “Of course, you do. Princesses must have everything to their liking at all times.”

 _Hmm, regal authority is not the way to go with this one._ Shrugging, Leia remarked, “It never hurts to ask for what you want. What’s the worst thing that can happen? I don’t know if it has anything to do with being a princess. So, can I get my cape?”

Once again, that got her a disbelieving stare. Then, his face turned hard. “Let’s go.”

She gazed at his determined eyes for a moment. It seemed her line had run out. “Very well. Would you like me in front or beside you?”

There was a frustrated growl. “You’re stalling, Princess. I’m not an idiot. Get out of the room now.” His crossbow jerked toward the doorway behind him to emphasize the point, finger tightening on the trigger. He stepped back, staying out of arm’s length, weapon still trained on her.

 _Here we go._ She strolled in a slow, regal step across the room. Leia paused at the door, looking into his eyes fiercely. “It’s your funeral.” Then, she walked out.

_______

“Alright, Princess, we’re passing through the court entrance. I’ve got a crossbow under this ridiculous cape you make these attendants wear and it’s pointed straight at you. Don’t try anything cute.”

Leia had been trying to draw him into conversation for their entire egress with no success. Once they entered the main city, it would be extremely difficult for anyone to track them. She sorted through strategies, Barriss’ training filtering through her mind. _Antagonize, pull back, keep your opponent off-kilter._ “I’m not sure anyone has ever described me as cute. I would thank you, but since you have me under threat of death, it seems inappropriate.”

This time she got a response. “Oh, you’re definitely cute. However, I’m not sure you will find that of benefit in this situation.”

She threw a grin back to him. “Still, it’s nice to know.”

“Let’s go,” he replied with annoyance.

Leia sighed in defeat and moved in a slow, graceful gait through the area. She gave overly regal nods to each of the soldiers saluting her, trying to spike their curiosity to no avail. The woman even gazed into the eyes of one directly as she floated by him, a faux pas for a royal of any kind. That got her a flicker of surprise, before the face returned to impassivity. _Seriously? I’m so telling Mon Mothma to train more independent-thinking soldiers._

Finally, they exited the castle into the main square.

“Keep moving,” the voice said.

She did as instructed, until they reached the back gates. Trying to same technique as earlier, Leia fixed one of the gatekeepers with an intent stare during the acknowledgement. This time, the soldier raised her eyebrows and shifted forward hesitantly. _Finally. I’m going to recommend this one for a promotion._

Her kidnapper crossed between them, ostensibly to escort his royal, and pressed the crossbow into her side. He said formally, “M’lady, no need to bother the gatekeepers for assistance. I’m happy to accompany you into the city.”

Leia gave him a tight smile. “Thank you, Ferdinand. You are too kind.” The look of utter irritation on his face almost made the failure worth it.

The observant guard saluted, but Leia noticed her unusual gray eyes watching them carefully. Then, the soldier suddenly called out, “Do you require any assistance, my lady?”

Before Leia could respond, a gruff looking officer emerged from the guardhouse and ordered, “Shan, back to your post.” He turned toward Leia. “My apologies for the disruption, my lady.”

The crossbow tightened as her kidnapper gave a friendly smile. “Please, think nothing of it. It is a great comfort to know such dedicated soldiers protect us. Keep up the good work, Lieutenant.” Then, he guided her out of the gates.

“Very smooth, Ferdinand.” Leia snorted. “It is a great comfort? Lucky for you that lieutenant was a complete imbecile.”

He bit out a short growl and resumed his position behind her. “You’re lucky to have survived your little game. My trigger finger gets itchy when I’m talking to soldiers. Now, keep moving.”

After another couple of minutes, they crossed into the city proper. She halted and faced him. “Alright. We’re safely outside of the castle. Now, would you like to tell me what you want?”

His mouth gaped open. “You may be the most annoying princess on the planet. Keep moving. I’ll tell you when to stop.”

This was the point of no return. After this, she would be on her own. Yet, Leia had an illogical feeling that she should obey the instruction. There wasn’t enough data to calculate the odds, but she suspected going with him would not win. Her aunts’ voices started pounding in her head. _Remember the individual in your equation. Trust your instincts._

Leia commented wryly, “Do you find this approach works with most women?”

He stared back at her, but his eyes held a hint of humor. “You’ll have to let me know. Now, move.”

 _Trust yourself._ She raised a disappointed eyebrow. “You could at least make an effort. I much prefer to be kidnapped by charming gentlemen.” Leia noted the flash of annoyance that crossed his face with some satisfaction as she flipped around to continue walking. _I hope I didn’t just make the last mistake of my life._

_______

“Where are you going, soldier?”

Shan turned back to her lieutenant. “If you’re not going to report this, sir, I am.”

He gaped and then his expression hardened. “Back into position, now.”

Her fellow soldiers were staring in disbelieving horror, but she maintained a determined gaze. “Are you going to report the incident?”

Face flushing, indignant anger surged into his tone. “There was _no_ incident. Last chance, Shan. Return to your post, or there will be consequences. And, believe me, you won’t like them.”

Her friend Dak was shaking a frantically warning head.

The woman wavered for a moment as potential outcomes flooded her mind. _Reprimand? Demotion from the royal guards? Thirty days? They wouldn’t kick me out of the army altogether, right?_ Her chest tightened at the final thought. _I don't want to lose my home again._

Then, she remembered the intense eyes that had locked on hers. _I'm not keeping it at the expense of who I am._ Gritting teeth, she said firmly, “If you won’t do your duty, I will do it for you.” With that, Shan took off running into the castle, before anyone could stop her.

TO BE CONTINUED...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remind me to tell you sometime about how this one-shot turned in a four-part 'miniseries'. 
> 
> In any case, I wanted to explore the idea of Leia settling into a new life, beyond the initial trauma (as seen in Chapter 4/5). We don't get much of that in canon, except maybe in a comic. The struggle between who she was vs. who she is now was an interesting dynamic that mirrored Ahsoka's. Plus, the related theme of finding a place to belong is one I like to weave throughout my stories. I'm sure people struggled with this under the reign of Palpatine and dealt with it in different ways. 
> 
> I also liked the idea of an inner monologue illustrating Leia's analytical mind and the skills she's learned in this world, whether from her parents or from Ahsoka/Barriss. Even her realizing she doesn't want to be alone and accepting support is I think an impact of still having family in this world.
> 
> [Random thought: Canon Leia must have felt off-kilter after being Princess of Alderaan, watching it get blown away, and slipping straight into a new rebellion role. Rogue One seemed to indicate she wasn't a known figure in the rebellion. Aren't there any other competent leaders around there? Why does everyone start taking commands from this random princess with no rank that only a handful of people know? End of off-topic rambling.] 
> 
> Um, any other questions? Chapter 2 coming soon!


	7. The Form We Take: Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahsoka searches, while Leia tries to rescue herself.

Ahsoka slammed both fists into the guard room wall, feeling satisfying pain shoot through her knuckles.  _ Why did you leave her? _ The helplessness was threatening again. Unclenching her hands, she tried to calm the raging emotions.  _ I can’t help Leia by beating random walls. _

She had finished searching the situation room and surrounding areas to no avail. Her mind sorted through next steps.  _ The city, perhaps? _ It was unlikely someone could have kidnapped a royal and exited the castle without notice. However, Ahsoka was useless here. The castle guard were better equipped to handle the search. And, if Leia had been taken into the city, the trail would only become more difficult as time passed.

Barriss ran in the door. “No sign of her in the royal apartments at all. They’re expanding to—Ahsoka, what did you do to the wall?”

The woman glanced up and grimaced at the cracked dents in the stone work. “Um, slight accident. But, all good now.”

There was a sigh, but no further comment. Barriss was likely too worried about Leia to even attempt to chastise Ahsoka for her temper. “Mon and the captain of the guard are on their way. Unfortunately, we don’t know if she’s still in the castle. Or, why she left the guest quarters in the first place.”

"I know why," Ahsoka whispered, “I felt the danger. I thought it was you. I left her unprotected. She was the target all along.”

“No, you were right about me. I was busy avoiding a collapsing wall. It just happened to be a distraction. Please, don’t blame yourself.” Barriss grabbed her hand and then noticed the knuckles. “Oh Gods, Ahsoka, you’re bleeding.”

The woman removed her hand and wiped the blood away absently. “Doesn’t matter.”

Mon Mothma entered the room, Captain Waxer on her heels. “We have the castle guard spreading to the surrounding wings.”

Ahsoka lifted her head. “I’m going to search the city. I can’t do any more good here. If she’s outside, they are getting further away.”

Mon nodded. “Would you like an accompanying squad?”

“No,” she replied, “I’ll move faster on my own. If I get a potential location, I’ll send for help to search the area.” Ahsoka strode toward the hallway, glancing back at Barriss with what she hoped was an encouraging expression. “It’ll be alright.”

Her wife met her eyes steadily. “I know it will.”

Feeling a surge of confidence, Ahsoka smiled. “I’ll be back soon.” She moved swiftly into the hallway, trying to decide where to start. There were five gated exits to the city, but none of the garrisons had reported anything suspicious.  _ It’s like a looking for a needle in lothgrass. _

Suddenly, someone careened around the corner, crashing into Ahsoka with force. The unexpected arrival tumbled to the ground as Ahsoka took a hard step backwards. 

A soldier jumped up, russet-colored strands of hair springing from a messy plait on the back of her head. Attempting to shift around the obstacle of Ahsoka, she rushed out, “Sorry, need to get to the captain—”

“Shan!” An enraged lieutenant came sprinting into view, but halted at seeing someone else in the corridor.

The young woman winced, intelligent eyes darting around, looking for an escape strategy. Her body tensed, muscles winding up for a fight.

Ahsoka instinctively put a hand on her shoulder and gripped it. “Wait.” 

There was a flash of surprise, either at the strength of the hold or that it came from an unknown occupant of the royal apartments. The soldier relaxed slightly and nodded.

A vague sense of familiarity hit Ahsoka as slate-gray eyes looked back at her.  _ Strange. _

The lieutenant clearly had no idea who Ahsoka was, but must have decided her presence in the area required respect. “Apologies for the intrusion, ma’am. This wayward soldier is under my authority and a bit headstrong. Please, disregard any confusing and incorrect information she may have communicated.”

The woman shifted impatiently, tempted to bypass the entire situation, until she saw the intense desperation in the soldier’s face. Holding up a hand, Ahsoka switched focus back to her, asking calmly, “What is this about?”

Shan blurted out, “I think someone has been kidnapped out the back gates. I had never seen her before, but she was clearly important. They came from the royal court entrance. I mean, I don’t know for sure what was happening, but I saw her eyes. She did not want to go with that attendant.” Glaring at her lieutenant, the woman ended defiantly, “I know it.”

Ahsoka froze.  _ They used the court exit.  _ That explained the lack of sightings. The guards there were trained not to report comings and goings of royal household members. They would be unlikely to volunteer information, unless addressed by the Sovereign.  _ Someone had a great deal of intel on the inner workings of the castle. _

The lieutenant smirked condescendingly. “As I said, ma'am, she’s a bit confused.” He stepped forward, grabbing the soldier’s arm to pull her away. “If you will excuse us, I promise this incident will not go unpunished.”

“Oh, you’re right about that,” Ahsoka bit out. Coiling her body, she delivered a powerful uppercut to the man’s chin, knocking him backwards.

There was a yelp as he hit the stone floor, metal armor clanging and reverberating down the corridor. Wheezing painfully, the lieutenant stared up at her in shock.

Ahsoka immediately pressed a knee to his chest, holding him in place.

Shan gasped. “Woah.”

There were sounds of people running out of the guard room behind her and then Barriss’ concerned voice said, “Um, Ahsoka…” 

Ignoring them, Ahsoka focused her entire attention on the man pinned to the floor. “Leia Organa, Princess of Alderaan, has just been kidnapped from this very castle.” Fury began to seep into her voice as she continued, “Are you telling me that without this soldier—the one you intended to punish for doing her job—we would never have known about this incident? Or, their actual egress point?”

His face fluctuated strangely and then settled into panic. “I—well, how was I supposed to know?”

A restraining hand touched her arm and Ahsoka took a steadying breath. Dragging the lieutenant to his feet, she handed him off to Barriss. “You should question him. I can’t believe anyone is this clueless.”

The Sovereign Master fixed the man with a hard gaze. “Indeed, we will.” She glanced at Waxer, who quickly beckoned nearby guards.

Struggling in the grasp of his fellow soldiers, he blurted out, “Wait! I didn’t know! The royal attendant said it was just a romantic rendezvous. Her guardians had forbidden the girl to see some man she loved in the city. She wanted to have a night out without anyone knowing. All I had to do was ensure no one reported her leaving. That was all, I swear!” 

Waxer loomed over the blubbering man with authoritative menace. “And, he gave you nothing in return for this good deed?”

The lieutenant's face melted into a pile of terrified defiance. “No! I mean, he told me she’d put in a good word for me with the promotion council. But, that wasn’t why I did it. I was just trying to help.”

The captain’s expression twisted into disgust. “Oh, I’ll put in a word, but you won’t like it.” He jerked his hand. “Take him away.”

The man slumped as they dragged him along the corridor to the dungeon. 

Waxer straightened to attention. “I offer my deepest apologies for the shameful actions of a warrior under my command, Sovereign. I assure you, I will—”

The woman raised a hand. “Captain, you can not control the actions of everyone. Your service and training is exemplary. There is always an exception to even the most well-run operation. Think no more of it. Besides, you have also produced soldiers who will risk everything to do their duty.” She waved toward Shan.

The young soldier straightened to attention, obviously trying not to let her pleasure show.

_ Ok, enough apologies. We need to find Leia. _ Ahsoka broke in, “Apparently, they used the royal court exit and left through the back gates. That’s where I’ll start. I suggest redirecting squads to the surrounding area, as well.” 

Mon Mothma nodded agreement. “I think we should interview the other gatekeepers, as well. Though, Barriss’ description should suffice, if it happened as we suspect.” She turned toward Shan. “Was the princess escorted by an attendant?”

The soldier straightened further still at being addressed by her Sovereign. “Yes, my lady. It seemed to me that she did not wish to accompany him. I was going to stop them, but I was unsure and my commanding officer did not agree with my assessment.” Her face fell. “I’m sorry. I should have done it anyway.”

Mon shook her head. “You did well. Defying the chain of command to report something vague and unsubstantiated took courage. Shan, isn’t it?”

The soldier couldn’t hide the surprise. “You know my name?”

The edges of Mon’s mouth curved up slightly. “Of course. I try to learn the names of those responsible for the safety of my household, especially any that show great promise.”

Shan’s eyes glinted with pleasure. Then, her expression shifted into the impassive, respectful stare of a royal guard. “It is an honor to serve you and Chandrila, my lady.”

Waxer looked on with approval at the exchange. “Any other orders, Sovereign?”

Mon turned to Ahsoka. “What else can we do to assist? Do you still wish to search the city alone? I’m happy to offer any of the castle guard to aid you.”

The woman considered. “I think that’s all we can do for now. As for assistance…” The familiar feeling clicked.  _ Shan? Could be. _ She examined the young woman still standing at attention.  _ Mid-twenties and the eyes… yes. _ Nodding in satisfaction, Ahsoka said, “Shan, you’re with me. We have a princess to find.” 

_______

“Sit.” 

Leia surveyed the dimly lit, grimy room and the sturdy, wooden chair placed in the middle of it. Sitting would likely mean being restrained, severely limiting her options.  _ Antagonize, pull back, wait for a mistake. _ She turned with a superior air. “I don’t think so. I’m wearing white. Do you know how impossible it will be to get the stains out of this dress?”

She had expected disdain or an angry retort, but he simply stared at her for a moment. Then, a sly grin formed. “Well, you could always take it off, if you prefer.”

Her mouth gaped open at the unexpected response.

He smiled with satisfaction. “Ah, finally. I’ve managed to get a genuine reaction. I should have tried my roguishly-charming scoundrel approach, earlier.”

Slamming her mouth shut, she glared at him. “I happen to prefer nice men.”

“Oh no, Princess, I think you need more scoundrels in your life,” he replied devilishly. Then, his expression hardened. “Now, sit.”

“No.”

Giving a frustrated growl, the man strode forward and grabbed her arm, pulling her toward the seat. As he did, his crossbow angled away from Leia.

_ Finally. _ Flipping around, she slammed an elbow down on his wrist. The crossbow clattered to floor, spinning away.  _ Figures. _ Adjusting her strategy, Leia delivered a quick jab to the face and the other hand loosened its grip. Twisting free, the young woman followed up with a knee to the groin and then stepped back, sending a final roundhouse kick to his ribs. 

Her kidnapper fell to the ground with a painfully surprised curse and Leia sprinted out the door as fast as her legs would carry her.

_______

“Are you under the impression that lying to us is a smart idea?” Ahsoka asked menacingly.

The Ithorian gulped and raised defensive hands. “I haven’t seen anyone.”

A gentle voice interjected, “The girl we’re searching for is a survivor of Alderaan. Don’t you think she’s been through enough?”

The street seller shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah, heard about that. Terrible stuff.”

Shan replied intently, “You know what it’s like to lose your home.” The voice was empathetic and genuine.

Ahsoka glanced at Shan in surprise, but remained silent.  _ Let her try. You can always bust heads if it goes nowhere.  _

“You’re right,” the Ithorian responded with a grimace, “I do.” He met Shan’s eyes. “Is this girl really in danger?”

The soldier nodded. “Yes. She’s been kidnapped. We’re trying to rescue her, not arrest her.”

He gazed at her for a long moment and then seemed to come to a decision. “What I said was true. I haven’t seen anything. But, my last customer mentioned seeing a girl running down a street from a royal attendant. He assumed it was part of some larger crackdown. Wanted a discount for warning me. So, I don’t know if it’s accurate or the same girl.”

“Which street? Where?” Ahsoka asked anxiously.

“Next street over.” He pointed to his left. “Heading south toward a pretty disreputable part of the city. I hope you find her soon.”

Shan gripped his arm gratefully. “Thank you.”

“Let’s go,” Ahsoka snapped, giving a nod to the seller, and began sprinting the indicated direction. 

She heard the young soldier on her heels and smiled in spite of the piercing anxiety. Shan had been keeping Ahsoka's frantic pace extremely well. There was a clear determination to prove herself, as well as a strong sense of duty. The empathy with the seller simply confirmed Ahsoka’s suspicions.  _ It’s got to be. _

_______

_ I have no idea where I am. _ Her kidnapper had weaved through the streets to such a degree, Leia hadn’t been able to keep track of all the turns. Given her limited knowledge of Chandrila’s main city, she simply kept moving toward the distant castle on the horizon.

Suddenly, she came to a dead-end, rundown buildings blocking forward progress. Glancing around desperately, Leia saw no one. She tried several doors, but they were all locked. Even if she had the tools, it would take too long to disable the locking mechanisms. 

Spotting an alleyway, the girl ducked into it. Her shoulders slumped. It also led to nowhere. Pacing along the narrow, dirt path, she thought frantically. Backtracking seemed to be the wisest choice. However, Leia wasn’t sure where her unusual kidnapper was at the moment. She could be walking directly into his hands. Still, staying here merely prolonged the inevitable. Sudden inspiration struck.  _ I’ll climb and work my way across.  _

Quickly moving along the buildings, she looked for handholds. 

A cold voice came from behind her, “Well, what do we have here? A fancy lady in need of a hero, I think.”

Spinning around, Leia saw a hulking trio of Devaronians standing menacingly behind her, swords drawn. “No, thank you. I do not require assistance.”

“Now, that’s no way to speak to your fine rescuers.”

“I don’t have any money. So, you might as well move along,” Leia said calmly.

The lead Devaronian moved forward, speaking in a low tone, “Oh no, my lady. That’s not what we want. What we want, you’ve got plenty to give.”

_ No. No. No. _ Leia glanced around for ideas, feeling panic well up. _ Stay calm. Distract. Fight. Run. _ She met his eyes defiantly. “One of us will die, before that happens.”

He gave a short, harsh laugh. “You’ve got spirit. I’m going to enjoy this.”

Another voice rang out from the end of the alleyway. “I don’t think so, Labria. That’s my property you’re threatening.”

Leia jerked her head around the group to see her rescuer was also her kidnapper. Still, the sight of him resulted in intense relief. 

The lead ruffian flipped around with a grim smile. “Han Solo. I thought you were still cowering behind a bantha somewhere.”

The man called Solo replied lightly, “I was, but the bantha poodoo reminded me of you. It was just too much.”

“I’m going to enjoy this,” Labria snarled. “I believe Jabba is still paying a hefty bounty for your worthless carcass. Fortunately for me, he doesn’t care if you’re dead when I deliver it.”

Leia could see Solo steel himself as he edged closer to the group.  _ He doesn’t think he’s going to win, but doing it anyway. I must be worth a lot. _ There was little chance of escaping both groups. And, if she had to choose, Leia was definitely going with the single captor she had already escaped, who likely wouldn’t harm her.  _ At least, not personally. _ She caught Solo’s eye and nodded meaningfully. 

The man raised his eyebrows, but flashed a small grin. Strolling nonchalantly toward them, crossbow at the ready, he asked, “So, any preferences on which one of you dies first?”

Glancing at his compatriots, Labria produced an evil, toothy smile. “Kill him.” As they made their move, Leia launched off her back leg into a hook kick, knocking the lead Devaronian to his knees. The other two spun around in confusion at the unexpected assault at their backs. 

Solo jumped into action, immediately taking one out with multiple bolts from his crossbow. 

Labria’s hand shot out and grabbed Leia’s ankle, pulling her forcefully to the dusty ground. She twisted her body sharply, breaking his grip and started spinning away on her hands. But, her opponent rotated on one knee and slammed a rock-hard fist into the side of her head. 

Her vision spun wildly, temple exploding with pain. Gritting her teeth, Leia leapt up and kicked backwards. He stopped his fall forward on his hands. She immediately delivered a powerful downward elbow to his bent head and Labria collapsed in an unconscious heap.  _ How does that feel, you ugly sithspit? _

Swaying unstably, she surveyed the area defensively. All three Devaronians were now out of commission. 

Solo turned around with a triumphant grin. 

The adrenaline drained out of her and Leia felt herself falling. Her last thought was that his grin was strangely endearing. 

_______

Ahsoka crushed a knee into the Devaronian’s chest. “I’m sorry. I didn’t hear what you said. How exactly were you planning on assisting this lost girl?”

Fury blazed from his beady eyes. “I’ve told you everything I know. Now, get off me.”

Shan watched in fascination. Not just anyone could get answers from a Devaronian, much less a clearly murderous one. This was a special warrior.  _ If she is a warrior. _

Ahsoka’s face seemed to be tightly controlled, as if she was keeping her temper in check. She finally released him and then delivered a direct punch to his head, knocking him out cold.

“Remind me to never get on your bad side,” Shan commented wryly. She felt a strange connection to this unusual woman.  _ Who is she?  _

Unclenching her fists, Ahsoka released a deep breath. “Ok, so what do we know? She escaped, was trapped, and apparently rescued by her kidnapper, but not before being injured in the resulting fight. So, this Solo is likely carrying her back to a safehouse of some kind.”

_ The girl’s definitely a survivor. _ A vague echo of pain surfaced. The princess had lost her home and Shan was determined to give her a chance to find a new one.  _ I did. She can too. _ “Would she have stayed on the same street after escaping?”

“Unlikely. Leia is smart and well trained in evasion. Her first instinct would be to confuse pursuers and distance herself from danger. Since she’s unfamiliar with the city, her strategy would likely be to weave randomly, while keeping the castle in view.”

_ This is one capable princess. _ “Alright,” Shan replied thoughtfully, “how about we backtrack to the original sighting near the street seller and then reason out potential paths from there? Perhaps, someone saw her earlier?”

The woman gave an impressed smile. “You are quite good at this.”

Shan felt an unexpected rush of pride at the compliment. The soldier grinned impishly. “It’s a gift, what can I say?”

Ahsoka laughed. “Alright, let’s go, oh gifted one.” 

_______

Leia sat up, only to immediately be jerked back onto whatever she was laying on. Groggily shifting, she realized two things. One was that moving her head was not a good idea. The second was that she was tied to a plank bed. 

She released a frustrated exhale. Her escape attempt had only resulted in being more a prisoner than before. Now, Leia had a throbbing head on top of it.  _ Well, things could be worse. Not sure how, though.  _

“Ah, you’ve arisen. Good. I knew you were too contrary a princess to stay unconscious for long.”

“If I had known you would be waiting for me, Ferdinand, I would have slept a little longer,” she retorted. 

There was a snort. “I’m almost beginning to like you.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Leia asked in annoyance, while subtly testing the strength of her bonds. They were well done. She was unlikely to loosen them with her limited knowledge of knots and restraints. It had been lower on Leia's list of training requirements.  _ Because, why would I ever need that? _ She almost laughed bitterly.

“Nope. Just thought I’d make conversation, while we wait.”

She stopped her movements and turned her head sharply to look at him, feeling a wave of pain behind it. Despite the sickening spin, Leia tried to maintain an impassive expression. “Wait for what?”

His face was partially shadowed, but there was an odd expression on it. “My employer.”

Of course, he was a contractor for someone—someone who wanted her. Who and why was unknown, though Leia had a creeping suspicion that she was trying to ignore. “And, who’s that? Another gallant scoundrel?”

He snorted. “Not quite. He makes those thugs in the alleyway look like baby Jedi.”

_ You somehow expected a nice person had you kidnapped? _ Her reply was a flat, “Great.” 

Leia laid her head back on the hard, wooden planks and closed her eyes. She should be planning a strategy. However, the energy just wasn’t there. Her last card was played and this seemed to be the end of the line, for the moment.  _ How good are your instincts now, Leia?  _

Besides, her head ached terribly and she was so very tired—tired of everything.  _ I want to go home. _ The thought startled her.  _ What does that mean? I don’t have a home to go to anymore. Do I? _

Images flowed and ebbed. Her father trying not to laugh, as she told a trade council they were unreasonable. Her mother with a patient smile, teaching her how to analyze crop rotations. Her brother grinning impishly, saying it was time to have fun. Barriss’ expression of pride, as Leia successfully infiltrated the rebel base. Ahsoka holding her tightly, saying everything would be alright.  _ Home is not a place. It’s with the people you love. Glad I finally figured that out, now that I’m never going to see it again.  _ A small, unbidden tear rolled down her cheek. 

A rough hand wiped the tear away, accompanied by a gruff voice, “Come on, don’t cry, Princess. I already feel bad enough.”

She opened her eyes to see guilty ones hovering over her. “Why are you doing this?”

His expression turned awkward. “I had no choice. I’m sorry.”

Leia was silent. 

He rushed out, “I don’t kidnap people for a living or anything. I’m a smuggler, normally. This was a one-time job to… pay off a debt.”

“There aren’t other ways to pay off debts?” she asked intently.

“Not this one. It was either this or die. And, I kind of prefer to stay alive.”

“So, you’re trading my life for yours?”

Hazel eyes shifted uncomfortably. “I suppose I am, but hopefully not. They specifically said you had to be unharmed. I guess they’ll be ransoming you back to Mon Mothma or something.” 

“Did they give you the detailed information on the castle and my location?”

He nodded with a confused look. “Yeah, why?”

Leia sighed, finally accepting the truth. “The method, timing, and intel—using a lone, unknown smuggler for the job—it’s too convoluted for a simple ransom. It smacks of Palpatine. And, if he’s involved… well, let’s just say you won’t be seeing me again. There is probably some special plan for my destruction. I suppose he wants to finish what he started in Alderaan. I’m all that’s left…” her voice trailed off sadly.  _ Or, he knows who I really am.  _ The thought should have scared her, but it didn’t.  _ I’m so tired.  _

The man stared at her strangely, but didn’t respond.

The excruciating pain in her head intensified, sapping the small amount of energy Leia had left. “I guess it doesn’t really matter now. I’ve done what I can.” Her eyes met his. “Do something good with the life you’re getting back, Han Solo.” With that, Leia fell into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this started out as a single story of Leia being kidnapped and figuring out her changed life. Then, Han Solo involved himself, as he usually does. Then, the plot became complicated and I wanted to explain some stuff. Of course, then I felt the need to show Ahsoka doing something, as she would. Out of the blue, my brain decided to explore this random soldier who happened to notice Leia. Then, she got her own storyline and an identity in the universe, based on a random name drop from Rex in Loyal Soldier. I'm going to stop now as, by this point, it should be fairly obvious my once short story had turned massive. Now, you have four chapters of it to look forward to. You're welcome. Or not.


	8. The Form We Take: Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han decides the present. Ahsoka confronts the past. Shan questions the future. Leia just wants to sleep.

“Solo! Where are you going with my prize?” 

A half-conscious Leia tried to focus through the terrible throbbing.  _ Where am I? _ There was warm light hitting her eyelids.  _ I’m outside.  _ Awareness sharpening slightly, she realized unknown arms were cradling her.  _ It must be him. _ Trying to maintain consciousness, Leia listened intently.

Arms tightened around her. “Nowhere. I just got bored waiting around,” Solo replied casually, but his muscles were tensed. 

There was an uncomfortable silence and then the new voice became menacingly quiet. “I hope you weren’t planning on going back on our deal.”

“Who me? I’m no hero.” She could tell the statement was accompanied by a charming grin.

There was a cold chuckle. “Oh, I know that. But, you  _ are _ an opportunist.”

Leia felt the man’s chest compress, but the tone of his reply only reflected calm indifference. “You are offering the only opportunity I care about at the moment.” 

“I suppose that’s true.” The man bit out a harsh laugh. “Oh, you’ll appreciate this. Your little friend is still awaiting a rescue from Jabba. I didn’t have the heart to tell him you would pay off your debt and run. I’m not that cruel. Plus, reasoning with a Wookie never gets you anywhere.”

Han stiffened, fists clenching around her. Then, the muscles released and there was a shrug. “People love me, what can I say? Oh, and just so we’re clear, I was moving to my backup location across the street. Don’t go around ruining my reputation with tales of the smuggler who doesn’t keep his bargains. I get a little nervous in one place for too long is all.”

_ He’s lying. _ Leia could feel a heart beating erratically in his chest.

There was a snort. “Figures. You always were a nervy little two-bit smuggler. That’s what got you into trouble in the first place, wasn’t it?” 

“Hey,” Solo cried with wounded pride, “even  _ I _ get searched in inspection lines sometimes.”

“Jabba didn’t agree. Now, deliver the cargo to my associates here and let’s settle up.”

Han hesitated for a split second and then his body seemed to slump in defeat. There was a near inaudible whisper, “I’m sorry, Princess.” They moved forward as Solo remarked lightly, “You got it.” 

Her body was passed into less gentle hands and there were sounds of grinding metal. Then, Leia was roughly thrown into some kind of confined space. Head exploding, she lost grip on reality once more.

_______

As they left the latest in a long line of dead ends, Shan commented, “This is ridiculous. How many girls in white can be running around this city?”

_ Too many. _ Pushing down her frustration, Ahsoka tried to reply lightly, “Apparently, more than we want. Though, I have to say, a sixty-year old gran wearing nothing but a cream-colored shift never entered my mind as a possibility.”

Shan snorted, glancing around. “I think people are on to us. They seem to have disappeared.”

Ahsoka chuckled and then started jogging down the road, scanning for new victims.

Her companion matched her pace. After a few moments, there was an abrupt question. “Who are you?”

Glancing over, she raised impish eyebrows. “Um, I’m Ahsoka?”

There was an exasperated breath. “What I mean is you don’t… make sense. You're staying in the royal apartments, but not a visiting dignitary. You don’t appear to have any obvious status or rank. The Sovereign clearly respects you and let's you give orders to her guards. You fight like a warrior, look like a warrior, but have no insignia. Plus, you have skills well beyond any warrior I’ve met. And, you obviously care deeply for this princess. Maybe, the better question is—what are you exactly?”

“Well, that’s quite a mouthful,” Ahsoka responded in surprise, “I suppose the answer depends on who you ask.”

Shan shot her an annoyed look. “If you don’t want to say, just tell me.”

“It isn’t that I don’t want to, it’s complicated is all.” Slowing her gait slightly, she continued, “You’re right that I’m a warrior. More than that, I’m a defender—someone who fights for people who can’t fight for themselves. So, I learn whatever skills are necessary to do that. How I go about being who I am is your true question. Unfortunately, that’s the one I can’t answer.”

“Interesting.” The reply was short, but sounded contemplative.

Flashing an engaging grin, Ahsoka said, “Why don’t you see what you can figure out? Once we find Leia, I’ll let you expound at length.”

“Only if you correct any mistakes.” 

“You’re rather demanding for a soldier,” Ahsoka remarked dryly.

There was a sigh. “Tell me about it. I believe my last commanding officer termed it as ‘insubordinate’.”

Ahsoka laughed. “My kind of soldier.”

The young woman glanced over warily, clearly unsure whether she was being mocked or complimented.

“I mean it, my dear.”

“Too bad you’re not my boss, then,” Shan replied with a grin.

“Oh, I suspect your commanders are more appreciative of your skills than you think, imbecile lieutenants excepted.” She snorted derisively. “Only elite protectors have a position with the royal guard. And, the Sovereign Master doesn’t know you by sight for no reason. I wouldn’t be surprised if you are on a short list for a warrior commission.” 

They fell silent, continuing their rhythmic trot, feet hitting cobblestones in sync. Then, there was a tentative response. “Do you really believe that? Other soldiers don’t seem to have so much trouble following orders.” The young woman continued softly, “Sometimes, I wonder if I’m in the right line of work.” 

Ahsoka’s heart clenched. “You are,” she said firmly. “Soldiers who follow orders are good soldiers. Soldiers who know when not to are great soldiers. But, soldiers who think independently, analyze situations, and create solutions are not just soldiers. They’re warriors. They’re you, Riela Shan.”

The gray eyes glinted almost silver. “Wow. Um, thanks.” The expression suddenly morphed into confusion. “Wait a minute, how did you know my first name?”

“Ah, that’s a question for another time.” Ahsoka winked. 

Shan halted in her tracks, gaping after her in annoyed disbelief.

Glancing back, Ahsoka called mischievously, “Come on, my young warrior. We have a princess to find, remember?”

Sprinting to catch up, Shan fell silent, though her face seemed to be cycling through possibilities. “So, were you ever a warrior for a specific kingdom?”

The question produced a sudden ache in Ahsoka’s heart. “Trying to get clues, are we?”

“Something like that, but you don’t have to answer. I can tell it’s not a happy topic.” Her eyes darted sideways toward Ahsoka’s.

Raising impressed eyebrows, Ahsoka commented, “You’re very observant, my dear. The answer is yes.” She added sadly, “But, not anymore.”

“I’m sorry.” Her face fell. “I shouldn’t have asked.” 

Ahsoka could practically hear the girl’s internal remonstrations. Perfect soldiers didn’t give in to their curiosity. They were disciplined. “No, trying to understand your environment is a key skill for a warrior.”

Shan’s shoulders straightened.

Putting some lightness into her tone, Ahsoka continued, “Though, there is usually a quid pro quo for information. For instance, why do you want to be a warrior? Don’t tell me you don’t. Many soldiers don’t want to be warriors. Others fall into a commission by virtue of their deeds. Some decide later in their careers. But, you are not any of those. I would say you’ve always known what you wanted.”

The woman’s eyes dropped. “You’re right. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, since I was a child. I don’t really know why. I come from a long line of warriors, or so I’ve been told. It’s deeper than that, though. I can’t explain it. I’ve just always known it was… my destiny.” Returning her gaze to Ahsoka, embarrassment etched across it, she added, “I guess that sounds stupid.”

“No,” Ahsoka replied seriously. “it sounds like you know who you are. And, that is a gift.”

“Thanks.” The young woman smiled diffidently and then her expression turned distant. “When I was young, I—well, we had to leave our home. My father and I travelled city to city selling wares. I was happy, but I still felt a bit lost or something. After he died, I joined the Chandrila army at sixteen. I was behind the curve in terms of training, but I finally felt like I had a home again. As if, the version of me in my head was—I don’t know—where it belonged.”

A determined child’s face flashed.  _ I’m gonna be a warrior, Commander Tano.  _ Guilt and regret flowed.  _ I could have helped.  _ Still, the girl had figured it out on her own. She instinctively knew, but lacked the support to be confident in it. 

Stopping mid-step, Ahsoka grabbed Shan’s arm, turning her to lock their eyes. “Like you, I knew I was destined to be a warrior my entire life. Then, I lost everything and it made me doubt that destiny. Until, I realized I was still me. I am a warrior, no matter what form it takes. Is that how you feel?”

Shan’s face tightened, a few tears escaping misty eyes. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

“Then, that is who you are.” Ahsoka brushed away the tears gently. “Don’t you ever forget it.” 

A happy smile formed, confidence rising with it. 

Feeling satisfied for the moment, Ahsoka released her grip, so they could resume moving. 

A quiet voice asked, “Have we met before? I feel like I—we have a—you’re familiar somehow. And, you still haven’t told me how you knew my name.”

Ahsoka lifted surprised eyebrows.  _ Interesting. _ She grinned mischievously. “Maybe, I’ve met a lot of people. Let me know if you figure it out.” 

Exasperated eyes bored into her skull. 

Spotting a group of people gathered around a doorstep, Ahsoka took off, grinning back at Shan. “Time to work for a living!”

Shaking her head in amusement, the soldier ran after her.

_______

The next time Leia woke up, her head was on fire. It took every ounce of energy to open her eyes. She was in a solid metal cage, hanging precariously off something.  _ Probably, a wagon. _ The cage was swaying and small shafts of light came from three, thin slits cut into the side.  _ Why do I even bother opening my eyes these days? _

They weren’t moving, which seemed odd. She lifted her head gingerly and angled eyes to look through the slits.  _ Ah, we’re at a supply depot. This would be the ideal time to escape. If, I could move. _ She laid her screaming head back down, letting her eyelids drift shut.  _ I’m so tired. _

Suddenly, screeching metal assaulted her ears, generating new shockwaves of pain. 

A quiet voice said, “Come on, Princess, work with me here. We have three minutes max or we’re both dead.” Strong hands started pulling her from the cage.

Forcing eyelids open, Leia saw her roguish kidnapper grinning at her. She asked weakly, “What are you doing here?”

“Saving your life, of course—now that you’ve saved mine,” was the impish reply. “Assuming we can get out of here, anyway.”

He stood her up, but Leia immediately fell back into his arms, unable to balance herself. She said in a pained whisper, “Sorry, don’t think—can walk—head…”

She felt herself being slung over a shoulder and a light yet worried voice said, “Just don’t die on me, ok?”

The pain in her head was now excruciating as they bounced along. Trying to maintain consciousness, Leia looked at the ground moving below her, which just made the dizziness worse. So, she switched focus to the tensed muscles beneath her body.  _ He’s stronger than I thought. _

Eventually, her body gave up the fight and she slipped into another painless sleep.

_______

Shan slumped her shoulders. “I thought for sure the tip was solid this time.”

Scanning the only room in the rundown house, Ahsoka noted the out of place chair, the remains of rope around a planked bed, and signs of a recent struggle in the dust.  _ That’s my girl.  _ “It was.” The woman moved across the space, picking up a ripped piece of delicate, white fabric from the bedframe. “She was here.”

The soldier brightened. “If it was recent, perhaps someone saw something?”

“Maybe.” Ahsoka chewed her lip indecisively. _ Are they gone for good?  _ Staying here could mean letting them get further away or it could mean catching them upon their return.

“What are you thinking?”

“They could have moved on or… not.”

“Oh,” the expression cleared, “I see. You think they might come back here.”

Ahsoka shrugged. “It’s unlikely. However, I don’t want to miss them if they do.”

Shan nodded understanding. “What if we call in a squad to watch?”

“No,” Ahsoka shook her head. “A group of soldiers would stick out. No one would even try to approach the house.”

“I can stay.” Perhaps sensing Ahsoka’s resistance, Shan continued quickly, “I know I may not be able to detain them on my own, especially if he has help. However, I am good at staying hidden. We can place a squad nearby, but not close enough to draw attention. I can signal backup and then track them if they attempt to leave.”

Ahsoka considered. “It’s a good plan, actually. Let’s do it. I’ll scout the surrounding area, while you get help. Once you return, I’ll hopefully have some leads.”

Shan gave a quick nod. 

“Good. You’ve got an hour, soldier. Get going.”

There was an exasperated breath, but the young woman flipped around into a run and was gone.

_______

Han bit out a curse when he saw a young soldier sprint into the house. Looking down at the woman in his arms, he considered. The man couldn’t exactly waltz up and return her. But, he was pretty sure she needed a healer as soon as possible. 

Solo had planned on sending a message to the castle, giving him time to make his escape. Glancing around, he saw a young boy digging through refuse nearby. An idea formed and he hissed, “Hey kid, want to make some credits?”

The boy’s eyes lit up, but he approached warily.

“All you have to do is deliver a message to that house in twenty minutes. I’ll give you five dataris now and ten more after you properly execute the task. Deal?”

“Ten now,” was the determined reply.

Han gave an exaggerated sigh for the boy’s benefit. He had expected the counter. “Fine. Here’s the message and your payment. It has to be exactly twenty minutes or you don’t get paid. Deliver it and run. Meet me in Utapau Square ten minutes after you're done to get the rest. If you're later than that, I'm gone. Got it?”

The urchin nodded, hunkering down in the alleyway to wait.

Han Solo sprinted away with a satisfied smile.

_______

Shan’s lungs were exploding.  _ Almost there, Rie. Keep going. _ The soldier frantically scanned the streets as she ran. Her mind screamed with relief when she saw an unexpected, but hoped for, figure. “A-so… soka!”

The woman flipped around from her conversation with a merchant and rushed over. “What’s wrong? What is it?”

Shan doubled over and shoved out the message in her hand. “Boy—came—straight… ahead.”   

Ahsoka read it and then immediately took off, yelling behind her, “You did good!”

_______

“Leia, can you hear me? Leia.”

Focusing on the voice, she tried to respond, “-soka?”

There was a deep exhale of relief. “Yes, my amazing girl, it’s me. I’ve got you stabilized, but you have a serious head injury. I need to get you to Barriss immediately. Do you understand?”

“Y-yes.” Leia’s head swam with confused images. “Where—where am I?” 

“The city, in a particularly nasty storage building. I’m going to pick you up now, but don’t try to move.”

Leia opened her eyes to see a fuzzy Ahsoka hovering over her. Then, she immediately regretted it as intense waves of pain overwhelmed her. Her eyes fluttered closed and she murmured, “Need sleep.”

“No,” Ahsoka replied firmly, “I need you to stay awake. I’m sorry. I know it hurts, but please try as hard as you can.” Strong arms lifted her, cradling her carefully.

Warm light hit her face as they evidently reached outside. “Ok… try,” Leia whispered, trying to anchor herself to the woman holding her.

“You’re doing great, my strong girl, keep it up.” Wind whipped around them as they moved at what seemed like an unreal pace. “Almost home, don’t worry.”

Warm happiness momentarily replaced the pain.  _ Aunt Ahsoka is here. Everything is going to be alright. _ Leia said softly, “I’m with you. I’m already home.”

There was a happy intake of breath. Then, supportive arms tightened around her as a joy-filled voice replied, “Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, everyone is thinking - I thought there were FOUR chapters? Answer: There are.


	9. The Form We Take: Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia makes some decisions about her future, while Shan finally gets answers about her past.

“I wanted to say thank you.”

Shan lifted bemused eyebrows. “Um, I didn't do anything. We spent the entire time wandering around in circles, _not_ finding you.”

“The effort was still appreciated,” Leia said, “and, your quick action on the message allowed me to be stabilized, well before anyone else could have gotten to me. I’m told that could have been problematic for my recovery. However, I also meant thanks for trying to help me at the gates. Ahsoka said you risked your career to report it. I'm grateful.” She grimaced. “You were actually the only guard I could get to even notice me!”

The woman laughed. “If I wasn't such a terrible soldier, you might have been out of luck.”

“No,” Leia replied intently, “terrible soldiers don't think for themselves. Believe me, I’ve spent a lot of time with soldiers of all kinds. Besides, Ahsoka is one of the most powerful and skilled warriors on the planet and she thinks you have the potential to be truly great. If I were you, I'd reconsider your definition of terrible.”

Shan gazed at her in disbelief, but then grinned. “I'll take it under advisement.” She hesitated, before asking, “Who is she? Ahsoka, I mean?”

Leia made an apologetic face. “I'm afraid I can't answer that question. I'm sorry.” Shifting positions, she leaned back against the bed’s headboard. _Ow. Maybe, let’s not do that again._

There was a resigned exhale. “Of course you can't. No one can, apparently.” She slumped in her chair.

“Well, I guess she can.”

Shan snorted. “Her answers are worse than the questions. They usually involve some witty rejoinder and an endearing grin. I'm pretty sure she enjoys driving me insane.”

“I sympathize,” Leia said with a small smile, “I’ve had a lot of experience trying to get Ahsoka to tell me something she doesn’t want to.”

“How do you know her?”

Grimacing again, Leia replied, “I’m afraid you have yet another question I can’t answer.”

There was a wry smile. “Of course, I do. Hmm… so, Princess, have you been enjoying our particularly fine weather during your eventful visit?”

Leia rolled her eyes. “Please, let’s not do small talk. I hate small talk. If it doesn’t involve Ahsoka, I can probably answer.”

The unusual slate gray eyes brightened. “Ok, how did you learn outsmarting kidnappers, excellent hand-to-hand combat skills, remaining calm in life-threatening situations, and finding your way through strange cities?”

“Well, I am a princess,” she replied impishly.

“Oh, that’s part of standard princess training?” The woman’s eyes twinkled.

“Not all of it,” Leia admitted, “I had an interest in certain areas beyond the norm. Ahsoka and the Mirialan woman you met—”

“Barriss? That’s her name, right?” Curiosity had sprung into the soldier’s face.

_Definitely an observant soldier._ “Yes, they both taught me quite a lot.”

“That’s nice,” Shan said, “to have people that skilled to teach you anything you want to know, I mean.”

_It is, isn't it? I should be more appreciative._ “You’re right. I’m lucky, I suppose.”

The young woman gazed at her strangely. “I don’t know about that. You did just lose… everything. Then, you promptly got kidnapped and severely injured. Honestly, I can’t believe you’re sitting here chatting with me three days later as if nothing happened. It’s, well, impressive.”

Pushing back the heartache, Leia gave a weak smile. “Now, that _is_ part of princess training.”

Shan said softly, “I understand, you know. Not all of it, but I lost my home and my mother when I was young. It took me a long time to find a new home. I hope you can find one, as well.”

“Thanks.” Meeting the sympathetic eyes, Leia added, “I think I already have, actually. A week ago I would have said no. Then, while I was waiting to die, I realized I did have a home after all. It’s strange how things work.”

“Wow. That’s fast. It took me years. As I said, you are impressive.”

“I think it was more special circumstances. And, I’m still not sure about other things. I just know where my home is, now.”

“Where is that?” Shan asked curiously.

Leia considered how to respond. “With the people I love.”

There was silence and Shan seemed to be contemplating. “So, you are saying home is not a specific place, but with those you love?”

Surprised, Leia asked, “Did Ahsoka tell you that?”

Confusion appeared on the woman’s face. “Um, no. Why?”

“Huh,” Leia replied, “I can see why she thinks so highly of you.”

The confusion spiked and then turned into wry amusement. “And, I can see where you get your penchant for answering questions in an incomprehensible manner.”

Leia grinned. “Maybe so.” Turning serious, she asked, “When did you lose your home? I mean, if you don’t want to talk about it—”

“No,” Shan interrupted, “it’s fine. It was a long time ago. I was seven when my kingdom was destroyed.”

_Seven?_ Leia quickly did the math in her head. _Maybe?_ “Was your kingdom… Shili?”

The woman gave a small jolt and looked at her with surprise. “Um, yeah. How did you know that?”

“It was destroyed seventeen years ago, just a guess,” Leia tried to answer casually and then added, “I’m sorry, especially since you also lost your mother.”

“So am I.” Shan’s eyes turned distant. “She was a great warrior, you know, a company commander in the Shili army. Mom was extremely proud to be part of what she called the best battalion of soldiers in the 47 kingdoms.” Refocusing, she shrugged. “I don’t remember a lot from when I was young, but I remember that.”

Trying to keep the shock out of her voice, Leia said, “She was in the 501st?” Realizing she might have said too much, she added, “At least, I’ve heard it had that reputation. I wasn’t born yet.” _Does Ahsoka know who she is? Surely, she must._

“Yes, it was the 501st.” The soldier’s gaze had fixed on her with surprised interest. “I didn’t think anyone really remembered details about Shili, nowadays. Is this another part of princess training?”

Leia felt torn. It wasn’t her secret to share, but she wanted Shan to have the connection. _I would want it. I hope Ahsoka plans to tell her._ Compromising, she replied carefully, “My parents taught me the real history of the kingdoms, not what most people get today. Also, Ahsoka is quite knowledgeable about military history.”

“Is she?” Shan’s face turned oddly thoughtful, as if she was trying to figure something out.

_Interesting._ “Indeed. Anyway, I’m glad you found a new home.”

The woman smiled. “I’m glad you have too.” Then, she said airily, “Who would have thought I’d have so much in common with a princess? This may be the pinnacle of my adult life.”

_I really like this girl._ Leia raised a snarky eyebrow. “Um, princesses are people too, you know.”

“If you say so.” The gray eyes glinted mischievously. “Soldiers protect royals. We don’t chat with them very often.”

“I suppose that’s true.” _I should have gotten to know mine better._ Tears welled up and she looked away.

A hand gripped hers. “I’m sorry if I upset you.”

Regaining control, Leia said, “You didn’t. It just made me think of all the soldiers who died to protect us.”

The hand tightened. “That was who they were. They made their own choices. Don’t deny them that by feeling guilty.”

Leia smiled, dragging her eyes back to Shan’s. “You’re right. I suppose we all have our own person to become.” She paused, feeling an urge to confide in the woman. _I think I want a… friend._ “In a way, they were more true to themselves than I ever was. I was destined to be a princess, eventually a Sovereign. I didn’t choose that, though I did get a sense of purpose from it. Now, I’m not sure what to do with myself.”

“Perhaps,” the woman replied thoughtfully, “you were truly meant to be something deeper. Ahsoka said she was meant to be a warrior, or rather a defender. And, it could take many forms, as long as it matched who she really was. It was the first time I’d thought of it like that.”

Leia was startled. _Maybe a princess was never who I really was?_ She rolled the thought around, growing more excited by the idea. _So, who am I?_

“We just met,” the soldier continued, “but I have a feeling you are something like… a leader, maybe? That could take many forms.”

She gazed at Shan in some amazement. “Um, that’s… you may be right.” _Am I a leader? I think I am._ It felt right, somehow.

There was a snort. “If so, it’s only because of Ahsoka. Apparently, incomprehensible answers do some good after all!”

Squeezing her hand, Leia grinned. “Don’t tell Ahsoka. It’ll go to her head.”

“Don’t tell me what?” A new voice rang out from the door.

Shan twisted around in her chair and glared. “Ready to answer questions yet?”

There was only an engaging grin in response as Ahsoka sat down on the bed.

Leia asked sternly, “Are you tormenting my friend?” She glanced at Shan to gauge her reaction to the descriptor.

The young woman raised her eyebrows in surprise, but then flashed a pleased smile at Leia. “It’s sad but true. I may not survive the experience.”

Ahsoka also looked a bit startled by Leia’s choice of words, though it was quickly replaced by an innocent expression. “I have no idea what you mean. I love to answer questions.”

“Whatever.” Shan crossed her arms and slumped back into the chair.

Leia fixed Ahsoka with a disapproving gaze.

The woman laughed. “Don't even try it. That only works for Barriss.”

“What only works for me?” Yet another new arrival in the form of Barriss strolled in.

“Nothing,” Ahsoka answered mischievously.

Barriss glanced between them and then quirked an eyebrow. “Well, you two can continue your vague, undisclosed conversation at length elsewhere. It's time for Leia's checkup.”

“I just got here!” Ahsoka cried.

“Your point is?” Barriss asked, the edges of her mouth twitching.

Leia said mischievously, “You all will just have to entertain yourselves for a while. Ahsoka could always, you know, answer questions.”

The soldier brightened. “Works for me.”

Shaking her head in amusement, Ahsoka relented. “Alright, oh gifted one, let's go. I'll see what I can do.”

Shan leapt from her seat with a salute. “Yes, ma'am.”

As they walked toward the door, Leia called out, “Shan, thanks for visiting. Will you, maybe, come back to see me soon? If you have time? It’s nice to have someone to talk to who isn’t ancient.” She shot an impish look at Ahsoka.

Barriss turned an equally impish eye on her wife, clearly of the opinion that Leia was not referring to her.

Placing a hand over her heart, Ahsoka exclaimed, “Oh, the pain. It’s as if you are trying to say you’d rather hang out with Shan than us!” Glancing at Barriss, she added, “And, yes I did say _us,_ my dear.”

“Perish the thought,” Leia replied dryly.

Shan grinned. “Don’t worry, Princess. I’ll save you from incomprehensible life lessons.”

The girl grinned back. “Good. Oh, and stop calling me Princess. Leia will do.”

The young woman replied warmly, “Leia it is.”

_______

“So, I really can't answer many of your questions. However, I do want to give you something that may help.”

“Um, ok,” Shan replied tentatively.

Ahsoka led her into the guest quarters. “Wait in the sitting room. I'll be right back.”

The soldier took up a position by the fire. _This place is huge. The life of a royal guest, I suppose._ Looking at the settee, she had a unbidden urge to bounce on it, just to see what would happen. The cushions looked enormously fluffy. _One minute in extravagance and you've turned into a little kid._

Having an actual room to herself was a foreign concept. Before her mother died, they probably had private quarters, but she didn't remember it. In any case, the desire to take advantage was strong. _Control yourself. Imagine if Ahsoka found you leaping on a royal settee!_

Fortunately, the woman in question returned before Shan could give in to temptation.

Ahsoka grinned. “You look like a Wookie at a formal dinner party. Relax.”

Smiling bashfully, Shan said, “It’s just so… big.”

The woman chuckled, placing a satchel on the floor. “Well, you should enjoy it while you can.” She collapsed on the settee, slouching sideways. “Come on, sit down. Let's talk.”

Most warriors sat ramrod straight, as if they had forgotten how to do anything but stand at attention. _She is so… different._ Seating herself gingerly on the edge of the settee, Shan waited expectantly.

“No, absolutely not. I meant relax.” Ahsoka's expression was stern with a hint of humor.

Blowing out an exasperated breath, Shan leaned back into the cushions. _They aren't as fluffy as I thought._ “Better?”

“It'll do,” was the impish reply. “First, I have a question. It may seem strange and kind of personal, but humor me. Do you remember your mother?”

Shan shifted up in surprise. “Um, yeah. But, she died when I was around seven, so its kinda vague. Why?”

The woman nodded sadly. “I understand. My mother died when I was young, as well. What do you know about her?”

Still unsure where this was going, Shan replied slowly, “Well, she was a company commander from Shili—in the best battalion in the 47 kingdoms,” she echoed her statement to Leia with a sense of pride.

“Yes, the 501st. What else?” The voice had an edge of melancholy to it.

As she stared at the woman, Shan shivered, an idea leaping into her mind. _Impossible._ Pushing it away, she said, “Um, Mom liked books and read to me often. I remember loving it. She must have smiled a lot, because that’s how I picture her. And, I think she had a beautiful voice. Sometimes, I hear a woman singing in my head and I’m pretty sure it’s her.” Blinking back tears, Shan added, “My dad said she was the kindest woman he ever knew.”

“That's all true,” Ahsoka said wistfully.

Shan’s eyes darted to the other side of the settee. “Uh, are you saying you knew my mother?”

Ahsoka pinned her with a sorrowful gaze. Pulling a small, leather bound object from the satchel, she offered it to Shan.

Taking it carefully, the young woman turned it over in confusion. _A book?_ Something about it seemed vaguely familiar. Opening it, she spotted the childish, hand drawn pictures on the title leaf. _It can’t be._ Jerking her head up, Shan stuttered, “H-how did—where did—”

“Ah, you do remember it. Good. Your mother was always trying to get me to read more. I’m afraid I am very bad at finishing books.” The woman chuckled. “This was her favorite adventure story and she insisted it would keep my interest. She apologized for the scribbles on random pages. Apparently, her creative daughter thought illustrations would make it better.”

The earlier idea returned forcefully. A fuzzy memory surfaced of a princess grinning at her. A face that looked very much like the one in front of her. _Ahsoka? Was that her given name? Maybe. A Togruta warrior without a kingdom. A great one. Leia’s odd reactions. It is. But, it can’t be._

“Anyway,” Ahsoka continued, “I took it with me when I left. After she died, I finally read it and loved it. Your mother had a habit of being right. The funny thing is, I don’t usually carry the book around. I thought I might read it again and threw it in my bag this trip. Then, I met you. Strange how things happen, isn’t it?”

_The Princess is dead. Everyone knows that._ Putting together everything she had learned over the last few days yielded the same impossible conclusion. _Everyone is wrong._ “Are you—how did you know my mother?”

Ahsoka raised her eyebrows. “I think you know the answer to that question, my dear. However, if you need confirmation… she was one of my company commanders in Shili.”

Her mind started spinning. “You're Commander Tano, Princess of Shili.” It was a statement, not a question.

“If you say so,” she replied airily. “In any case, I want you to have the book.”

Still feeling out of focus, Shan started to automatically object, “I can’t. Mom gave it—”  

“No,” Ahsoka interrupted, “it gave me comfort during a difficult period. I want it to do the same for you, whenever you need it. Besides, it belongs with the girl who created the drawings that brought a smile to my face, when I had very little to smile about.”

Tears started pooling as she said quietly, “Thank you.”

Ahsoka gave her a warm smile. “I'm glad to see you've inherited her love of reading, as well as her unusual eyes, empathetic nature, and penchant for disobeying orders.”

_I’m like my mother._ That thought generated momentary waves of happiness melding into the shock and confusion. Shan stared at the gift, trying to calm the cascading tumult of chaos. She stated blankly, “I thought you were dead.”

“Oh, I am, my dear. I’ve been dead amazingly often, actually.” The reply was light, but had an undertone of sadness.

Her mind finally seemed to kick into gear and Shan started spilling out questions, “How did you survive? Where have you been? What are you doing here? Why—”

Ahsoka raised a hand. “I’m sorry. Those are the questions I can’t answer. In this instance, my gifted young warrior, I’ll need you to follow orders. Actually, it would be better for me if you didn’t tell anyone about this conversation.”

More questions on the tip of her tongue, Shan let out a deep breath. “I suppose I can live with that. And, don’t worry, I would never say anything that might endanger you.”

The woman locked intense eyes on hers. “I wasn’t worried. I know who you are Riela Shan. Like your mother, you’re a protector. You told me at six years old that you intended to be a warrior. I didn’t doubt it then and I definitely don’t now.”

Shan smiled with a childish pleasure. “Thanks.” She rubbed her eyes. “I really am a bit overwhelmed. I suppose I should be careful what I ask for, huh?”

There was an impish grin. “Hmm… well, perhaps, you’ve fallen asleep at your post and there is no kidnapped princess, no resurrected Ahsoka Tano, and no book.”

“That would be a very disappointing outcome. Besides, I never fall asleep on duty,” she added indignantly.

Ahsoka laughed. “I bet you don’t. How could you disobey orders if you’re asleep?” She reached out a hand to brush a strand of rebellious hair from Shan’s forehead. “You really do look so much like your mother. It’s deeper, though. Something about the way your mind works, even how your face crinkles when you’re thinking—it’s very much her.”

Looking at Ahsoka tentatively, she asked, “Can you… tell me more about her?”

There was an understanding smile in return. “I’d love to.”

_______

“Well, my dear, what have you decided?”

Leia pursed her lips and sat up in the bed, leaning back against the headboard. _Thank the Gods that doesn’t hurt anymore._ “It’s hard to explain.”

Ahsoka nodded. “Just lay it on me and we’ll work through it together. Ok?”

The reply comforted Leia. “Ok, here’s the issue. I want to be with my family. That’s my home. I’ve got that part now. But, I think I belong in a place that matches who I am. At the same time, I feel like I belong with you too. I don’t—I’m not sure this is making any sense.”

“Hmm… this is about the time I regret letting Barriss go back to base.”

The girl snorted. “Are you saying I'm too impossible to handle on your own?”

“No way. I’m definitely not disappointing my favorite niece.” She grinned. “I suppose my question is… who are you?”

“First off, I’m your only niece,” Leia replied dryly.

“How do you know?” Ahsoka asked with feigned innocence. “I might have more long lost nieces out there somewhere! You’d be surprised how many people I didn’t know existed just pop up from time to time.”

Leia sent her eyes skyward. “Anyway, who I am—ok, this might sound—well, I think I’m a leader.” She paused, trying to put the feeling into words. “As in, someone who can organize and motivate people toward a common goal, who can help the people she’s responsible for. I think I need to make the world a better place in that way. I don’t know if that makes sense.”

Her aunt’s expression turned contemplative.

Leia added quickly, “It sounds like I’m saying I’m special or something. But, I don’t know how else to describe it. I just know I can do it and how it makes me feel when I do. It somehow seems like… me.”

Ahsoka continued to stare distantly at the wall.

“Uh, maybe I’m wrong? I don’t know. It—”

“No,” Ahsoka interrupted as she refocused, “you’re right. It is totally you.”

The girl gazed at her uncertainly. “Are you sure? You can tell me the truth.”

Fierce, blue eyes met hers. “Absolutely. It’s a perfect description of you. I wasn’t quiet because I disagreed. I was trying to think of options to make it happen. I want you to achieve who you were meant to be.”

Comforting happiness blossomed in Leia’s heart. “I love you, Aunt Ahsoka.”

The woman started and then reached forward with misty eyes, brushing gentle fingers over Leia’s cheek. “I love you too, my amazing niece.”

The girl ducked her head. “Good.”

Leaning back in the chair, Ahsoka flashed a warm smile. “Ok, let’s talk. You could stay here in Chandrila. I’m sure Mon would be happy to have you as part of her royal council, if you want to stick with what you know. Though, there are other options.”

Contemplating, Leia shrugged. “Maybe.” _I don’t need to be a princess, anymore. And, this isn’t my kingdom._ Plus, she had an urge to expand her skills. “What else?”

“Stay with us at home for a while, maybe as an adjutant to Barriss. We’ll focus your training on leading a rebellion. Then, when you’re ready, we can give you a command position. It could be at headquarters. Or, if you want to spread your wings, you can have command of one of the kingdom-based compounds, satellite bases, or a specific unit of rebel operations. There are lots of choices, depending on how your skills play out and what you’re interested in doing.”

Leia’s mind started racing with possibilities. _I could learn new skills, help the rebellion, stay at home, and be who I am._

Her aunt added hesitantly, “However, you could do none of the above and we can keep thinking. Being a leader could take many forms.”

“No, it’s perfect.” She grinned from ear to ear. “Aunt Ahsoka, have I ever mentioned how much I love you?”

There was a bright smile. “Well, I don’t know. I may need you to mention it more often.”

“Hmm… I wouldn’t want to spoil you,” the girl replied airily.

Ahsoka leaned forward and pinched her cheeks. “No chance of that.”

Leia giggled, grabbing the hands from her face. “If you keep doing that, I’m never going to visit home!”

Her aunt kissed her forehead. “Oh great. I can already tell you’re going to be a demanding understudy.”

Smiling impishly, Leia commented, “Well, I am a bit of a princess, you know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's the end of our little adventure in Chandrila! I started this to explore the idea of Leia finding a new place in this world after losing everything. Hopefully, we've got her there now. Though, if I had to guess, this won't be the only adjustment she'll be making in the future. She is joining the strangest family that has ever existed, as Caleb Dume would say.
> 
> Oh, if you're interested in more Riela Shan, see the next work in the series "Complicated".


	10. Extended Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia adjusts to her new home in rebel headquarters and the extended family that comes with it.
> 
> [POV: Leia]  
> [Age: 17/18]  
> Except for the final scene, this is set between chapters 52-53 of “Where I’ve Always Been”.

“You’re getting good.”

Leia twisted around from the sparring dummy to see an impressed-looking Sabine. “Thanks, but I still need a lot of practice.”

The woman rolled her eyes. “Um, that’s true for everyone. Well, maybe not Ahsoka.” She grinned. “Doesn’t mean you can’t accept a compliment.”

“I suppose not,” Leia replied, trying a smile. _Why does this feel so awkward?_ Even though everyone had gone out of their way to make her feel welcome, she couldn’t shake the awkwardness that surrounded the personal interactions.

After a month, she had better settled into her new home at rebel headquarters. However, for the first time, her aunts and brother were all on missions simultaneously. Leia had quickly realized that without them it didn’t quite feel like home. _Not like Alderaan._ When her parents had been gone, there had been none of the off-kilter feelings she had now.

On-duty, though, Leia still had a sense of useful belonging. So, she had merely doubled her workload and training routine while they were away. However, it was surprisingly unfulfilling. _Maybe, I've gotten too dependent on having people?_

Attempting a semblance of friendliness, Leia sheathed her short sword and asked, “Are you between missions?”

The young woman nodded. “Yeah. I think Barriss has some special assignment for us when she gets back.”

“Oh, well, that’s good.” _That’s good? What kind of response is that?_

With the number of installations now established in other locations, the actual complement of headquarters staff was fairly small. Ostensibly, the reduced number of only highly trusted rebels lessened leaks and spread potential losses. However, Leia suspected it was primarily to add a layer of anonymity and protection to the people her aunts considered family, especially herself and Luke. _And, I thought my parents were secretive. This family takes it to the next level._

In any case, given how often people who had quarters in what Ahsoka lovingly termed the family wing of the base were on missions, it was even emptier. In fact, if Leia remained in that section, she could avoid nearly everyone. Something she found herself doing on a regular basis when off-duty. It even contained a training room, allowing her to work uninterrupted. _Apparently, not today._ Phoenix Squadron had come home.

Sabine was gazing at Leia strangely, until her face abruptly lit up. “Do you want to spar? I mean, unless you enjoy fighting an inanimate object?”

She raised surprised eyebrows. “Um, I suppose so—if you aren’t busy?” Fighting a live opponent was always preferable. Leia just wasn’t sure of the motivation behind the offer.

The woman grinned. “Well, I’ll have to rearrange my hectic schedule of listening to Ezra and Zeb argue, while Caleb and Hera exchange annoyed looks, but otherwise I’m free.”

Leia gave what she hoped was a friendly smile. “In that case, yes.”

Looking pleased with herself, Sabine said, “Excellent. Swords or staffs?”

_______

Breathing heavily, Leia rolled back up into a crouch, barely avoiding the incoming blow. Attempting to spin sideways to regain a standing position, there was a sudden hit to her left leg, sending her careening to the ground.

Before she could process what had happened, a triumphant Sabine had her pinned. Unable to get any kind of movement under the strong grip, Leia cursed inwardly and called, “Match.”

Releasing the hold, Sabine stood and reached out a hand.

Still fuming in frustration at herself, Leia took it slowly.

“Great match.” Sabine pulled her up with a grin. “You almost had me a couple of times.”

“Almost doesn’t count,” Leia replied in annoyance, retrieving her staff from where it had been unceremoniously deposited after Sabine’s onslaught.

The young woman looked at her for a moment and then put a hand on her shoulder. “Sometimes it does.”

Leia asked in confusion, “What?”

“Almost doing something means you’re close to succeeding. It doesn’t help you now, true. But, it will help you tomorrow.”

 _Oh please._ “You don’t have to make me feel better. You’re the superior opponent. I can accept it.”

The hand tightened. “No. You shouldn’t. That’s my point. You think because you aren’t good enough at this moment, it's a failure. The point of sparring is to get better. Fighting an inferior opponent is not very helpful. The best outcome in a sparring match is ‘almost’. Because, that means you’re learning and soon I’ll be the one who gets to mope the rest of the day.”

Leia couldn’t help a small grin. “Alright, if that's true, why bother sparring with me? By your logic, you learned nothing.”

A clearly amused Sabine said, “True. But, as I said, you almost had me a couple of times. I was forced to be creative to take you down. And, practicing adaptability never hurts.”

“You have an answer for everything,” Leia replied in exasperation.

“Only because Ahsoka and I had this same conversation once,” Sabine said lightly, “except I was you.”

 _Huh. I had forgotten she would have been trained by Ahsoka, as well. And, apparently was no happier than I am with losing._ “Somehow, that actually makes me feel better,” Leia remarked.

The woman smiled. “Good. Now, what do you say we get some lunch? Thanks to you, I’m starving.”

“How is it my fault you’re hungry, exactly?” Leia quirked a sardonic eyebrow.

“Um, you made me work too hard to beat you,” was the impish reply.

This time, Leia actually laughed. “Alright, lunch it is.” As they walked out of the room, she realized the awkwardness was gone. _Huh._

_______

“Here she is!”

Leia twisted her head toward the doorway and saw Ezra Bridger strolling in with an annoyed expression.

He stopped upon noticing her and smiled widely. “Hello, Princess, how are you?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” Leia replied politely, immediately reverting to formal mode.

Sabine glanced at her with a strange expression and then turned a frustrated eye on Ezra. “Did you need something? We were trying to eat lunch.”

The young man seemed taken aback, but immediately looked annoyed himself. “So sorry for interrupting lunchtime. We’ve only been searching the entire base trying to find you!”

“Why?”

“Um, did you forget we’re supposed to complete the mission reports this afternoon?”

Grimacing, she answered in a more conciliatory tone, “I did. Can I meet you in a little while?”

Ezra opened his mouth, clearly about to object, when Sabine added, “Please?”

His eyes widened, apparently unaccustomed to the word. Glancing between them, he said slowly, “Sure. I’ll tell Hera you’re doing something important and will meet us in the study after you’re done.”

Sabine’s face relaxed and she said gratefully, “Thanks, Ezra.”

A cocky grin flashed. “Anytime.” Looking at Leia, he gave a over-the-top, clumsy bow. “Good to see you again, Princess. I hope we can catch up later.”

Trying to appear less formal, Leia smiled slightly. “As do I.”

Ezra’s eyes lit up and he grinned again, before swaggering out of the room.

Leia glanced at Sabine, “You don’t have to stay here if you have other duties to attend to, you know.”

The woman shook her head. “As exciting as writing reports is, I think I’m good.”

Giving a small chuckle, Leia said, “Well, I’m glad I could help get you out of at least one of them.”

Sabine snorted, but then commented, “Keeping you company is more important than reports, anyway.”

Leia started. _Why does she care?_ “Oh, um thanks.”

“I mean it,” the woman said intently, “you’re—” She paused and then said, “Do you know where we are right now?”

Staring at her in confusion, she said, “Rebel headquarters?”

“Where in headquarters, specifically, are we at this moment?”

Still unsure of where this was going, Leia answered, “I guess the dining room.”

There was an exasperated breath. “The dining room of what?”

Sudden understanding flashed and Leia replied softly, “The family quarters.”

“Exactly. And, who stays in the family quarters?”

Averting her gaze, Leia said, “Family.”

“Uh huh,” was the bemused reply, “and that makes us…?”

 _I barely know them. How are they family?_ Conflicting emotions swirled. _Still, she’s not wrong either._ Leia had been integrated into an already existing family. An eclectic, strange one, but a family nevertheless.

Sabine added quietly, “I know we don’t know each other all that well, yet.  But, that doesn’t make us not family. Do you know how we define family in this family?”

Leia raised amused eyebrows. “Is there a special definition or something?”

The woman chuckled. “Not exactly. Has Ahsoka ever told you what family is?”

“Oh,” she replied with a nod, “that’s what you mean. She says family is always there for each other, so you don’t go through things alone.”

“Exactly. Family means being there, having faith, knowing who you can count on. It doesn’t really matter how much time you've spent together. If you’re family, you're family. And, in this one, that means you’re never alone. Sometimes, the level of not alone you are gets annoying,” she ended wryly.

The words were strangely comforting and Leia smiled at her.

Smiling back, Sabine continued, “My point is, whether you’ve had three conversations or fifty, everyone considers you family. We would all do anything for you. I’m afraid you’re just going to have to get used to the idea of having us.”

 _Wow._ Seeing the sincerity in the woman’s eyes, Leia had a realization. Ahsoka, Barriss, and Luke were the family she had left. But, she had been considering everyone else as their family and not hers. A sentiment apparently not shared by them.

Leia was used to a small, immediate family. The extended one that existed here was still a bit of a foreign concept. _Do I want it?_ The intent face of her father suddenly gazed back from her memories. _You now have more people who care about you and that’s never a bad thing._ Straightening her shoulders and meeting Sabine’s eyes, she said, “I’ll work on it.”

The woman smiled softly. “Good.”

_______

Leia couldn’t hold back laughter as she watched Ezra re-create Obi-Wan’s supposed escape roll.

The man in question raised a semi-offended eyebrow. “I don’t believe I look anything like that, Ezra Bridger.”

Luminara commented in apparent seriousness, “I thought it was a highly accurate representation.”

Obi-Wan glared at her.

Ezra puffed out his chest in satisfaction, until Zeb clipped his head with a loose fist.

The young man yelped, rubbing the injured spot in annoyance. “What was that for?”

“Just trying to keep it from growing too big,” the Lasat replied innocently.

Hera chuckled as she sat down next to Leia on the settee. Glancing over, she smiled warmly. “Hello, dear. We haven’t gotten to chat since you joined us. How are things?”

Working hard to maintain a friendly tone, Leia said, “Fine, thank you. And, I’ve only been here a month. I think Phoenix has been on missions or in Lothal most of that time.” Sabine had dragged her to the family sitting room this evening, insisting she would be expected. Leia suspected the girl somehow knew presenting it as a duty would make her come. _And, here I am. Making small talk. I hate small talk._

“True,” the woman replied, “all the more reason to chat while we can. It’s rare for everyone to be here at the same time. Which will actually happen tomorrow when the others return. It will be nice to have the family all together again, even if it is only for a day or two.”

Trying to keep up her end of the conversation, Leia asked, “How often is everyone here at the same time?”

“Hardly ever. The last time was probably… three—no wait, Rex and Asajj were gone—so, more like four months ago. Still, that’s the price of fighting a rebellion I guess.”

“I suppose so,” Leia replied and then fell silent, unsure how to continue.

The corners of Hera’s mouth formed a wry smile. “You don’t like small talk very much for a princess.”

Almost gaping in surprise, Leia flashed a guilty grin. “I know. My parents were very disappointed in me, I’m afraid.”

Hera chuckled. “I doubt that. I can’t say I blame you, though. It’s a bit pointless. I’d rather get down to business. What’s the point of talking, if it doesn’t get anything done?”

“Exactly,” Leia said with enthusiasm, “it’s the worst invention ever. I don’t know who decided it was necessary, but they should really be punished for their misdeeds.”

The woman laughed and then said mischievously, “After we free the planet, let’s make it our mission to find and put this clearly unhappy person out of their misery.”

Leia chuckled, feeling relief at managing to get past the awkwardness. “You’ve got a deal.”

“What are you two laughing about over there?” Ezra said with interest.

Hera rolled her eyes. “How annoying it is when people interrupt your conversations.”

Ezra glared and then said, “Whatever. I just thought you might need some amazingly witty commentary provided by yours truly to make it even better.”

Feeling emboldened by the atmosphere, Leia remarked dryly, “We wouldn’t want you to waste your clearly immense talents on such undeserving people as ourselves.”

The young man stared at her for a moment and then a grin formed. “I think I’ve just been cleverly insulted by a princess.”

Sabine snorted. “No _think_ about it. You were totally just insulted by a princess.”

Caleb piped up from his observant posture next to the fire. “I’m not sure, but this might be a highlight of my week.”

Zeb guffawed and sent another fist toward Ezra’s head, which resulted in a minor tussle—only stopping at the intervention from an exasperated Hera.

Turning back to Leia with a wry chuckle, Hera said, “I can see we’re going to have to schedule some time to have a real conversation. I think you’re likely to be harassed for the rest of the evening now.”

Leia raised a confused eyebrow. “I am?”

“Oh yes, dear. You’ve just thrown down the gauntlet and the battle will soon commence. Wait and see.”

Before she could respond, Ezra announced, “Well, now that we’ve established I’m too brilliant for words, shall we play a game of charades? I want to see how our princess measures up to the reigning champ, who just so happens to be me.”

There were several eye rolls, but it was clear everyone was willing to participate.

 _Oh great. What have you gotten yourself into, Leia? Charades, really?_ Trying not to show the sudden anxiety, she plastered a smile on her face.

Sabine put up a vehement hand. “Not so fast, champion of destiny. Leia’s likely new to charades. She should get to watch the first time.”

Leia shot her a grateful look.

Ezra sniffed into the air. “Where’s the challenge in that?”

Hera glanced between Leia and Sabine with a curious expression and then said, “Someone needs to show her how it's done. Or, is this just an excuse because you’re afraid of losing to Obi-Wan, again?”

Obi-Wan nodded sagely. “I do believe you’ve hit on it, Hera. The boy is positively quaking in his boots.”

“That was ages ago!” Ezra cried. “I’ll take all comers! Negotiators, warriors, and princesses alike—even spymasters.” He shot an impish look at Luminara.

The woman raised an eyebrow. “As I recall, I am not required to play again until you are beaten. That was the deal the last time I… thrashed you soundly.”

Making an exasperated sound, Ezra retorted, “How will I ever be the true champion if you never agree to a rematch?”

She gazed at him impassively. “I suppose you could always lose.”

Giving an evil grin, Sabine said, “She’s got you there. You have to lose in order to have a chance to win. If Barriss were here, she’d probably turn it into some kind of life lesson.”

That got chuckles all around.

Leia leaned back into the settee, finally feeling safe from charades-induced anxiety, and observed the group with interest. _What an odd collection of people. I wonder how they all ended up as part of this family?_

Soon, the charades commenced and Leia found herself truly enjoying it. Watching Obi-Wan Kenobi imitate a rathtar was the most unreal yet strangely fulfilling moment of the evening. _Quite possibly ever._ The skill levels varied, but the participants were clearly invested in the outcome. The easy way they all interacted, even while looking potentially foolish, was amazing. _I suppose family doesn’t have to worry about that kind of thing._ The thought brought a sudden surety. _That means I don’t have to, either._

A happy smile formed and her eye caught Sabine’s. The young woman flashed a small thumbs up.

Leia’s smile widened. _I have… family._

_______

“So, I hear you’re running away from home?”

Leia rolled her eyes at the young woman standing in her bedroom door. “Now, which one of my aunts termed it like that?”

Sabine grinned. “Neither. It was Luke, actually.”

“Of course,” Leia said in frustration, “he’s so sensitive sometimes. You’d think me taking a command position was a personal insult.”

There was a chuckle and then Sabine commented, “You know, some people think its nice to have family that misses them when they’re gone.”

Grimacing, Leia stopped packing her clothes and looked up. “You’re right. Still, I could do without them making me feel guilty about it.”

Sabine laughed. “Point taken. I won’t pile on. Though, I will miss seeing you when we’re here.”

“Me too,” she replied warmly, “but Corellia is not exactly the end of the world.” Flashing a mischievous grin, Leia added, “Besides, I plan to request your services quite often. So, I hope you really do miss me. That way it will annoy you less when I pull you away from Phoenix for days at a time.”

Crossing the room, Sabine gripped her arm. “Anytime you need me, I’ll be there. I promise.”

Leia gazed at her for a moment and then murmured, “Thanks.”

“No thanks needed.” Earnest eyes locked onto hers. “We’re family. That’s what we do.”

Warmth filled her heart and she placed a hand over Sabine’s. “I know I’m not always… do you remember when I first came to live at that base near Dantooine? You were trying to tell me that we were in the family quarters together for a reason.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I don’t think I ever answered your question. You asked me what that made us.” Maintaining an intent gaze, Leia said, “It makes us family. I might not be great at showing it, but that’s definitely what we are.”

Sabine smiled softly. “Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I wanted to wrap Phoenix Squadron into Leia's life, while exploring with the idea of creating a home in the midst of a dangerous rebellion. 
> 
> Ahsoka and Barriss have amassed quite a large 'family' over the years. Remember back when it was just two lone girls against the world? They picked up person after person over the intervening time (now 18 years!). In general, I loved the idea of them trying to create a home and a family, a sense of stability and support, for the people they love who don't have anyone else. We could go in depth on especially Ahsoka's psychological need for this. But, for that, you can just read WIAB, ha. So, here we get Leia's perceptions. 
> 
> I wanted to look at that through the lens of a new person thrown into this odd family. The person being Leia made it even more interesting, given her general resistance throughout to adding people to her life. She struggles with wanting to feel independent yet also craving support. I think we can already see the impact Ahsoka, Barriss, and Luke have had on her development. Now, she has an extended family added to the mix. I also liked the idea of Sabine as a kindred spirit, who recognizes the same reluctance to depend on others.
> 
> I guess I think of it as having your immediate family and then meeting the crazy cousins you don't see that often. They are family and that makes them a part of your life. How deeply that connection goes depends on the people and how much importance you are willing to give them. Anyhow, I'm rambling now, but I really liked the concept. Obviously. There is a whole story about it. ;-)


	11. Leaving Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia earns her first command and finds leaving home to be more challenging than she expected.
> 
> [POV: Leia]  
> [Leia: Age 18]  
> Post-chapter 53 of “Where I’ve Always Been”

“You’re not serious?”

Barriss sighed. “Leia, your aunt is extremely serious about it. I know it’s a bit over the top, but it’s important to her. Luke had one, as well. Please, tell me you’re not going to throw a fit.”

“I don’t throw fits,” Leia retorted. “I just don’t see how having an official promotion ceremony is beneficial. I thought it was a silly formality as a princess, much less as a rebel. Do you know how many of those things I had to sit through?”

An eyebrow raised. “You were saying something about not having fits?”

Giving her aunt a glare, she crossed her arms. “Fine. What do I have to do?”

Barriss fixed her with a disapproving expression and remained silent.

 _I hate it when you look at me like that._ “What? I’ll do it, if it’s important to Ahsoka. I have to be happy about it, too?”

There was a resigned exhale. “Nevermind. I’ll just tell Ahsoka we can’t do it. I’ll send you to Corellia earlier than anticipated or something.” She ran fingers over her forehead and closed her eyes.

The young woman gazed at her, guilt rising. _She looks so tired. I’m making it worse._ Kneeling in front of the chair, Leia took her hand. “I’m sorry.”

Blue eyes flipped open in surprise and then a small smile formed. “It’s alright. I’m not really upset with you, just a bit tired.”

Gripping the hand tightly, Leia said, “You need to get some rest.”

“I know. I will.” The tone was reassuring, but the eyes said something different.

Assessing her carefully, Leia gave the woman a knowing look. “No, you won’t. As soon as I leave this room, you’re going straight back to work. Don’t try to convince me otherwise.”

Barriss stared for a moment, before a wan expression formed. “I suppose you’re right.”

Leia contemplated and then grinned shrewdly. “If I do the ceremony—I mean, really do it and act like I love it, will you get some rest?”

Her aunt’s mouth opened slightly and then turned into an impressed smile. “Very good, my clever girl. You have successfully changed the parameters from my own wellbeing to Ahsoka’s.”

Producing an innocent expression, Leia said, “If you say so.” Then, she added quietly, “I learned from the best.”

Tears pooled in Barriss’ eyes as she ran an affectionate hand over Leia’s cheek. “I’ll miss you very much, my darling niece.”

Feeling a sad sort of pleasure, Leia leaned forward and hugged her tightly. “I’ll miss you too, Aunt Barriss.”

_______

Strapping the rest of the light armor into place, Leia grimaced. _You only have to wear it for a few hours. Get over it._ Turning around in front of the mirror, she winced. _I look like a complete nerfherder._

“Well, this is quite a day to remember. Didn’t think I’d live to see the spectacle of Leia willingly looking like a warrior of legend.”

Flipping around, she glared at her brother. “Don’t you start. It’s already bad enough I have to go through this rigmarole.”

Luke shook his head in amusement and strolled into her room. “You know, some people consider their promotion ceremonies to be pivotal moments of their life.”

She snorted. “Show me these people.”

He gazed at her for a moment and then grinned. “You’re talking to one of them.”

Her mouth dropped open. “You’re not serious?”

Moving closer, Luke put hands on her metal-plated shoulders and kissed her forehead. “I’m totally serious, sister mine. It was the first time I felt like a true warrior. It was as if I had spent my life preparing and it finally happened. I was judged worthy or something. It sounds silly I know, but it felt… amazing.”

Leia stared at him and then said, “Sorry, I suppose I didn’t think of it that way.”

He laughed. “I’m sure you didn’t. To you, getting your first command was probably an inevitable next step in your long-term plan, not a pinnacle to be reached. Maybe, you’ll feel like I did when you’re running the whole rebellion or have freed the planet or something equally as audacious.”

She knew he was teasing, but the statement hit her heart. _Is that true?_

His face turned concerned. “I was just kidding.”

“I know,” Leia replied slowly, “but you might be right. I never really stop to recognize each step. I’m only interested in the destination, I think. Now, I can’t decide if that’s good or bad.”

Luke shrugged. “I can’t say. Though, I can tell you that enjoying this moment is worthwhile.”

“Well,” she said with a small smile, “I’ll test your theory today and see how it goes.”

An engaging grin flashed. “Excellent. Besides, if it’s like mine, Aunt Ahsoka will make it a memorable experience either way.” His eyes drifted off for a moment as he murmured, “She was so proud of me.”

Leia snorted and then kissed his cheek. “You don’t need a ceremony to tell you that. She practically broadcasts it everytime you walk by.”

Luke looked at her in surprise. “You think so?”

Gaping at him, she said, “You’re kidding, right? It’s so obvious.”

His eyes shined with pleasure. “Huh. Thanks.”

She rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe I have to tell you this. Alright, my clueless brother, let’s go. I can’t be late for my glorious entrance.”

He laughed and held out an arm. “This way, my lady.”

Taking it, Leia said quietly, “I’ll miss you very much, you know.”

Luke jerked his head around to gaze at her and a happy smile formed. “Not as much as I’ll miss you.”

_______

Finishing off her tenth and final opponent, Leia turned toward her aunt with triumph.

Ahsoka was grinning from ear to ear, pride shining from her entire being.

The sight caused Leia to inhale sharply. _Wow._

The assembled group of rebels gave a loud, raucous cheer that quickly became deafening. Leia’s eye automatically ran over her family in the crowd with glee. Luke and Ezra were whooping excitedly, while Sabine had jumped on Zeb’s back as they yelled and spun around. Rex had a triumphant fist in the air. Asajj gave her an impressed nod. Caleb and Hera were waving enthusiastic hands at the crowd to encourage the cheers. Luminara and Obi-Wan were more sedate, but had happy smiles. The latter performed a small thumbs up.

She finally found Barriss, who gave no outward sign of celebration, but had fixed extremely proud eyes on her. Holding on to the intent gaze, Leia let herself fall completely into the moment. A strangely intoxicating feeling of accomplishment surged through her. She smiled so widely she felt her face might be stuck in that position.

It was possibly one of the best moments of her life. _Huh. Guess Luke was right, after all._

_______

Ahsoka walked forward with a large wooden box and set it down in front of her. Putting up a hand to quiet the crowd, she stated, “You have proven yourself an able warrior, strategic commander, and tenacious leader. You have also shown courage in the face of adversity. We are honored to have you among us.”

Reaching down to the box, she lifted out a richly designed, custom short sword. “This is not merely a weapon. It represents the dedication, discipline, and skill needed to receive it. It also symbolizes the responsibility entrusted to you.”

Placing the sword into Leia’s hands, Ahsoka locked shining eyes on hers and whispered, “I’m so very proud of you, my amazing niece.” Surveying the surrounding crowd, she announced, “I present to you, Commander Leia Organa.”

The cheers renewed in earnest. However, Leia barely noticed them as she gazed at the sword. Intricate patterns were beautifully inlaid on the hilt. The royal emblem of Alderaan was intertwined with two others she knew well. _My parents._

Tears started to form as her eyes followed the line of the hilt to another image she recognized. Crossed sabers framed by a shining diamond were set into a rounded phoenix. It was what Ahsoka called their family crest, but also used as a symbol of the Rebellion. The two sets of engravings merged in the middle to form a single combined design.

Leia realized her cheeks were wet, but it didn’t seem to matter. She continued to stare unwaveringly at the sword, emotions she couldn’t control raging through her. A hand wrapped over hers, finally tearing her gaze away from the mesmerizing object.

Ahsoka gripped Leia's fingers over the hilt with an understanding smile. Then, she raised their crossed hands into the air, pointing the sword skyward.

Leia stood in almost overwhelming happiness as cheers raged around them. Unable to think beyond the present moment, she simply took it in. _Wow._

_______

Surveying her now empty room, Leia picked up the last bag, a strange sadness settling into her heart.

“Ready to go, my dear?”

Leia nodded. “Yes, I suppose so.”

Ahsoka’s face fluctuated and then a supportive smile formed. “You’ll do great.” There was tightness around the fierce blue eyes and a slight tremble in the usually firm jaw.

 _She’s upset, but trying to be strong for me._ “I'll miss you,” Leia blurted out.

Her aunt took a sharp breath and then pulled her into a tight hug. “And, I will miss you, my amazing niece. So much. Please… be safe.”

Relaxing in the supportive embrace, Leia let the feeling of contentment wash over her. After a few moments, she lifted her head and said softly, “Don’t worry, Aunt Ahsoka. Everything is going to be alright.”

Ahsoka gazed at her for a moment, eyes misting over. Then, her aunt’s muscles untensed as a confident grin formed. Gentle lips kissed her forehead. “I know it will.”

Laying her head back onto Ahsoka’s chest, Leia smiled happily. “Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a short one and was designed as a transition point for Leia. Letting her move forward from princess to rebellion commander. Her period in her new home has ended and now its time to make her own way in the world. However, that doesn't mean she's alone. She's now a firmly entrenched part of this family. How she approaches things will be based on who she was and who she is now. So, I wanted to illustrate that development here. Throwing in some family feels is always fun too!


	12. Instinct

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia faces a command decision based on instinct, when an unexpected figure from the past returns. 
> 
> [POV: Leia]  
> [Leia: Age 18]  
> Set between chapters 53-54 of “Where I’ve Always Been”

“I already told you, I'm just the middleman. How was I supposed to know they filled half the crates with rocks?” the casual voice floated from the holding room.

Leia grabbed the doorframe. She knew that voice.

There was a disbelieving guffaw from her lieutenant. “Whatever you say, smuggler. It's not me you have to convince. It's my commander. And, believe me, she ain't easy to convince. You'd better come up with something better soon or you'll wish you'd never tried to cheat us.”

“A woman commander, huh? Things are looking up! I'm just an hard-working businessman providing a valuable service to the brave warriors of the Rebellion, after all. I'm sure she’ll understand my noble intentions, once I explain the situation,” was the smoothly confident reply.

There was a loud snort. “Not my commander. She makes Palpatine seem like a loth-cat.”

The smuggler replied lightly, “I can see why you'd have trouble. Strong women prefer men with actual charm.”

_I’m going to enjoy this._ Strolling into the room, Leia commented, “I hope you're not referring to yourself, Han Solo.”

Spinning around in his chair, he gaped in disbelief, mouth opening and closing repeatedly.

Leia crossed to the front of the room and fixed him with an impassive stare.

He twisted back to the lieutenant. “Please, please, _please,_ tell me this is not your commander.”

The man smiled with satisfaction. “What? I thought your charm was supposed to overwhelm her? Why so worried?”

Solo groaned. “I am so dead.”

_______

“So, um, you’re with the rebellion now, huh? Or, were you always?”

Leia stood in front of the desk, watching the man shift nervously in his seat.

The adam’s apple protruded as he swallowed hard. “Anyway, nice to know you’ve recovered and are… uh, looking well.”

She continued her silent stare.

“Um, how long have you been based in Corellia, anyway? I don’t remember ever seeing you here, during my past drops. I mean, not that I would have necessarily and I’ve only been delivering to this location for a couple of months. So, you could have been here. I don’t know. Just curious and—”

Finally interrupting what was sure to be a rambling exposition of nonsense, Leia commented, “Is any of this important at the moment?”

Solo’s face fluctuated and then turned into a charming grin. “You really are looking well. In fact, you’re just as… cute as ever.”

The woman raised an eyebrow.

“Right. Maybe, not the best idea to reference past events. Just making conversation.”

She sighed. _I'm disappointed._ For some reason, Leia had hoped he was… more.

He straightened in the chair. “Come on, Princess, I’m a smuggler, a delivery boy. I don’t own the stuff.”

Leia replied softly, “Somehow, I expected better from you. Strange.”

The man stared at her with consternation. “What?”

She met his eyes. “The items you didn’t deliver were meant for survivors of Palpatine’s latest attacks. Rations, medicine, clothing… You didn’t just cheat the Rebellion. You cheated innocent victims.”

“Oh.” He looked away uncomfortably. “I didn’t…” Suddenly, his gaze shot back to hers. “It wasn’t on purpose. I got identified in an inspection line and had to drop my cargo. When I went back to retrieve it, I could only manage half of it. I had to… improvise the rest.”

She snorted. “Improvise means trying to still get paid full price for cargo you didn’t actually deliver?”

“Well, yeah. I am a scoundrel, in case you don’t remember.” He flashed a grin and shrugged.

The grin was still endearing. But, she was not in the mood. “Han, we really needed those supplies.”

His expression hardened. “Look, these things happen sometimes. That’s life, Princess. It ain’t exactly paradise.”

“Oh, I definitely know that, Han Solo, in case _you_ don’t remember,” she replied icily.

There was a slight wince, but then he leaned back in his seat a little too casually. “Ok, I deserved that one. But, I don’t know what you want me to do about it. You discovered it. I don’t have what you need. You don’t pay me. Everyone is unhappy. What happens now? You never do business with me again? Throw me in a cell somewhere to rot? I mean, the Rebellion doesn’t kill people for this kind of thing… um, you don’t right? Well, I suppose that whole kidnapping thing might still be in my file somewhere.”

Leia considered. She wasn’t sure what to do with him. Despite all evidence to the contrary, her instincts were telling her there was more to this man than swagger and selfishness. _This is becoming a very bad habit of yours, Leia._ “No,” she replied almost unwillingly, “you’re going to deliver what you promised.”

His mouth dropped open. “Um, what?”

Crossing to the door, she waved the lieutenant back into the room. “Escort him from the premises. Provide him with a list of the missing cargo. He is not to be readmitted to the compound, unless he arrives with the entire list. Pay him for the half he did deliver.”

The lieutenant couldn’t hide his surprise, but saluted. “Yes, ma’am.” Turning to the still gaping man, he said, “Come on, smuggler. Let’s go.”

Solo slowly rose from his seat. Stopping at the door, he commented wryly, “You know I could just not come back, right?”

She locked eyes with him. “Your choice, Han Solo. I asked you once to do something good with the life you got back. This is your chance. Don’t… disappoint me.”

The man gazed at her for a long moment. Then, he turned and left the room.

Leia walked back to the desk and slumped against it. It was foolish to let him leave without taking precautions. He could sell their location to agents of Palpatine, now that they were no longer a source of business. Still, she just had… a feeling.

Ahsoka’s grinning face flashed into her mind. _Without faith life is not worth living, my dear._ Leia smiled.

_______

A week later, her faith was rewarded.

Leia walked through the front of the compound to find an unknown Wookie unloading crates. _Ok then._ Glancing past the huge, woolly figure, she spotted an exultant Han Solo with a disbelieving lieutenant next to him.

“Um, looks like it’s all here, ma’am,” the officer said warily. Clearly, the man thought he was being tricked in some unknown manner.

“Of course it is,” the smuggler said, “I never disappoint cute ladies.” He flashed a roguish grin.

Leia stared impassively at him, until a small, unbidden smile crept onto her face. “Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Solo is back! This was a short one to give us a flavor of how Leia's first rebel command is shaping up and to roll Han back into her life. He ain't a rebel yet, but he's getting there.
> 
> I also liked the idea of Leia having the upper hand and driving the power dynamics in this situation as compared to their last meeting. I wanted them to be on more equal footing going forward.


	13. Solo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia recruits Han for a special mission. He isn't in this for her rebellion, no matter how many mythical warriors get thrown at him. Then again...
> 
> [POV: Han]  
> [Leia: Age 18]  
> Set between chapters 53-54 of “Where I’ve Always Been”

“So, what can I do for the royal highnessness?”

Leia snorted. “Do you have to make things difficult?”

“You like it that way, admit it,” Han replied with an innocent expression. 

Her face remained impassive, but the response had an undertone of amusement. “I think, _Ferdinand,_ you may have been dropped on your head one too many times as a child.”

The man shot a half-hearted glare, but took the opportunity to move closer. Lifting her hand and kissing it, he met Leia's intense brown eyes. “Lucky for you, that means I apparently have no self-preservation instinct and a bad habit of obeying your royal decrees.”

She gazed at him for a moment, then quickly removed her hand from his grip. “In that case, follow me.”

He flashed a roguish grin. “As you wish, your worship.”

_______

Han gaped at her. “You can’t be serious? That garrison is unbreachable. There is no way you can get in.”

Leia replied in annoyance, “We will, if you do your part. Either way, you should be safe enough. You’re just the random smuggler in this equation.”

She was right enough, but it wasn’t his safety that concerned him for once. “Leia, I’m not worried about—listen, I’m not doubting your skills, but I’ve been inside. It’s a suicide mission. You would need the mythical Lady Jedi or something to win.”

A small laugh unexpectedly came from the woman. “Um, that’s exactly who we’ll have.”

He gave her a blank look. “Huh?”

Another voice echoed across the room. “She said I _will_ be there.”

Han spun around to see a Togruta warrior in full battle armor walking in. His first thought was that she was magnificent. The second was that this couldn’t possibly be the lady of legend, who he firmly believed did not exist. His last thought was… _she doesn’t like me._ Fierce blue eyes flared with barely restrained anger and her face held something approaching hostility. Han was accustomed to both, but not from people he had never met. _Usually, anyway._  Raising dubious eyebrows, he gave her a slight smirk. “Uh, right. I’m supposed to believe you're the Lady Jedi, then?”

The warrior snapped, “Believe whatever you want, smuggler. Do you plan to help us or not?”

Yes, he hadn’t been wrong. This woman definitely did _not_ like him. “Well, since you asked so nicely, I’ll give it due consideration,” the man replied in his best haughty tone.

Leia interjected with what seemed like a high level of anxiety, “Alright, let’s discuss the details. Han, are you truly going to do this?”

He gazed into her beautiful eyes and forgot about the strange warrior glowering at him. “Yes, Princess. I’ll do it,” he answered softly.

She smiled at him and Han knew it would be totally worth it.

_______

Han crept back to his wagon with some trepidation. He had released the side lock and distracted the soldiers. His part was done and he was fairly safe, now.

However, his anxiety was increasing. _Why am I so worried? She’s just a random girl. An especially amazing and gorgeous one, true. Still, it’s not like I’m in this for her rebellion. I am getting well paid._ Despite agreeing with his own thoughts, he couldn't shake the worry.

_I should have made Chewie come with me on this insane job. But, no, I just had to play the part of the lone hero. This is what you get for trying to impress a girl, Solo._

He hunkered out of sight, anticipating the disaster that was about to unfold. _There’s an entire company of elite soldiers in here._ Han shook his head. These rebels were crazy.

_______

Surveying the carnage surrounding him, Han Solo realized two things. One, he had been worried for nothing. And, two, he had actually just met the Lady Jedi.

On top of that, he was thoroughly enjoying himself. Watching Leia fight was entrancing. His eyes kept switching between her and the Lady Jedi in fascination, noting the similarities in style. Apparently, Leia had been trained by her.

 _Wait._ Hadn’t there been a Togruta bodyguard back when he had… _Oh. Great. No wonder she hates me._ Still, he had fooled the Lady Jedi and that gave him no small sense of satisfaction.

At the same time, Han had an inexplicable urge to fix it. This woman was clearly important to Leia. He had observed their interactions during the briefing. The battle only confirmed it. For reasons unknown, he wanted anyone who was important to Leia to _not_ hate him. _Besides, that wasn't exactly your best moment, Solo._

Jumping down from his position, Han pulled out his small crossbow and approached the fight, watching for an opportunity. _Tricky._ He needed something that might improve his standing with the Lady Jedi, but not ruin his profitable relationship with the garrison. 

Suddenly, Han's heart jumped to his throat. Leia was surrounded and a nearby soldier was aiming a bow at her. The man was out of range, though. _I really need to learn how to throw knives or something. That would come in handy a lot, actually._

Instinctively swinging into action, Han sprinted out and knocked the soldier to the ground. Delivering a swift punch to the man’s temple, he leapt up with satisfaction to see both women staring at him. He grinned and shrugged.

Then, Han flipped around as three well-armed soldiers charged him. _Good job, Solo. I guess you’re a rebel now._

_______

Groaning slightly, Han opened his eyes. “Am I dead?”

There was a brief snort. “Not yet, smuggler.”

He jerked his head to see the Lady Jedi winding a bandage. Glancing down, Han saw his wound had been treated and partially wrapped.

“Don’t move, I’m almost finished,” the woman said as she continued bandaging his chest.

“Well, it’s not everyday you get tended by the Lady Jedi. I will have to consider this a highlight of my week or something,” Han commented in what he hoped was a charming manner. 

There was a brief flash of wry amusement. “Only your week? I would expect at least a year, maybe even decade.”

He grinned. Things were looking up. “I don’t know. I’ve had a lot of strange experiences. I’ll give it further consideration.”

“Hmm… don’t take too long. I might just revert to my original inclination and accidentally stab you.”

Trying to reply casually, Han said, “That would definitely _not_ be the highlight of my week.”

There was another snort. “Alright, I’m finished. You should still not move, though.” The woman got up and headed toward the door.

“Wait! I wanted to—In Chandrila, I didn’t know they were going to hurt her. I assume that’s why you hate me, anyway,” he rushed out. _Why do I care?_

She turned around slowly with an unreadable expression. “I don’t hate you, Solo. Distrust you, definitely. Dislike you, possibly. Hate is a strong word.”

Han gave the most charming smile he could manage. “Hey, that’s something. I knew we could be friends.” Seeing her fierce eyes narrow, he threw in, “I only thought they were going to ransom her and I was kind of in a bind.” The words came out weakly. “Oh, nevermind. I don’t really have an acceptable excuse. I just look out for me. It’s who I am.”

Eyebrows raised and the woman seemed to assess him for a moment. “No, I don’t think that’s who you are. You might want to think so. But, I suspect Leia is right about you. Which is interesting. Winning her faith is no easy accomplishment.”

His eyes darted to hers. “You think she has faith in me?” The thought made him unaccountably happy.

She grinned. It was an engaging grin filled with confidence. Han found it strangely magnetic. “Why don’t you ask her yourself?”

He grimaced. “Right.”

As the woman turned to walk out of the room, she added, “By the way, if you hurt her, I _will_ kill you.” Then, she was gone.

Han laid motionless in his bed. “Well, that instills me with confidence.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story started out with me wanting to have Ahsoka, the over-protective aunt, crash Leia and Han's developing relationship. Which, of course, is just what I did. However, since we know Ahsoka well enough to know exactly what she's thinking(!), I decided to write it from Han's POV. I wanted to explore him not understanding his own actions. In canon, I always think he gets drawn in a bit against his own better judgement. 
> 
> In the end, I just loved the idea of Ahsoka having to keep herself from stabbing him every other minute.


	14. Compulsory Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When a dashing Luke Skywalker arrives on the scene, Han Solo has to decide what he wants.

“Han!”

He grimaced and flipped around. “Yes, your highnessness?”

Leia strode up to him, fists clenched on curvaceous hips. “I thought you had decided to stay?”

The man hooked thumbs into his weapons belt. “The bounty hunter we ran into at Ord Mantell changed my mind.”

Her face softened. “Han, we need you.”

_ What about you? _ Staring into the entrancing, intense eyes seriously tested his resolve. Han had never wanted any woman the way he wanted Leia. At first, she was simply an irresistible challenge. Somewhere in the process, though, he had lost his mind. “We need?” he remarked with a devilish smirk. “I think you just can’t bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight.”

Leia’s expression froze and then a dry eyebrow quirked. “I don’t know where you get your ideas from, Ferdinand.”

Han had gotten as close as possible to making his move, but something always stopped him from following through. Taking the leap meant there was no going back to who he had been. Either way, it now looked as if the decision had been made for him.  _ I could stay and fight, sweep her off her feet. But… I won’t.  _ It was both miserable and freeing. And, like always, Han Solo had chosen to run.

Before the man could decide whether he should respond or simply escape this torturous conversation, Leia’s lieutenant came careening around the corner. Halting to attention, he barked out, “Commander Skywalker hasn’t returned from scouting, ma’am.”

Her eyes widened. “How overdue is he?”

“Nearly four hours.”

Han cringed. He liked the kid, despite circumstances. Glancing at Leia, his heart compressed. She was good at hiding the distress, but not from him.  _ Do something. _ Looking back at the lieutenant, Han asked, “Where was his last reported location?”

“The enemy compound in the west quarter of the city.”

Nodding, he started jogging down the corridor. “I’ll find him, Princess, don’t worry.”

There was a gasp and an unnaturally high-pitched reply, “Han, wait! We need a plan. You can’t go by your—”

“Hey, it’s me,” he yelled back. Reaching the door and throwing a jacket over his shoulders, the man twisted around to give her a roguish wink. “I thought you had faith in me?” 

Then, Han took off out the door before anyone could stop him.

_______

Observing the compound from a side alley, Han Solo once again tried to figure out what he was doing here. _Not only have you become some sort of bleeding heart hero, you apparently will risk everything to make a random girl happy. Ok, she’s not just any girl. Still, you’re also rescuing your competition. Is it possible you enjoy torturing yourself?_

For whatever reason, Han had found himself utterly unable to leave Leia. Until Luke had shown up, the man had almost resigned himself to his fate. Then, everything had changed. It was obvious the woman loved the young commander deeply. It was equally obvious Luke returned her affections. They were virtually inseparable. That had somehow released Han from his insanity. Yet, here he was—risking his life to make her happy. _There is something seriously wrong with you, Solo._

Granted, he probably would have done it for Luke, anyway. There was something intrinsically appealing about the young man. His earnest and open nature was unlike anyone Han had every encountered. _That’s the kind of man for Leia. An honorable warrior with a noble purpose. A good person. Someone who can love her properly._

Making his way to the side of the building, he assessed options. It looked unbreachable. There was no obvious way inside. _How did the kid even get in here? You’d be better off just knocking on the door and asking them to let you in._ A slow, cocky grin formed. _Actually…_

Loading his miniature crossbow, Han tucked it into the jacket’s hidden liner. Then, he flipped up his collar and swaggered to the front door. “Hey, in there! Anyone interested in some samples of prime merchandise?” Han pulled out an elegant, jewel-encrusted dagger and spun it around his fingers. “Too bad. I’ve got a whole crate of Mando-made daggers I need to move quickly. We’re talking warrior-level quality at a soldier-level price, all on the down-low. My loss is your gain!”

There was faint movement behind the doors, but no other response. Han grinned and leaned casually against the door, ensuring he was in view of the hidden viewing slit cut into the stonework. “I’ll give you four minutes to decide. Then, I’m gone.” _Now, we wait._

_______

Gripping the young man on his shoulder, Han sprinted down the street as raucous yells echoed behind him. Veering out of his pursuers’ line of sight, the man crossed to a connecting street. Spotting a stack of crates, he slid Luke into a large one at the back. “Stay here, kid. I’ll be back soon.”

Taking off the other direction, Han wove in and out of alleyways. After a significant distance, he hunkered down to listen and scan the area. _Looks like you lost them, Solo._ A self-satisfied smile formed as the man doubled back around.

Finally reaching Luke’s hiding spot, Han breathed a sigh of relief. Sardonic blue eyes gazed up at him. “About time. I’m going to have a crick in my back for a week.”

Smirking, Han lifted him out of the crate and stood the young man on unsteady feet. “You’re welcome.” He quickly assessed him. “Yeah, you’re not going to be able to move fast enough. Sorry.”

Luke opened a mouth to object, but only managed an outraged cry before Han had him over his shoulder and was again running down the street.

_______

“So, I hear you’re leaving?”

Han froze for a moment and then nodded. “Yep. I need to pay off some old debts.”

Luke gazed at him and then shifted up in his cot. “You could come back after that, though, right?”

“I do have a life other than your rebellion, you know,” Han commented.

“Yeah, I get it. You have to make your own choices. Still, I want to make sure you know that we’d like you to stick around. I mean you are a surprisingly good rebel.” Luke flashed an engaging grin. “But, you’re also a great friend.”

Han’s eyebrows rose. _I don’t do friends, kid._ Despite the thought, he found himself strangely pleased by the idea. _Huh._ He smirked. “Guess you’ll just have to save yourself in future.”

Luke laughed. “I’ll do my best.” Then, he added hesitantly, “Though, I think Leia really wants you to stay.”

This time, Han’s mouth fell open. Slamming it closed, he leaned a casual shoulder against the wall. “Is that right? I’m sure she’ll get over it. She’s got the most recklessly brave warrior on the planet sitting in her infirmary, after all.” He threw a conspiratorial wink at the young man.

Luke’s brow furrowed and then his face filled with horror. “Oh Gods. You don’t think—oh no.” Straightening in the bed, he locked their eyes. “Han, it’s not like that at all. We don’t have that kind of relationship.” His body shuddered with apparent revulsion at the thought. “Leia is… like a sister to me. She thinks of me the same way. I guarantee it.”

“Wait…” Han’s mind started spinning. Trying to gather his thoughts, he looked at the earnest face. _Luke is nothing if not stupidly honest._ “Oh. Ok then.”

The expressive blue eyes lit up in shrewd delight. “Does that mean you might stick around after all? Because, um, I really think it could be worth your while,” he ended meaningfully.

Han stared at him as a roguish grin crept up the sides of his face. “Hmm, I don’t know. I suppose I could be convinced.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure Han Solo has no idea how he ended up here.


End file.
